Nip/ Tuck, Comb And Pluck

By John Stallings



“Beauty? Let me tell you something...

 Being thought of as “a beautiful woman” has spared me from nothing in life, no heartache, no trouble. Love has been difficult. Beauty is essentially meaningless, and it is always transitory.”

Who do think spoke these words? She has been among People magazine’s 50 most beautiful people. No-it’s not Phyllis Diller, or Diva Clinton or even Drama Queen Pelosi. Her name? - Halle Berry.

I won’t even comment on the possibilities of what Sandra Bullock could add here if she was so disposed. You have to feel for the poor woman because she waited until she was in her late thirties or early forties to marry, hoping to pick the right man. Known globally for outward beauty, she probably kissed a lot of frogs before she found her “prince” who turned out to be a jerk.

According to a fairly recent article in the Chicago Tribune, inner beauty may not be enough these days. Did we ever think it was in America?

In an article Wendy Donahue called “When Inner Beauty Simply Isn’t Enough,” the author reports on the growing popularity of plastic surgery to improve personal appearance.

“Blame the Baby Boomers for turning 50 at the rate of about 5 million a year or the Hollywood Foreign Press for awarding a best Golden Globe to an “Extreme-makeover” soap opera.

But like it or not, the nip/tuck trend has and is spreading like wildfire in this country. The numbers are now in the millions according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. It’s not just Palm Beach socialites having procedures, at the end of the day everyone wants to look better.”

A female comedian recently said; “The doctor said he couldn’t give me a face lift -but he could lower my body.”

BEAUTY- FROM GOD’S POINT OF VIEW

I’m not critical of a woman for at least trying for physical beauty, as long as she doesn’t go too far. You might say, “Brother, who decides when it’s “too far?” I don’t believe anyone should try to be a judge in matters like this unless it gets totally ridiculous. However, even a child can look at a woman and know they have on too much make-up.

We once knew a wonderful lady who wore too much make-up. She was a warm and compassionate woman who loved God with her whole heart. If I were sick, I’d much rather have her pray for me than some of the “great and highly favored men of faith” on T.V. But this dear lady wore too much make-up. It must have taken her hours to get it all on and there must have been long hours in the “repair shop.”

One night in church a little 4 year old boy walked up to her and said, “You look like a clown.” The little fellow didn’t have a mean bone in his body and wasn’t being critical, he was just being honest. As you know, young children “calls em like they sees em.” His mother was devastated because she had no idea her little angel had that in him. I’m thinking he had a hard time sitting down for a few days after that.

Fortunately the lady took no offense and thought the whole thing was funny. I can’t say with any certainty that women are vainer than men in the area of personal appearance, but women probably put more emphasis on their appearance than most men do.

Women, -“get ready” for bed at night. That’s a feminine thing to do. They have their nighttime rituals. It takes them time to get ready for bed. I don’t know a man who gets ready for bed. Men don’t know how to get ready for bed, we just go to bed. Juda and I can arrive at a motel at three in the morning and she’ll busy around in the bathroom for a minimum of thirty minutes. Her mother taught her to take her make-up off before she goes to bed and it’s coming off, no matter what.

But the reality is, all of us use too much “make-up.” From time to time we cover up our real selves. We struggle with authenticity. Too often we can be like the people Jesus mentioned in Matthew 15:8, in that “we honor Him with our lips but our hearts are far from Him.”

CHILD’S PLAY

Practically everything children do in the area of play have to do with pretending to be something they’re not. In fact most all toys are designed to help kids pretend in some way. Girls have toy ovens so they can pretend to cook like their mother. Boys accumulate a collection of costumes so they can pretend to be heroes like Robin Hood, The Lone Ranger, Batman or Superman.

When I was a kid I had seventeen or eighteen horses. They were all stick horses but I covered ground on them, moving as if I were astride a real galloping horse. The gunfire noises I made vocally were so “perfect” you could imagine hearing the bullets ricochet off rocks or other hard objects. It was an awesomely [childish] thing to behold.

It’s fine, even good for children to play in this way because it’s a normal part of development as individuals. Pretending is O.K for kids but the problem comes when people carry a form of this childish behavior into adulthood. All of us have been guilty of “playing pretend” in various ways. How often do we do things to make ourselves look spiritual? Some folk will ask questions to make themselves look spiritual. They will say ‘deep” things to make themselves appear to be “holy.”

When adults embrace this kind of deceitful behavior, God considers it to be a sin. As a matter of fact, pretending is another word for HYPOCRISY. In the New Testament the Greek work for “hypocrite” is ‘actor.” Pretending to be something we’re not. If you and I do that we’re hypocrites. If you want to be reminded of what Jesus thought about hypocrisy, read Matthew 23.

PETER’S ADVICE TO CHRISTIAN WIVES

In 1 Peter 3:1-6 Peter is giving advice to Christian women who want to see their unbelieving husbands saved. His advice is about mixed marriages.

