"Me And My Big Mouth"

By John Stallings



…. And he charged him to tell no man. Luke 5:14


I openly confess that a chain saw scares me.

One time I read a story about a man who cut off an arm and half a leg and a finger or two, and it just ruined me for chain saws. I didn’t see the movie “The Texas chain saw massacre” but I heard about it, and it didn’t help me a bit. Everyone from my father to the best carpenters I know have told me that a chain saw can back up on you and chew you up. That’s good enough for me. I have used a saw from time to time in my life under the tutelage of an expert, but can’t say I was ever comfortable doing it. If there is going to be one tool to hate, it seems to me that hating the chain saw makes the most sense.

A chain saw is loud like a dentist drill; it’s hard to control, packing a lot of destructive power. I can’t think of a better description of the tongue. Noisy, hard to control and it cuts things into pieces. Some of us have already been at it today.

People even glorify the tongue's power. Shakespeare was good at the crafted insult and clever barb. In entertainment, we laugh at people with caustic and sardonic wit. People laugh and say, “Doesn’t he have a clever tongue?"The most successful comedians are the ones with the most cutting, sarcastic edge. Though I’m much older now, I can remember like it was yesterday many hurtful things that were said to me as a child.

What hurts me much worse is the fact that there are people who remember hurtful things I’ve said to them. The damage we do with these tongues is terrible.Thus the title of this piece...Me and my big mouth.

LET’S LOOK AT TEN PRINCIPLES ABOUT THE TONGUE AND THE WORDS WE USE.


1. WORDS ARE SYMPTOMS OF A DEEPER CONDITION.

Words reveal what’s inside us. The activity of my tongue reveals the state of my heart. None of us wants to believe this but it’s true. We often say “I didn’t really mean that, it just slipped out.” Right! The truth is; that’s exactly what I meant. Like a chain saw, we massacre our friends with our tongues then, ashamed of the bloodshed, we say, “Wow, I guess my tongue got away from me didn’t it.” The reason we’re embarrassed is that our words have lifted the blinds on who we really are inside, and it’s not a pretty sight. When I gossip, it’s because I love gossip. When I lie, I display a deceptive heart. My words are windows into the state of my soul. Or to use an old saying, “What’s down in the well comes up in the bucket.”

I don’t hold Sigmund Freud in high esteem, but I think he had one thing right when he told us about the slips of the tongue we now call “Freudian Slips”. He believed that many of our slips of the tongue weren’t slips at all, but windows into what’s really going on inside.

In Matthew 12:34-37, Jesus really delivers the bad news to us;

….For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things. But I say unto you, that every idle word that men speak, they shall give account therof in the day of judgement. For by thy words thou shalt be justified and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.

2. WE SHOULD USE WORDS SPARINGLY.

Proverbs 10:19 says,... In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.---James 5:12 says… But let your yea be yea, and your nay be nay.

In other words, the more words we use the more likely we are to get into trouble.

The positive value of words is magnified when we use words sparingly. Do you know what would happen if the government started printing and releasing huge quantities of dollars and handing them out? We wouldn’t be richer. The result would be inflation—dollars would lose their value. [sadly, this is happening now.] Words are also subject to inflation. When we talk incessantly, people stop listening.

THE CHAIRMAN OF THE FEDERAL RESERVE IS A GOOD MODEL

The chairman of America's Federal Reserve has to be extraordinarily careful what he says, because investors pay attention to every word. One careless word from him can send markets around the world up or down. In the early eighties, a Florida stock market analyst caused a panic on Wall Street by sending out one word to his mailing list; SELL. Our aim should be to make every word count for good. We should treat words as a precious resource and use then sparingly.

There are times when God has a message he wants delivered and he calls on men and women to be his mouthpiece. There are other times when God does things secretly for reasons we can really only surmise; but we should take a lesson.

3. WHEN YOU KNOW YOU HAVE GOD'S FAVOR, IT'S BEST TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT ABOUT IT.

The first 13 chapters of Genesis cover’s a period of two thousand years. The last 13 chapters of Genesis deal with one man’s life and that man is Joseph. His life spanned only one-hundred and ten years. First God uses 13 chapters to cover two thousand years; then he uses 13 chapters to cover one-hundred ten years. That tells me that God strongly suggests we take a careful look at Joseph and study his life.

When young Joseph, dressed in the snazzy sport coat that his dad had given him, started telling dreams of his future dominion and greatness to his brothers, he was on dangerous grounds, and it almost cost him his life.

Later in Joseph’s life, God illustrated how this principle works. When Joseph was in jail in Egypt for thirteen years, God was working on a plan that would affect much of the world. Had the leaders under Pharaoh known that one day Joseph would come out of the prison and control the whole treasury of the land, second only to Pharaoh himself, its almost certain that they would have had him killed. He would never have seen daylight again. Not even Pharaoh knew what he was going to do in promoting Joseph until he’d done it. God can be very secretive.

When you and I have God's favor, we won’t have to tell people anyway; it will be so obvious, everyone can see it.

4. WORDS SHOULD BE SPOKEN SOFTLY AND KINDLY.

Proverbs 15:1-2 says, A gentle answer turneth away wrath but harsh words stir up anger.

I’m going to give you three statements and ask you to tell me what they all have in common.

# One. A schoolteacher speaks out in class to one of her sleepy ten year old students and says, “Joey, wake up back there or you’re going to fail this course. I know your mother and Dad have been having drinking and quarrelling lately at night and you’ve not been able to get much rest, but you have to stay awake and start listening.”

# Two. A doctor is at a party and as he sips a glass of wine he blurts out for all to hear, “You people all know Mrs. Jones, right? Well she wouldn’t sleep so well tonight if she knew what I know. We just got her tests back and it looks like cancer to me.”

