"Me And My Big Mouth"

By John Stallings



…. And he charged him to tell no man. Luke 5:14


I openly confess that a chain saw scares me.

One time I read a story about a man who cut off an arm and half a leg and a finger or two, and it just ruined me for chain saws. I didn’t see the movie “The Texas chain saw massacre” but I heard about it, and it didn’t help me a bit. Everyone from my father to the best carpenters I know have told me that a chain saw can back up on you and chew you up. That’s good enough for me. I have used a saw from time to time in my life under the tutelage of an expert, but can’t say I was ever comfortable doing it. If there is going to be one tool to hate, it seems to me that hating the chain saw makes the most sense.

A chain saw is loud like a dentist drill; it’s hard to control, packing a lot of destructive power. I can’t think of a better description of the tongue. Noisy, hard to control and it cuts things into pieces. Some of us have already been at it today.

People even glorify the tongue's power. Shakespeare was good at the crafted insult and clever barb. In entertainment, we laugh at people with caustic and sardonic wit. People laugh and say, “Doesn’t he have a clever tongue?"The most successful comedians are the ones with the most cutting, sarcastic edge. Though I’m much older now, I can remember like it was yesterday many hurtful things that were said to me as a child.

What hurts me much worse is the fact that there are people who remember hurtful things I’ve said to them. The damage we do with these tongues is terrible.Thus the title of this piece...Me and my big mouth.

LET’S LOOK AT TEN PRINCIPLES ABOUT THE TONGUE AND THE WORDS WE USE.


1. WORDS ARE SYMPTOMS OF A DEEPER CONDITION.

Words reveal what’s inside us. The activity of my tongue reveals the state of my heart. None of us wants to believe this but it’s true. We often say “I didn’t really mean that, it just slipped out.” Right! The truth is; that’s exactly what I meant. Like a chain saw, we massacre our friends with our tongues then, ashamed of the bloodshed, we say, “Wow, I guess my tongue got away from me didn’t it.” The reason we’re embarrassed is that our words have lifted the blinds on who we really are inside, and it’s not a pretty sight. When I gossip, it’s because I love gossip. When I lie, I display a deceptive heart. My words are windows into the state of my soul. Or to use an old saying, “What’s down in the well comes up in the bucket.”

I don’t hold Sigmund Freud in high esteem, but I think he had one thing right when he told us about the slips of the tongue we now call “Freudian Slips”. He believed that many of our slips of the tongue weren’t slips at all, but windows into what’s really going on inside.

In Matthew 12:34-37, Jesus really delivers the bad news to us;

….For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things. But I say unto you, that every idle word that men speak, they shall give account therof in the day of judgement. For by thy words thou shalt be justified and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.

2. WE SHOULD USE WORDS SPARINGLY.

Proverbs 10:19 says,... In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.---James 5:12 says… But let your yea be yea, and your nay be nay.

In other words, the more words we use the more likely we are to get into trouble.

The positive value of words is magnified when we use words sparingly. Do you know what would happen if the government started printing and releasing huge quantities of dollars and handing them out? We wouldn’t be richer. The result would be inflation—dollars would lose their value. [sadly, this is happening now.] Words are also subject to inflation. When we talk incessantly, people stop listening.

THE CHAIRMAN OF THE FEDERAL RESERVE IS A GOOD MODEL

The chairman of America's Federal Reserve has to be extraordinarily careful what he says, because investors pay attention to every word. One careless word from him can send markets around the world up or down. In the early eighties, a Florida stock market analyst caused a panic on Wall Street by sending out one word to his mailing list; SELL. Our aim should be to make every word count for good. We should treat words as a precious resource and use then sparingly.

There are times when God has a message he wants delivered and he calls on men and women to be his mouthpiece. There are other times when God does things secretly for reasons we can really only surmise; but we should take a lesson.

3. WHEN YOU KNOW YOU HAVE GOD'S FAVOR, IT'S BEST TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT ABOUT IT.

The first 13 chapters of Genesis cover’s a period of two thousand years. The last 13 chapters of Genesis deal with one man’s life and that man is Joseph. His life spanned only one-hundred and ten years. First God uses 13 chapters to cover two thousand years; then he uses 13 chapters to cover one-hundred ten years. That tells me that God strongly suggests we take a careful look at Joseph and study his life.

When young Joseph, dressed in the snazzy sport coat that his dad had given him, started telling dreams of his future dominion and greatness to his brothers, he was on dangerous grounds, and it almost cost him his life.

Later in Joseph’s life, God illustrated how this principle works. When Joseph was in jail in Egypt for thirteen years, God was working on a plan that would affect much of the world. Had the leaders under Pharaoh known that one day Joseph would come out of the prison and control the whole treasury of the land, second only to Pharaoh himself, its almost certain that they would have had him killed. He would never have seen daylight again. Not even Pharaoh knew what he was going to do in promoting Joseph until he’d done it. God can be very secretive.