Peter tells us that in the eyes of the Lord inner beauty matters more than outer beauty. Truthfully, it would be difficult to find more sensible advice than Peter gives here. He has in mind a wife who has an unsaved husband that she’s repeatedly shared the gospel with. Peter is saying that if a man doesn’t believe the Word-speaking of God’s Word, he can be won without words. Peter’s advice is “don’t nag him.”

We all hate for others to nag us especially when we know they’re right. Human nature being what it is, nagging usually drives people the other way.

Peter probably has in mind here women whose lives had been changed by the gospel. Women who were once involved in sacrifice at pagan alters, women who’d found forgiveness, freedom and dignity through the Gospel of Christ. Now these women go to church, learn the Scriptures, sing Christian songs and have a whole new set of friends. They can’t seem to stop talking about their new found faith. And here’s the poor husband. He not only doesn’t believe, he doesn’t even understand what all the fuss is about. To him, this man Jesus is just another deity. And who are these strange people his wife is hanging out with and why does she always want to go leave him on Sunday morning? And what’s all this talk about needing to be saved? And now she’s trying to drag the kids into it. “She doesn’t seem like the same girl I married.”

He’s right! She isn’t the same person he married. She’s a new creation. But he doesn’t understand that truth. All he sees is that this Jesus has messed up his wife and upset his family. And now she wants him to get into it, too.

There are probably some women reading this piece whose deepest desire is to see their husband come to Christ. And because of that intense desire the tendency is to “pour it on.” Bible verses are hanging all over the house. Books, tracks, records, tapes, Cd's, new place settings with Scripture on them are all around the table. The battle is on for a soul. But the husband feels his wife is pressuring him. Peter knows that a person can’t be nagged into the kingdom of God. He’ll either be scared off or made angry. Peter is telling Christian woman married to an unbeliever, back off. Take it easy. It’s not your job to convert him. Only God can do that. The less you say the better. Don’t make him feel like a leper in his own home. So what’s a woman to do?

WIN YOUR HUSBAND BY THE QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE.

In verse 2, Peter mentions purity and reverence. Purity speaks to the moral goodness of your life, and reverence describes your genuine love for the Lord Jesus Christ. The simple power of a godly life will be a thousand times more effective than high-pressure tactics. Is Peter guaranteeing the husband will be saved if you focus on purity and reverence? No. This is a principle not a promise. The husband still has to make the decision for himself. An atmosphere of high-pressure Christianity in your home will never get the job done but an atmosphere of love where the husband sees every day the change Christ has made in your life will. A godly wife who loves her husband is a powerful tool in the hands of the Holy Spirit.

INNER BEAUTY

Peter says, “Your beauty shouldn’t come from outward adornment such as braided hair and the wearing of gold and jewelry and fine clothes. Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.” [1 Peter 3:3-4] Women in those days would sometimes sit at the mirror and spend hours with their hair, weaving gold and silver strands into it, then changing it all around to try something else. Talk about narcissism.

Since these verses can be easily misunderstood, let’s look at this passage in other translations;

Don’t depend on things like fancy hairdos or gold jewelry or expensive clothes to make you look beautiful. Be beautiful in your heart by being gentle and quiet. This kind of beauty will last forever.-The Contemporary English Version.

From the New Living Translation: Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.
Again, I for one am not against the desire for outward beauty. This is neither wrong nor unnatural. Everything God creates has its own sort of beauty. God gave us the desire for beauty and an ability to appreciate it. As Ray Stevens wrote-“Everything is beautiful, in its own way.” I love that song because of the truth it expresses.

The women of the world emphasize outward beauty because they’re empty inside. Their constant changing of styles is a testimony to their bankrupt values.

What makes a Christian woman beautiful? The unfading beauty of a quiet spirit. There’s a lot to ponder in that statement. It’s beauty that doesn’t depend on eye shadow or lip gloss or silk skirts or contact lens or the latest fashion. It’s a beauty that’s just as beautiful when you’re 57 as when you’re 17. It’s unfading and therefore never goes out of style and never has to be replaced.

The “gentle” spirit is one where the Christian woman lives under the control of the Holy Spirit. The word “quiet” is an unusual Greek word that means tranquil or undisturbed, like the surface of a lake on a windless afternoon. It describes a heart that isn’t easily ruffled by the cares and concerns of life.

If the husband is the head of the home, the wife is the heart of the home. She sets the tone for the entire family. She sets the tone by her own spirit. Everyone else resonates to the note she sounds. If the home is peaceful, quiet, restful, it’s because the wife has created that atmosphere. If the home is hectic, loud, disorganized and strident, it’s also because the wife has set that tone by her own spirit.

Obviously Peter isn’t suggesting that women keep quiet around the house. He isn’t describing a weak, shy, timid scared woman. It takes a strong woman to do all women have to do in this world and be able to control her emotions and deal peacefully and gently with people.

I heard a comedian say one time that he hadn’t spoken to his wife for years. He didn’t want to interrupt her. Unfortunately some wives feel they have to be loud and bombastic to accomplish what they want.

Peter leaves a clue to his real meaning at the end of verse 6, when he says that Christian wives are the daughters of Sarah “if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.” The phrase “give way to fear” suggests an emotional state that is easily rattled by problems and quickly alarmed by the “what ifs” of life.