# Three. A Pastor who’s chairing his church annual business meeting speaks to his church folk, “Folks, brother Jones and his wife are having serious martial problems and it looks like they’re getting a divorce so he’s withdrawn his name to be voted on as Deacon this year.”

What do these statements have in common?

They may be {are} true but any person with any heart at all would agree that to say those things publicly would be terribly heartless. These words aren’t kind. The people who said these things could never excuse themselves by saying, “well, it’s true.” It may all be true, but any intelligent person would say, “yes, but your truth telling is totally out of place and inappropriate and what you’ve done is cruel and thoughtless.” We feel in our hearts that a person at least should be given some modicum of right to privacy. Or do we?

5. WE MUST BE CAREFUL NOT TO USE WORDS AS WEAPONS.

Words have a potential for much goodness but conversely they also can be like containers of poisonous gas, and though we often take what we say lightly, God never does.

Have you ever noticed when you were out in public that you can hear a person talking angrily to someone, that it makes you feel terrible, even though the words weren’t spoken to you? Angry words spoken within earshot of you can cause your food to lose its appeal.

A stinging word is like a bullet, it leaves an impact on everything it hits. I know I'm mixing metaphors here but it also feels like being bitten, only it's an emotional bite. I know I've mentioned it a lot in my blogs but I've been flabbergasted, especially over the last year or two at how many famous people; actors, politicians and others have actually shot themselves out of the saddle with their words. Its like - something they've said comes to light one day and the next day they're gone-"and are going to be spending more time with their family." We all make mistakes with our tongue but sometimes I think we should write our elected officials and remind them to brush-up on the book of James once in a while.

Does this routine sound familiar?

HE- Hi honey, I’m home.
SHE- Did you remember to buy milk?
HE- I didn’t know we needed milk.
SHE- But I asked you to get milk.
HE- You never said a thing about milk.
SHE- Well you weren’t listening then. You knew we were out.
I can’t do everything you know.
HE- You don’t have to yell at me.
SHE- I’m not yelling.
HE- You are too yelling. Listen to yourself.
SHE- Well if I’m yelling it’s because you’re yelling.
HE- I never once yelled.

Now you’ve got a fight going. Right about this time, if either of these two people has a relative who’s been to jail, it’s coming out. All the living members of their respective families are fair game now and maybe a few people will even be brought back from the grave to be used as exhibits. Satellites start hooking up in space and begin to hum as the memory banks of both these people are ransacked, looking for material to use on each other. Incidentally, they will both lose.

I have used words on people that were carefully crafted to go straight to their heart and sting. I am ashamed to say it, but there is no one that will read this that doesn’t know exactly what I’m talking about. We do it all too often and we do it most to the ones we love best. Every one of us has been on the giving and the receiving end of this kind of cruelty.

So how do we stop the bloodletting? We must be spirit controlled and constantly be guarding the chain saw inside our mouths, and in case of any doubt, keep the thing turned off. God set it behind two rows of teeth and between two powerful jaws for a reason. James said the tongue is a force that can be set on fire of hell. The tongue may be small, but like the little kindling used to start a fire, it has power to destroy. As a matter of fact, it’s almost impossible to start a fire with large pieces of wood.

Proverbs 25:15 says, Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle word can break bones.

6. OUR WORDS MUST ALWAYS BE THE TRUTH.

The truth is a precious commodity. Our CIA knows this and will spend vast amounts of money to get truthful information about the world so we can make decisions on a solid foundation. But our CIA also spends much money and energy spreading inaccurate information about our country. Why; because lies are a deadly weapon.

One of the worst uses of the tongue is to lie. When I lie to you, I’m robbing you of information you need to live wisely. Proverbs 6:17 says that a lying tongue is disgusting to God. He hates lies. I haven’t heard it lately but when I was a kid they used to say, “you can lock up from a thief but you can’t lock up from a liar.”

Paul says in Ephesians 4; 29, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying that it may minister Grace unto the hearers.”
Paul is saying here that a thing has to be more than merely true, it has to be edifying. And then Paul goes on to say something else that is somewhat shocking. He says our words must be “ministers of grace.” With an ocean of ink and a thousand word processors and four lifetimes, we might start to scratch the surface on that subject.

7. WE SOMETIMES TELL LIES USING THE TRUTH.

I once pastored a lady who would never tell a lie. She was a wonderful lady. I never heard her say an unkind word to anyone. She loved and encouraged people. But she had one weakness—prayer requests. In her prayer requests she told on her husband who was a drinking man. We in the church knew all about his foibles. We got a running update every service. She loved to pass on her prayer requests and she did so often and in great quantity. This lady constantly spilled the beans on everyone in her life; friends, neighbors and relatives, and it was all done under the guise of prayer requests.

She didn’t really intend to harm anyone-and she certainly didn’t think of herself as a gossip. All her talking was in her sharing all of her prayer requests. Also, she loved details about other people’s prayer requests. I often heard her say, “Give me the details so I’ll know how to pray.” Once I can remember telling her how to formulate a prayer without having all the gory details. I never made a dent on her. She was God's prayer request Doberman and she "wasn’t going to let the devil stop her."

Gossip and slander often disguise themselves as concern, seeking advice, asking for prayer and unloading, but the big Elephant in the living room is just talking too much.

A simple rule; when you know someone is facing difficulties, talk with the person, and talk to God. There is almost never a need to talk to anyone else.