When you and I have God's favor, we won’t have to tell people anyway; it will be so obvious, everyone can see it.

4. WORDS SHOULD BE SPOKEN SOFTLY AND KINDLY.

Proverbs 15:1-2 says, A gentle answer turneth away wrath but harsh words stir up anger.

I’m going to give you three statements and ask you to tell me what they all have in common.

# One. A schoolteacher speaks out in class to one of her sleepy ten year old students and says, “Joey, wake up back there or you’re going to fail this course. I know your mother and Dad have been having drinking and quarrelling lately at night and you’ve not been able to get much rest, but you have to stay awake and start listening.”

# Two. A doctor is at a party and as he sips a glass of wine he blurts out for all to hear, “You people all know Mrs. Jones, right? Well she wouldn’t sleep so well tonight if she knew what I know. We just got her tests back and it looks like cancer to me.”

# Three. A Pastor who’s chairing his church annual business meeting speaks to his church folk, “Folks, brother Jones and his wife are having serious martial problems and it looks like they’re getting a divorce so he’s withdrawn his name to be voted on as Deacon this year.”

What do these statements have in common?

They may be {are} true but any person with any heart at all would agree that to say those things publicly would be terribly heartless. These words aren’t kind. The people who said these things could never excuse themselves by saying, “well, it’s true.” It may all be true, but any intelligent person would say, “yes, but your truth telling is totally out of place and inappropriate and what you’ve done is cruel and thoughtless.” We feel in our hearts that a person at least should be given some modicum of right to privacy. Or do we?

5. WE MUST BE CAREFUL NOT TO USE WORDS AS WEAPONS.

Words have a potential for much goodness but conversely they also can be like containers of poisonous gas, and though we often take what we say lightly, God never does.

Have you ever noticed when you were out in public that you can hear a person talking angrily to someone, that it makes you feel terrible, even though the words weren’t spoken to you? Angry words spoken within earshot of you can cause your food to lose its appeal.

A stinging word is like a bullet, it leaves an impact on everything it hits. I know I'm mixing metaphors here but it also feels like being bitten, only it's an emotional bite. I know I've mentioned it a lot in my blogs but I've been flabbergasted, especially over the last year or two at how many famous people; actors, politicians and others have actually shot themselves out of the saddle with their words. Its like - something they've said comes to light one day and the next day they're gone-"and are going to be spending more time with their family." We all make mistakes with our tongue but sometimes I think we should write our elected officials and remind them to brush-up on the book of James once in a while.

Does this routine sound familiar?

HE- Hi honey, I’m home.
SHE- Did you remember to buy milk?
HE- I didn’t know we needed milk.
SHE- But I asked you to get milk.
HE- You never said a thing about milk.
SHE- Well you weren’t listening then. You knew we were out.
I can’t do everything you know.
HE- You don’t have to yell at me.
SHE- I’m not yelling.
HE- You are too yelling. Listen to yourself.
SHE- Well if I’m yelling it’s because you’re yelling.
HE- I never once yelled.

Now you’ve got a fight going. Right about this time, if either of these two people has a relative who’s been to jail, it’s coming out. All the living members of their respective families are fair game now and maybe a few people will even be brought back from the grave to be used as exhibits. Satellites start hooking up in space and begin to hum as the memory banks of both these people are ransacked, looking for material to use on each other. Incidentally, they will both lose.

I have used words on people that were carefully crafted to go straight to their heart and sting. I am ashamed to say it, but there is no one that will read this that doesn’t know exactly what I’m talking about. We do it all too often and we do it most to the ones we love best. Every one of us has been on the giving and the receiving end of this kind of cruelty.

So how do we stop the bloodletting? We must be spirit controlled and constantly be guarding the chain saw inside our mouths, and in case of any doubt, keep the thing turned off. God set it behind two rows of teeth and between two powerful jaws for a reason. James said the tongue is a force that can be set on fire of hell. The tongue may be small, but like the little kindling used to start a fire, it has power to destroy. As a matter of fact, it’s almost impossible to start a fire with large pieces of wood.

Proverbs 25:15 says, Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle word can break bones.

6. OUR WORDS MUST ALWAYS BE THE TRUTH.

The truth is a precious commodity. Our CIA knows this and will spend vast amounts of money to get truthful information about the world so we can make decisions on a solid foundation. But our CIA also spends much money and energy spreading inaccurate information about our country. Why; because lies are a deadly weapon.

One of the worst uses of the tongue is to lie. When I lie to you, I’m robbing you of information you need to live wisely. Proverbs 6:17 says that a lying tongue is disgusting to God. He hates lies. I haven’t heard it lately but when I was a kid they used to say, “you can lock up from a thief but you can’t lock up from a liar.”

Paul says in Ephesians 4; 29, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying that it may minister Grace unto the hearers.”
Paul is saying here that a thing has to be more than merely true, it has to be edifying. And then Paul goes on to say something else that is somewhat shocking. He says our words must be “ministers of grace.” With an ocean of ink and a thousand word processors and four lifetimes, we might start to scratch the surface on that subject.