What if things don’t work out?

What if we run out of money?

What if my husband makes a bad decision?

What if I lose my job?

What if our children get sick?

What if we can’t find a place to live?

If you aren’t careful those legitimate questions can become so huge in your mind that they can completely destroy your gentle and quiet spirit. You can give in to fear or you can have a gentle and quiet spirit but you can’t have them both at the same time.

THE EXAMPLE OF INNER BEAUTY

For this is the way holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.-1 Peter 3:5-6.

Peter takes us back to the book of Genesis, to the story of Abraham and Sarah. From the life of Sarah he picks up one point; she called her husband “master” or “Lord.” Of course she wasn’t calling her husband Lord in the sense that he was “Lord God.” The Greek word used is kurios which could have also meant “master” or “sir” or “dear husband.” It’s a term of deep abiding respect.

There’s no passage where Sarah directly calls her husband “master” or “sir” or even “my dear husband.” The only reference to this term comes from Genesis 18. You will remember that God had promised Abraham that one day he and Sarah would have a son. That promise was made when Abraham was 75 years old and Sarah was 65. By the time we come to Genesis 18, 24 years have passed. Abraham is 99 and Sarah is 89. That’s a problem because both were well past childbearing age. Romans 4:19 says of Abraham, “his body was as good as dead’ and of Sarah, “her womb was also dead.” Now let’s pick up the story in Genesis 18:10-12.

Humanly speaking, Sarah was right. It was impossible. But God had promised a son. Note that even in her doubt; Sarah still calls Abraham “my master.” Note that verse 12 describes what Sarah was thinking as she heard the Lord’s promise. I don’t know if Sarah ever called Abraham “master’ to his face, but it doesn’t matter. She said it in her mind, which reveals her truest feelings. That’s the connection to 1 Peter 3. When old Abe said to Sarah, “let’s go to the tent a little early tonight” she said, “Okay, but I think you’re crazy.” But she went. And the rest is history.

Formula-God/Abraham/Sarah.

A woman has to ask herself; do I believe God can speak to me through my husband? God spoke to Abraham and Abraham believed God. Then Abraham spoke to Sarah and Sarah believed Abraham. Abraham believed God and Sarah believed Abraham. If you want to put it in one sentence: Sarah respected her husband enough to believe that God could speak to her through him. Not that God couldn’t have spoken directly to her; - He could. But in this case He spoke to her though Abraham. When Sarah called him master she was simply respecting him as the head of the home and was indicating that God was free to speak to her through Abraham if that’s what He wanted to do.

Here’s a point of decision every Christian wife must come to: do I believe God is able to speak to me through my husband? If the answer is no, then submission isn’t possible. If the answer is yes, then you can become a true daughter of Abraham.

ABRAHAM AND SARAH- GOOD EXAMPLES

The reason Abraham and Sarah were good examples for Peter to use was that they were both flawed people. They weren’t “plaster saints” who never made any mistakes. Abraham was a world class fibber who lied twice about his wife. Sarah was the one who dreamed up the bad idea of having Abraham sleep with their servant girl Hagar in a shortsighted attempt to help God out. These were imperfect people who nevertheless believed God and trusted each other when it mattered most.

We also know that Sarah was no “plain Jane.” She was a beautiful woman and the Egyptians saw that very clearly. That’s why Abraham lied about her being his sister so they wouldn’t kill him to gain possession of her. Genesis 12:14.

This helps us understand that Peter isn’t trying to put the “kibosh” on outward beauty. But Sarah is commended by the Lord not for her outward beauty but her inner beauty that allowed her to trust her husband in a difficult situation. When she’s willing to believe God and trust her husband her inner beauty shines much brighter.

What is God saying to all of us through this passage? Peter uses the phrase “in the same way” repeated in verse one and also verse seven. He’s pushing us back to the closing verses of chapter two when he admonishes all believers to follow in the steps of Jesus Himself.

Submission isn’t about you or your husband or boss or anyone over you. Submission is about your relationship to God. Jesus entrusted Himself to God and even while dying he had a gentle and quiet spirit. Through His righteous submission to His heavenly father He became our savior.

My next installment talks about the message Peter gives men. If it seems it’s been a little hard on women, Peter’s advice to husbands holds us men’s “feet to the fire,” and shoots straight from the shoulder to us.

A FINAL QUESTION...

Was Jesus beautiful? Isaiah 53: 2 tells us that when He was arrested and beaten He was almost beyond recognition. They beat Him until the skin hung in ribbons down his back. They pushed a crown of thorns on His bloody head and covered Him with a purple robe. It must have been hard to look at Him in that condition.

In Luke 23:46 He bowed His head and said, “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.”

The Father must have looked down from heaven and said, “That’s my beautiful Son.”

Jesus calls each one of us to take up our cross and follow Him. If we want to be like Him there will always be a cross of submission at the end of the road.

We can't skip the cross, but we need not fear or shrink from it.When we are like Jusus our lives will be filled with inner beauty and our prayers will be unhindered.

God will be glorified and the world will see Jesus at work in us.


Blessings,



John