8. WE GOSSIP IN THE NAME OF PSYCHOLOGICAL HEALTH.

Many people are being encouraged to “Be completely honest and truthful about their feelings.” They are told by numb skull advisers that if you don’t spill out all the things inside you, you’ll be warped. Many times I’ve cringed when I heard the words, “I’m just going to be honest.” I can never remember those words being followed by anything good. They use words like “I don’t want to hurt you; I just have to be honest about my feelings.” Under the cowardly cloak of “pseudo-honesty” they slander their parents their spouses and friends. This isn’t what it means to speak truthfully. This is just an excuse to even scores with people, and to dump all of the trash and wickedness of our hearts out onto others. It’s a two-edged sword that at one and the same time appears spiritual, sharing their hurt, while slapping someone else in the face that was the real target anyway. And most tragic; often the people they dump it on aren’t strong enough emotionally to carry it and end up weaker.

## Don’t let “truth telling” become an excuse to dishonor parents or hurt other people by unloading your feelings.
Could it be that we are so vindictive that we want to hurt someone without being held accountable for the assault? After all, if we walked up to the person we wish to hurt and punched them in the face, we’d be jailed for it. So how can we do it without having to account for it? Oh yes, here’s a way to get-em; we can go public by being “painfully honest” and enlisting “ prayer- support.”

9. LETS DON’T FORGET! --A CHAIN SAW CAN BE A USEFUL TOOL.

The tongue has awesome power for good. If I were trapped under a fallen tree, the sound of a chain saw, as much as I fear them, would be music to my ears. Proverbs 18:21 says …The tongue has the power of life or death.
Kind words are among the most loving things human beings can give one another. Words can build up a person’s confidence and make them winners in life. It was said of Napoleon that half of what he accomplished was done with words.

If we allow our tongues to go on automatic pilot, they can simply revert to the old habits of gossip and lies. The antidote is to keep the tongue busy with words of blessing, praise, appreciation, forgiveness and apology. In I Corinthians 13:11 Paul tells us that one of the earmarks of a child is the way they speak. Children have no filter and will say just about anything that comes to mind. You can also identify spiritual babies that way. There are some things that a grown-up will never say in a million years, if it takes biting their tongues 24/7.

If we’re honest, most of us will admit we’ve been hurt with words in the last 24 hours. The wounds may still be fresh. The people we live with and work around aren’t always nice and polite to us. They yell at us, curse and insult us.

But it’s our calling as Christians to return blessings for curses—to return kind words for harsh ones. You can be an enormous influence for healing in your world if you simply accept it as your calling to exchange blessings for curses.

10. OUR TONGUE PROBLEMS MUST BE DEALT WITH AT THE CROSS.

I first need a change of heart. I can’t do that on my own. We must come to the foot of the cross and experience God’s grace and get a new nature. God gives us a new nature and a new heart and he also gives us the Holy Spirit. It then becomes our lifelong challenge to daily put the old nature to death and live according to our new nature. We all have an evil twin who likes to rattle on and on. The apostle Paul had his, and you can read about it in Romans 7.The tongue problem is just like a substance abuse problem, and when you catch yourself falling into old patterns, don’t feel alone. Just deal with it and keep on dealing with it but never "do a deal" with it.

#May God deliver us from cowardice, that dare not face the truth,

#Laziness, content with knowing half the truth,

#And arrogance that thinks it has all the truth.

May He deliver us from rudeness,
Cynicism about each other,
Intolerance and cruel indifference.

And may we all pray with David,


SET A WATCH O LORD, BEFORE MY MOUTH, KEEP THE DOOR OF MY LIPS. PSALM 141:3.

Blessings,

John

"Love Grew Where the Blood Fell " with "It Is Finished"

All Stressed Up And Nowhere To Go

By John Stallings


Did you know that pilots who fly off aircraft carriers have a higher cholesterol level than their pals who stay on deck though they eat at the same table? It’s true.

 The extra stress they’re under causes their cholesterol to be higher.

Here’s a conundrum; though cholesterol is tagged by experts as the major cause of strokes & heart attacks, a large percentage of people who die suddenly from heart attacks have a surprisingly low cholesterol level? You can check that out on Google.

So what am I saying? I’m saying, though it wouldn’t be wise to eat unhealthy foods, overdo it on the beef, & never exercise, the big killer is stress. Here are a few Biblical answers I offer to us all to stave off the terrible effects of stress, taken from Proverbs 15:13-22;

1. Learn to laugh.—

Never be ashamed of your sense of humor. Studies have shown that people with a well developed sense of humor are almost always highly intelligent. Sounds good huh?

 I came by my zaniness honestly. As my grandmother on my dad’s side lay on her death bed, fading in & out of consciousness, she said (my parents tell me she had a little grin on her face as she spoke) “I see an elevator that has parked at the foot of my bed. The doors have opened & two angels are coming, one on each side of my bed. In a moment they’re going to lift me up & take me to the elevator & push the button & we’re going up.” She paused a few seconds & with the little grin still very evident she said her very last words; “I sure do hope they don’t push the wrong button.”

 The Bible says “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” For those who have a tragic view of life, God bless you, but know that God will forgive you if you forget & laugh once in a while.

By the way, only man can laugh, blush & cry. Animals can have highs & lows but they never do the aforementioned things, that’s reserved for the highest of God’s creatures. You never had to teach a child to laugh, did you?

2. Cultivate contentment.

In Proverbs 15:17 we see two homes depicted. One is eating a veggie meal with smiles & contentment while the other is eating a smoking roast but they’re all mad at each other. I don’t know about you but I’d rather be in Alabama with a banjo on my knee than live in a home where everyone is unhappy. There’s a table filled with nervous people with a lady at the end of the table with a face like a hatchet making cutting remarks to everyone. I don’t think the Bible means to imply that rich people are always miserable but I will say...

I’d rather be with a person worth a million who doesn’t have a cent than to be an individual who has a million dollars & isn’t worth a cent. Read 2 Timothy to find out what God thinks of those who put money above everything else. The next way to eliminate stress is;

3. Eliminate anger. ---V. 18

To be stress free we must have anger under control. Proverbs 15:1 says—

A soft answer turneth away wrath but grievous words stir up anger.