7. WE SOMETIMES TELL LIES USING THE TRUTH.

I once pastored a lady who would never tell a lie. She was a wonderful lady. I never heard her say an unkind word to anyone. She loved and encouraged people. But she had one weakness—prayer requests. In her prayer requests she told on her husband who was a drinking man. We in the church knew all about his foibles. We got a running update every service. She loved to pass on her prayer requests and she did so often and in great quantity. This lady constantly spilled the beans on everyone in her life; friends, neighbors and relatives, and it was all done under the guise of prayer requests.

She didn’t really intend to harm anyone-and she certainly didn’t think of herself as a gossip. All her talking was in her sharing all of her prayer requests. Also, she loved details about other people’s prayer requests. I often heard her say, “Give me the details so I’ll know how to pray.” Once I can remember telling her how to formulate a prayer without having all the gory details. I never made a dent on her. She was God's prayer request Doberman and she "wasn’t going to let the devil stop her."

Gossip and slander often disguise themselves as concern, seeking advice, asking for prayer and unloading, but the big Elephant in the living room is just talking too much.

A simple rule; when you know someone is facing difficulties, talk with the person, and talk to God. There is almost never a need to talk to anyone else.


8. WE GOSSIP IN THE NAME OF PSYCHOLOGICAL HEALTH.

Many people are being encouraged to “Be completely honest and truthful about their feelings.” They are told by numb skull advisers that if you don’t spill out all the things inside you, you’ll be warped. Many times I’ve cringed when I heard the words, “I’m just going to be honest.” I can never remember those words being followed by anything good. They use words like “I don’t want to hurt you; I just have to be honest about my feelings.” Under the cowardly cloak of “pseudo-honesty” they slander their parents their spouses and friends. This isn’t what it means to speak truthfully. This is just an excuse to even scores with people, and to dump all of the trash and wickedness of our hearts out onto others. It’s a two-edged sword that at one and the same time appears spiritual, sharing their hurt, while slapping someone else in the face that was the real target anyway. And most tragic; often the people they dump it on aren’t strong enough emotionally to carry it and end up weaker.

## Don’t let “truth telling” become an excuse to dishonor parents or hurt other people by unloading your feelings.
Could it be that we are so vindictive that we want to hurt someone without being held accountable for the assault? After all, if we walked up to the person we wish to hurt and punched them in the face, we’d be jailed for it. So how can we do it without having to account for it? Oh yes, here’s a way to get-em; we can go public by being “painfully honest” and enlisting “ prayer- support.”

9. LETS DON’T FORGET! --A CHAIN SAW CAN BE A USEFUL TOOL.

The tongue has awesome power for good. If I were trapped under a fallen tree, the sound of a chain saw, as much as I fear them, would be music to my ears. Proverbs 18:21 says …The tongue has the power of life or death.
Kind words are among the most loving things human beings can give one another. Words can build up a person’s confidence and make them winners in life. It was said of Napoleon that half of what he accomplished was done with words.

If we allow our tongues to go on automatic pilot, they can simply revert to the old habits of gossip and lies. The antidote is to keep the tongue busy with words of blessing, praise, appreciation, forgiveness and apology. In I Corinthians 13:11 Paul tells us that one of the earmarks of a child is the way they speak. Children have no filter and will say just about anything that comes to mind. You can also identify spiritual babies that way. There are some things that a grown-up will never say in a million years, if it takes biting their tongues 24/7.

If we’re honest, most of us will admit we’ve been hurt with words in the last 24 hours. The wounds may still be fresh. The people we live with and work around aren’t always nice and polite to us. They yell at us, curse and insult us.

But it’s our calling as Christians to return blessings for curses—to return kind words for harsh ones. You can be an enormous influence for healing in your world if you simply accept it as your calling to exchange blessings for curses.

10. OUR TONGUE PROBLEMS MUST BE DEALT WITH AT THE CROSS.

I first need a change of heart. I can’t do that on my own. We must come to the foot of the cross and experience God’s grace and get a new nature. God gives us a new nature and a new heart and he also gives us the Holy Spirit. It then becomes our lifelong challenge to daily put the old nature to death and live according to our new nature. We all have an evil twin who likes to rattle on and on. The apostle Paul had his, and you can read about it in Romans 7.The tongue problem is just like a substance abuse problem, and when you catch yourself falling into old patterns, don’t feel alone. Just deal with it and keep on dealing with it but never "do a deal" with it.

#May God deliver us from cowardice, that dare not face the truth,

#Laziness, content with knowing half the truth,

#And arrogance that thinks it has all the truth.

May He deliver us from rudeness,
Cynicism about each other,
Intolerance and cruel indifference.

And may we all pray with David,


SET A WATCH O LORD, BEFORE MY MOUTH, KEEP THE DOOR OF MY LIPS. PSALM 141:3.

Blessings,

John