You may say; “I can’t control my anger.” But if you’re in the midst of a tirade, screaming to the top of your voice & the phone rings, what do you do? You answer the phone in the sweetest voice you have, like you’re talking to a furry little kitten. Am I right? O yes, we’ll present ourselves on the phone as harmless little fuzz-balls. So you see, we can control our anger when we want to.

A few years ago I lost perhaps my favorite first cousin. He was only fifty years of age but he had an awful temper. His business was exploding in Atlanta Georgia & the day he died he’d just ordered his wife a Cadillac to match his.

He sat at his swanky desk in his plush new office & conversed with a man who was installing a new sprinkler system in the lawn of his lovely new home. The man told him that his tractor had just run over one of the pipes he had installed so the job would take a little longer. My cousin became so angry that he dropped his head on his desk & died with a massive heart attack. Today his widow has taken that business & made herself a wealthy woman & has since remarried but my cousin is in the graveyard because he couldn’t eliminate his anger. The next way to beat stress is to;

4. Walk in wisdom. V. 21-22

To be deeply stressed is to admit you’ve forsaken God’s wisdom. Why attack people when you can attack problems instead?

A lady told me the other day that she had told her son what she really felt & about some things in his family & she wondered why things weren’t the same with him. As she talked with me, I learned that she had told him in one conversation that he talked too much & that his kids weren’t as respectful to elders as they should be. On & on she went telling her grown son what she thought. I had to be honest so I suggested to her that she’d gone into the conversation right but wrongly broadened it to include too many issues & too much material. She looked at me extremely puzzled & simply couldn’t understand what I meant. I asked her if she’d ever ridden on an elevator & she of course said she had. I asked if she’d read the printed materials that told how much of a load the elevator could safely hold. Of course she had but it still didn’t dawn on her what I was trying to say.

Here is was in a nutshell; didn’t she ever stop to think that in one conversation she was overloading her son? As soon as I used the word “overload” she gasped-“Oh God!!” Why did it take a country preached like me to say something so simple & turn on the lights in this good, highly educated woman’s mind? She hadn’t stopped to think that since she had gotten by O.K with telling her son he talked too much, she shouldn’t push her luck & try to “throw the book at him.” Her pride got all pumped-up with her first success but she didn’t stop to think that human beings have a low tolerance for being criticized. When somebody opens the floodgates on us we get the feeling that nothing is right with us-- so what’s the use? She simply wasn’t walking in wisdom. As she left she retorted, “I’m so glad I spoke to you.” I thought as she left, “lady so am I. Now with a simple little key of wisdom maybe you can go make things better & less stressful for you & your family.”

A guitar string or any stringed instrument needs its strings tuned by putting just the right amount of pressure on them. Without some pressure they can’t bring forth the beautiful music they were designed to produce. But if too much stress is put on the delicate strings, they’ll break. Then there’s no music at all.

 One thing we should all keep in mind about stress where our lives are concerned;-THERE IS A BREAKING POINT!!!


Blessings,


John

"Spots In Your Love Feast..."

By John Stallings


HEY JUDE!

Jude, a brother of Jesus, was a magnificent writer. He had a way with words, & was especially the master of metaphor. He doesn’t just tell you something, he paints a word picture. I wish I could have heard him preach.Jude must have looked a lot like Jesus because Mary & Joseph were also his parents. Maybe he even sounded something like Jesus when he spoke. The same Galilean accent; the same mannerisms. Jesus drew word pictures with parables.

Jude did it with short phrases that were rich in texture & in meaning.In verses 12-13, Jude says some very interesting things.

JUDE CONTRASTS “AUTHENTIC CHRISTIANITY” WITH “SYNTHETIC CHRISTIANITY.”

If you were to ask the average Christian today what a church meeting was like in the days of the apostles, you’d probably get difference answers. A Charismatic person would feel that the early church service consisted of singing & preaching & the exercise of the gifts of the Spirit, & they’d be partially correct.Many other people would no doubt believe the early church services were mostly a celebration, featuring the Lord’s Supper & the symbolic elements of bread & wine. They also would be partially right.

This may shock you but a dominate part of the worship of those early Christians was centered around a meal! That’s right—a meal! The early Christians referred to this meal as the “agape meal” or love feast. What happened to this meal? Well; it fell through the cracks over time for various & sundry reasons.Jude explains that counterfeit Christians had infiltrated his church.

First he says; These are spots in your love feasts, while they feast with you without fear, serving only themselves.What is Jude talking about here? What does…spots in your love feast… mean?The love feast would be equivalent to our covered dish suppers. They would combine these meals with The Lord’s Supper. The early church didn’t just meet for an hour or so, they got together & worshipped & ate together. They called these “Love feasts” because they were characterized by Christian fellowship & love.

The problem with these love feasts was that some who came didn’t exhibit love. Sound familiar? These people came in their sin, with raunchy attitudes, with no intention of repenting thereby spurning the gracious love of God.Paul was dealing with these types when he talked to the Corinthians. He talks to them about the divisions & factions that were destroying the unity of the church. With Paul & with Jude, people were actually coming to the love feast early & eating all the food.

So when the late folk came after long days of work there was no food left. The early-birds had stuffed themselves with food & wine & some were lying around “three sheets in the wind.”In Jude’s church there were “spots in your love feast…serving only themselves.Christianity has two distinct groups; those who are authentic & serve God, & those who are synthetic & serve only themselves.

HAVE YOU EVER HEAR ANYONE SAY- “I STOPPED GOING TO CHURCH BECAUSE I WASN’T GETTING ANYTHING OUT OF IT?”

Certainly a church should be a feeding station where we can get our souls fed. But there’s a fine line between- “I wasn’t getting anything out of it,” & “I go where I can get the most for my money.” Or “I’m looking for the best show in town.” The bottom line is; True Christianity is about true love. Everything else is just the surface appearance of Christianity.

Listen to Pastor James;Pure religion & undefiled before God & the Father is this, to visit the fatherless & widows in their affliction & to keep himself UNSPOTTED from the world.—James 1:27.

Have you ever considered that a church service is a lot like the old schools sixty or seventy years ago, when one classroom had grades one through twelve? I don’t know how those teachers did it because they had to see to it that each of those grade-levels were challenged & taught helpful lessons.When a church meets, the same thing is happening on a spiritual level. The pastors & teachers have to literally have something for everybody. One of the old time preachers put it this way; “There are spiritual Giraffes & spiritual Chihuahuas in every service.” This makes it a little difficult for ministry & without the Holy Spirit taking the things of God & revealing them to the people, nothing much would happen.

The next time you go to church, & you aren’t getting what you feel you need, & you feel the message is above your head, think about this; maybe God is looking out for the spiritual Giraffes that day. Or if you feel the Word is too elementary, maybe God is feeding the spiritual Chihuahuas that service.Jude uses other metaphors to describe these folk who are serving self only but I want to stick with the love metaphor here.There are several different kinds of love. There’s romantic love, family love, brotherly love & Agape love.AGAPE LOVE. John uses agape love in 1 John 4:7-11;

Beloved let us love one another; for love is of God and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.He that loveth not knoweth not God for God is love. In this was manifest the love of God toward us because that God sent His only begotten son into the world that we might live through Him……beloved if God so loved us we ought also to love one another.

John does a great job here of teaching us about agape love. He tells us that as Christians we should be exhibiting agape love. He tells us where Agape love comes from; he tells us what it looks like & shows us if we have this kind of love we’ll be a blessing to others.But here’s the kicker; you & I aren’t actually capable of this kind of love. It isn’t going to happen. That is- in our own strength. We can’t love like that. As humans we’re just incapable. So in short John is asking us to do something we can’t do. You don’t have agape love & I don’t have agape love. We can produce family love & brotherly love & romantic love but we can’t produce agape love. It’s beyond humans to have sacrificial, God-like agape love.

The Beatles sang—All you need is love…& then they broke up. So how are we to fulfill this mandate to love—agape—others? John tells us that if we are born of God we know Him. That means to intimately know Him. If you & I are true believers who’ve committed our lives to Christ, then we know God.

AGAPE LOVE IS BEYOND OUR PAY GRADE

Do you remember the “pot-bellied” craze a few years ago when people were spending hundreds of dollars to own one of those exotic house pets imported from Vietnam? Well, this craze started when breeders of these particular animals claimed that these mini-pigs were very smart & that they would only grow to a weight of 40 lbs. For some reason people loved the idea of a smart mini-pig running around the house because thousands of these pigs were sold.Well it turned out the breeders were only half-right. The pigs were smart. Some could even be trained to walk on leashes & use litter boxes.

But they often grew to be as much as 150 lbs or more! I heard of one that grew to weigh 250 lbs & when the truth came out, as the pigs grew older they could become openly aggressive-not at all pet-like.So what did the people do with their unwanted pot-bellied pigs? Fortunately, according to U.S News & World Report, a man named Dale Riffle came to the rescue. Dale was given a pig as a gift & he fell in love with it—even though it never learned to use its litter-box & developed a tendency to eat carpet, wall paper, & dry wall.

Dale loved his pig so much that he sold his suburban home & moved with his pig to a 5-acre farm in West Virginia…& then he started taking in unwanted pigs. Before long the guy was living in “Hog heaven.”

When the article was written Dale had 180 pig residents on his farm enjoying a luxurious lifestyle! The little porkers snooze on a bed of pine shavings & wallow in mud puddles. They wait in line for one of Dale’s belly-rubs. These little rascals never fear that they’ll someday become bacon or pork chops. Not surprising, there’s a waiting list for unwanted pigs to get a hoof in the door at Dale’s ranch. At last report none of the pigs had ever had lipstick put on them which is comforting to know. In Dales’ own words; “We’re all put on earth for some reason & I guess pigs are my lot in life.”

It seems strange to me that anyone would fall so in love with pigs, especially if they were in their right mind.But let’s be frank; isn’t it even more amazing that a perfectly holy God is passionately in love with we who are so imperfect, so openly rebellious & frequently indifferent?Listen to the way God describes & paints the human race in...

 Romans 3:10-17;

There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. All have turned away; they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one. Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit. The poison of vipers is on their lips. Their mouths are full of cursing & bitterness. Their feet are swift to shed blood; ruin & misery mark their ways & the way of peace they do not know.

All of us are flawed because of sin but God loves us anyway. Isaiah says our goodness is like filthy rages compared to a holy God.1 John 3:1 says;-

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!

Friend, you & I are utterly unable to generate agape in ourselves. The only way that happens is to be regenerated & born again. When we’re born again, then we have the ability to have this agape love because then we know Christ in an intimate way. Turn it around & it sounds like this; if we don’t have agape love it’s because we don’t know God. John tells us- if we don’t have this agape, sacrificial love, then we don’t know God.

Let me put it in question form; how can we have “the God kind of love, & love others in the way God loves us, if we don’t know God?

How can I do calculus if I don’t know calculus?

How can I speak Portuguese if I don’t know Portuguese?

How can I fly a plane if I don’t know how to fly?

How can I have agape love if I don’t know God who is the essence of that love?God then agape love isn’t within my personal universe.An individual can’t be an agape-loving -person unless they’ve been taken hold of by God & transformed into a loving person. That clears up a lot of things doesn’t it? Have you ever wondered why someone had no love? There’s’ your answer. They don’t know God, thus they can’t have agape love. John doesn’t go into detail about how this happens he just let’s us Know it’s a “God thing” & when we get straightened out with God this loves just comes. John can’t explain it & I certainly can’t because it boggles the human mind. All we know is when we know God He works in us in such a way that we can agape like He agapes. And when this love comes to us, it won’t come as a philosophy, it will come as a force, a living, practical force that we are to live out day by day.

If Jesus said “I feel for you” that would be Sensitivity.

If Jesus said “your sin is illogical” that would be Rational.

If Jesus said “Only bad people sin,” that would be Judgmental.

If Jesus said “Tell me about your problems” that would be Therapy.

If Jesus said “You should have seen it coming” that would be Pity.

If Jesus said, “Relax & try not to think about your failures” that would be Meditative.

If Jesus said “Don’t worry about your sins, things will get better” that would have been blind Optimism.

But Jesus said, “Take my hand & let me pull you out of your sin & forgive you. That’s Agape Love!

HERE’S ANOTHER SURPRISE…

If you looked at John’s language structure in this passage, it would be logical for him to say this; - “since God has loved us with this agape love, then we ought to love Him.” But John doesn’t say that. He says,--Since God loves us with agape love, then we should love one another with agape love. God’s agape is what enables us to agape.The more you & I experience God & walk with him in intimate fellowship, the greater our ability to agape others. The more of God I have the more agape I will have with which to love others.

So what I want to do is experience God as much & as closely as possible, because that’s where I get my power to agape love people. How do I build up my agape love level? I experience God. How do I experience God? By spending more time in His presence. What kinds of things bring me into this intimate fellowship with God? Worship, prayer, Bible study & quite time so that I can take on more of the reflection of God.

Friend, I want to encourage you, if you’re not already doing it, to add a time of quiet each day with God. Over the years I’ve found that this time of closeness where I can press into God & listen to Him as He speaks, has been perhaps the most healing thing in my life. I have found that this & only this gives me a growing ability to love that I just don’t naturally possess.

In verse 12, John says God’s love is perfected or completed in us.Do you have a sense of emptiness in any area of your life? Is there something that eats at you or something that’s missing & you just cant put your finger on it?

In time, as you draw nearer & nearer to God, He’ll make those things that are stressing you now irrelevant. He’ll take the things that seem to be missing & make them inapplicable. How? In the ever increasing experience of the agape love of God, all things pale in comparison.Here is what God envisions for you & me;

….That He might present to Himself a glorious church, without SPOT or wrinkle or any such things; but that it should be holy & without blemish.


Blessings,


John

Attitude Is Everything

By John Stallings

In the spiritual life, attitude is everything.
We need to learn to be rigorously honest in discerning our heart attitudes. Certainly we know a critical, fault- finding heart is not healthy for us, spiritually or physically.

Attitudes are -inner feelings that wiggle to the surface and express themselves in actions.

Attitude will ultimately manifest outwardly in words, body language, and a myriad of other ways.

Arms crossed tightly across chest, facial expressions, eye rolls, throat clearing, patting the foot impatiently are just a few subtle indicators of attitude. Oh, and the eyes. Let’s not forget the eyes. Breathes there a person who can’t remember “the look” their mother used to give them when they were children when she was displeased? When we men get married we find that our spouses can give us that same look. I’ve often suspected that somewhere they’re holding classes for women called “The Look 101.” Every married man has seen that look and it sends cold chills down the spine, though to be frank, we men know in our hearts when we get that look we probably richly deserve it.

Speaking of body language, many times I’ve sat on church platforms and seen couples sitting in the congregation with their legs crossed, -their body pointed away from their spouse. Often this is indicative of maybe a little “lovers quarrel” on the way to church. Attitudes [inner feelings] will always bubble up and manifest in some overt way.

A resentful, critical attitude is just like a toxic waste. If we’re going to try and handle such volatile material, then we better take every precaution. Such hazardous material is known to cause cancer. Everyone needs a regular thorough detox from bad attitudes if we’re to stay ahead of the problem, and it’s crucial that we be very thorough in our dealing with attitudes such as anger, resentment, cynicism and criticalness.

Many of us are hardest on the people who’re closest to us. Husbands are hard on their wives. Wives mercilessly criticize their husbands. Parents tear down their children and strip away every vestige of self-esteem. Friends attack friends, Christians criticize each other, and many families are held together by the glue of mutual disdain. Why is it that we are so hard on those we say we love the most? But if a person we don’t know offends us, we’re quick to let him off the hook. It makes no sense.

Christian love is not blind. God never says, “Ignore the faults of others.” But he does say, “Take care of your own faults first.” Look in the mirror! Ask God to show you your own sins. The familiar words of Psalm 139:23-24 come to mind:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”

If we would pray that way and mean it, we would do a lot more confessing and a lot less judging.

The order in which we do things is crucial. We are to judge ourselves first by asking God to show us our sins. We sit and wait and pray for the Holy Spirit to show us our weaknesses, our faults, our mistakes, our bad attitudes, our foolish words, our pride, our arrogance, our need to be in control, our need to run the world, our need to tell others what to do, our desire to have our own way, our anger, our bitterness, our lack of mercy, our lack of love, our lack of compassion. I can tell you from personal experience, if you wait long enough, the Lord will always show it to you.

THE ELDER BROTHER

I don’t think there’s a more perfect picture of a bad attitude in the Bible than the prodigal's whining elder brother. This party-pooper was so full of resentment toward his prodigal brother that it’s downright embarrassing.

I confess that I see in myself much that reminds me of the prodigal's elder brother. I have not lived a life of rebellion or moral abandon. I came to Jesus at an early age, began living for Him in earnest as a teen, and have sought to stay true to Him to this day. Don't misunderstand me. I am just as much a sinner as the most profligate prodigal - no difference. And my steady pursuit of Christ has not kept me from presenting a pitiful picture of what it means to be His follower on occasions without number. Despite my failures, flaws, and growing pains along the way, however, I’m a fair example of the classic "good kid."

So when I see the prodigal's descent into the depths of loose living, I can't identify. But when I hear his brother protesting, “Look! For so many years I have been serving you and I have never neglected a command of yours” [Luke 15:29], I hear in his words the voice of my own dissenting heart. I have expressed words like his, words of disappointment in God for His seeming lack of appreciation.

There are prodigals and there are prodigal's brothers. Though we’ve focused mostly on the Prodigal who left home, if we look at the context in which Jesus told this story, taking nothing away from the wayward son, it’s clear that he had the elder brother in mind.

The prodigal's obstacle is his sense of unworthiness to lay claim to the heart of his father. The obstacle of the prodigal's brother is his sense of entitlement, an insistence upon God's approval for his faithfulness. In its advanced stages, "Prodigal's Brother Disease" (PBD) can rob an individual of their joy. We can become a spiritual scrooge who mutters "Bah, humbug" on occasion.

Are you a prodigal's brother? Then the antidote is to serve without strings before it robs you of joy. Stay faithful to God without getting sucked into thinking that God owes you recognition. Your faithfulness matters. Never forget what Jesus says to the prodigal's brother,

“And he said to him, ‘Son, you have always been with me, and all that is mine is yours’”

There are many things in which you and I must take the lead, depending on God’s Holy Spirit to help. Paul didn’t say, [I’m paraphrasing here] “I used to speak, act and understand like a child but when I was converted, God just took all my juvenile ways away from me. “ No-Paul said, “When I became a man, “I put away childish things.” Paul didn’t say, “I used to have a problem with discontent. I was rarely happy except in really great circumstances. But one day I got a supernatural revelation on how to be content.” No-Paul said, “For I have learned to be content in whatever circumstance I find myself in.”

Instead of you and I saying, “I’ve never had a problem with anger, criticalness, jealousy, resentment, unforgiveness, or any of those old bad attitudes,” we need to say rather, “I’m on a daily quest to be more Christ like and He’s giving me more and more power to discern and root out the B.A [bad attitudes] the devil would like to slip into my heart.” This clears the way for God to infuse more of His Holy Spirit power in us.

Jesus is very clear when he says. “Do not judge. Instead take the log out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

We shouldn’t appraise another person’s character unless they reveal their character to us voluntarily. In reality there’s no positive reason to criticize others. But the fact is because of our fallen nature, we’re pretty much all very critical creatures. Without God and His daily dealings with us, we’re all by nature -not very nice people.

Nowadays it’s almost impossible to dialogue with Christians about things political. We know we can’t allow vitriol to exist in our hearts about fellow Christians, but when it comes to politics; we can make up for it by venting our wrath on Politicians or Parties. It’s common to see Christians who’re highly critical of people with whom they differ politically.

I’m not advocating here against open and opinionated political conversations, where we freely and articulately make our views known to whomever, whenever, wherever. A thousand times no!! I often vent publicly on political subjects, and make no apology for it. I do however believe that as Christians, we should beware lest we get so caught up in a battle and a conflict with the folk with whom we disagree that we can develop resentments and judgments that are very unhealthy spiritually.

IMHO, it’s far better to leave off political pontificating when we get to the place that when someone speaks from another viewpoint, there’s virtually no ability to actually hear them. This stems from a critical spirit. It’s a wrong attitude and it quenches the power of God in the Christian’s life. This “devise of the Devil” masquerading as patriotism can rip apart nations, families, churches and even marriages. In other words, speak your mind- Good. Get on a high-horse until every dog on the block is barking, bad.

Another example can be the “small church, large church” syndrome. Christians can get so entrenched in one of the above; it’s hard for them to feel at home in the other. This unease is a critical spirit. In truth, if the gospel is preached, we ought to rejoice. The same thing applies with the “Old-church-Contemporary church” syndrome.

So what do we do? We take thorough stock of our critical heart. We learn to turn our eyes from focusing on the speck in our brother’s eye to the log in our own.

We should immerse ourselves in the teachings of Christ until we understand that any criticalness, unforgiveness, anger, desire to expose, loveless ness, resentment etc. can constitute a spiritual disease that places us in spiritual danger. Don’t, like the Rich Young Ruler, turn away sad in the first rudimentary Christianity 101 class that Jesus gives us. He’s our leader; we need to learn to take spiritual direction from Him. If we take His direction and allow ourselves to be changed by His words and if we respond in a healthy way, then we will find the power we so desperately need.

MAKE A LIST

The following would be helpful. Make a list of all the people you resent or are critical of. Maybe you already do this. I’ve done it for years and still do. The first list I made years ago, I found that the list had over 100 names on it. I was horrified. It seemed I was critical of everyone. The whole world. All political parties. All denominations. Most of my friends. My family. My extended family. My college roommates. Kids from grade school. Members of my church. My kids. My parents. My parent’s old friends. My old friends. My old friend’s parents. My old friend’s brothers and sisters. The English. The French. The Germans. Pentecostals. Conservatives. Liberals. The elders of the church. The deacons. My mentor. My superiors. My co-workers. My ex-co-workers. Old girlfriends. My sister and her husband. My sister’s friends. Her husband’s friends. Kids from the neighborhood. Musicians. Tone deaf people. Theologies. Men in general. Women in general. My circumstances.

To be painfully honest we can all get mad at the world and find it exceeding easy to get resentful of someone just because they don’t respond the way we think they should.

To have a large list does not mean that frustration with life is the main theme of our character. No one would look at me and say I am an angry person. I’m known as a jovial dude. A “Hail fellow well met.” But for a person killed by cyanide they wouldn't have to take a huge amount of cyanide. A little of this toxic stuff can make us spiritually sick. A little leaven leavens the whole lump. Therefore, we must make sure that even the slightest remnant of frustration or criticalness be dealt with ruthlessly. You may have to just do it every day and every night for awhile.

WHAT DID THEY DO?

After we make our first list (which could take a few hours or a few days), we begin to list what they did that makes us angry or critical. For example, your brother….he didn’t defend me in front of the neighbor kids. Your mom….she divorced your dad. It’s that simple. Do not write a lot of words. Some people greatly err on this point. When we write it all out, we’re venting. Venting only teaches us to be angry. As a rule do not write more than 10 words on an instance. You may break down and weep just thinking about the injustice of it all. This is normal. But I warn against writing a lot about why you are angry on a certain point.

Writing a long dissertation is usually just rationalizing why you are angry as if we’re trying to find some reason to stay angry. We are not trying to stay sore. Also, for some people say like a spouse, we may have many lines of things we are critical of or bent-out-of-shape about. Also when writing about a spouse you might consider a code.

EXAMPLES

My wife…she gets angry when I go golfing.

My husband….he watches too much TV

My wife….she shows disrespect in front of the kids

My husband…he spends too much money. He bought this…

Bob Smith….he won’t return my call

Joe Jones…he criticized my preaching behind my back.

My boss…he threatened to fire me.

My co-worker…he told the boss I’m not dependable.

My co-worker….he told the boss my department was a problem and didn’t speak to me first.

My co-worker….he said I have an ego problem.

My friend…he won’t take my advice.

The list can go on and on and it should. Be very thorough.

How did this incident hurt you?

What we are doing is accepting that an actual hurt occurred. The incident may have hurt us financially or emotionally. Our spouses’ may have embarrassed us in some way. Yes, that hurt emotionally, financially, socially. This process is simply to help us see that the stuff of life really does hurt us. We are getting real with our heart here. We are being honest that we are indeed quite sore about things.

Ask for Forgiveness for our Anger

At this point, we need to make sure we accept Jesus’ saying,

“I say if you are angry, you are liable before the judgment” (Matt 5:22).

This step is the most important. The Word of God must be our standard. If we have anger, or words of judgment or a critical heart toward our brother or sister, we are liable to the judgment. We have real guilt before God if we have anger. Therefore, we need to be convicted of this sin by the Word and the Spirit. This point cannot be over emphasized. Ask God to take away our anger and our hatred…we admit that our love level is low and in fact do wish harm on some people. Hold the standard up high and get real! This is the key!!

Finding our Fault

Before coming to this step, we need to be thorough about the step of confessing our sin of being angry and critical. We might well take a day or so between steps four and five. Really we are now doing something different. First we were being ruthlessly honest with our sin of anger. We exposed to ourselves the reality that we are a mad, prone to sin person. This confession of deep anger is a breakthrough in itself. I suspect that everyone is a really ticked-off person at least part of the time.

JOSEPH

If ever a man had a right to be angry and resentful it was Joseph.

Sold by his brothers into slavery, then wrongly accused of trying to sexually abuse his master’s wife, Joseph gets placed by God into one of the most powerful positions in all of Egypt. Though he’d been mistreated by the Egyptian system, he accepted God’s call to save this pagan land and all the surrounding areas from famine.

Given the opportunity to get back at his brothers because of his position and their need for help, Joseph tests them and then finally reveals who he is. After their reconciliation he receives the blessing of their father before he passes away. They have a huge beautiful funeral and then the brothers once again get scared. They think their brother now has the power to get back at them and so they send a message saying that their father sent word before he died that he wanted Joseph to forgive them all for all the wrongs they’d done to him. Then they finish with, “We are your slaves.” Joseph’s response was to weep before them all. What he says next is so powerful.

“’Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.’” (Gen. 50:19-21, NIV)

The movie Dead Man Walking tells the true story of how an unsuspecting Catholic nun became the spiritual director of a death row inmate. Throughout the movie, this prisoner, who was convicted of the brutal murder of a young couple, does little to make us identify with him as a human being. He is sickening and repulsive. Yet this nun, Sister Prejean, continues to guide him, hoping somehow to touch is soul. Finally she leads him to an act of contrition and penance and as a result, he declares to the parents of his victims, "I hope that my death gives you some peace."

But for the parents of the young girl, there is no peace. The only thing they have is their hate. And under the circumstances...their reaction is understandable, even natural.

But, the father of the young man is not as hardened. He attends the grave side services for the murderer, but stands at a distance. Sister Prejean goes to him and he tells her, "Sister, I wish I had your faith." She replies, "It's not faith. It's a lot of WORK."

I’d like to suggest a simple prayer for the Holy Spirit to take over our life. Saying words alone won’t change our hearts, but if these words reflect your deepest desire, then today could be a new beginning.

Heavenly Father, our problem is not with your Word. We know what it says. And our problem is not with other people, not even the ones who have hurt us deeply. Our problem is on the inside. We confess that too many times we have been critical of those around us. Forgive us our thoughtless, unkind, hurtful words. O Lord, show us a better way! Without you, we will never change.

Thank you for showing us how to live. Thank you for showing us how to die. Thank you for showing us how to forgive the people who have hurt us the most.

Holy Spirit, fill us with your power so that we might become truly different people. Set us free from bitterness, from anger, and from a judgmental spirit. Grant us power to love each other.

Make us like Jesus, full of grace and truth. And do it now, in this moment.


Blessings,


John