Facing Criticism

Then Moses cried out to the Lord, "What am I to do with these people? They are almost ready to stone me." (Exodus 17:4)

I hate criticism. Don't you?

 Is there anything that pierces deeper than harsh, judgmental words? Over the years I’ve had to occasionally stop and readjust my whole outlook because of criticism.

Having said that, I’ve often been surprised at the small amount of criticism I’ve dealt with, though I’ve had my share.  But I’m still moving and have never been bitter and that’s important. Cheer up my friend, you and I definitely will survive criticism.

There are two kinds of criticism. One is called "constructive." It’s designed, in the critic's mind, to bring a positive end. However, constructive criticism can be as painful to the one being criticized as that which is called "destructive." Both hurt, but as we’ll see, you and I should praise God for criticism!

THE SENSITIVE PLANT

I visited China in the early 1980’s and became aware of a little flower called “the sensitive plant.” All you had to do was touch the plant ever so gently and it closed up as if it had been mortally wounded.

 It impressed me as sad for the little flower. They are called by several names including “the humble plant.”

This plant reminds me of people I’ve met. They’re seemingly just too sensitive for this world. To tell these good folk to take criticism lightly is like telling a Mocking bird to “pipe down.” It ain’t gonna happen. These good folk are virtually incapable of it. They find it quite impossible to leave the confines of their home and not become upset, hurt and often deeply offended by something. Restaurants, malls, sports events, school, driving the streets, even in church, these folk can’t seem to escape being offended by someone or something. They can even be deeply hurt and flustered by a billboard sign on the side of the road. You have to walk on egg shells around them or you’ll witness a meltdown and it won’t be pretty.

We’re all aware that we’re in a new age of technology. We now live with the reality that scores of people can and do read and listen to our thoughts if we use twitter or for that matter email.  The offshoot of this is that our innermost expressions and thoughts are available for folk to read, evaluate and critique. In our present culture, many people will take offense at even the slightest attempt at humor.

I’m told that many of the “top” comedians of the day have a new rule- to never entertain on college compasses. The reason? Students nowadays wear “chips on their shoulders” and find something objectionable in almost any attempt at humor. Speakers and entertainers have to be constantly aware of the new phenomenon called being –Politically Correct.- Think about it; do you witness many laughs at things that are legitimately funny, or do you more often see “eye rolling”? Are we losing our National sense of humor? If subtle humor can render many people incapacitated, it stands to reason that outright criticism will just about do them in.

LET’S FACE IT, CRITICISM CAN DRAG YOU DOWN

Some people call me a songwriter and I trust they’re right. Over the years I’ve put songs out and watched as they were critiqued and analyzed. Some songs were widely accepted and some laid aside. This process can be very disheartening. Many songs that I had high hopes for never saw the light of day, and some were embraced and became popular. Over the years I’ve had to learn to say with my Italian friends, “What are you gonna do?” As a writer about all you can do is do your best knowing others will decide if your work survives.

Moses found out what a bitter pill criticism can be. He didn't want to be a leader. He knew that he’d have to pay the price of criticism. Moses stuttered. What were his critics going to do with that one? In the final analysis, Moses agreed to lead this band of slaves. Their lot in Egypt had been bad. Their children had been massacred. They had been driven in a terrible way by the oppression of their cruel taskmasters. You would think that Moses would be praised for His leadership. On the contrary. The story of the wilderness journey is one in which Moses is constantly maligned. You would think that the people would appreciate his courageous leadership. Instead they cried out…

 "If only we had died by the Lord's hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death." (Exodus 16:3).

God provided for Israel’s needs. He gave them a promise for the future. Again they complained, criticizing Moses. The reason? He had run out of water. Once again they murmured against him, complaining about the fact that he had led them out of Egypt. Poor Moses. Broken by criticism, he falls on his face before God and cries out,

 '"What am I to do with these people? They are almost ready to stone me'" (Exodus 17:4).

Truthfully, criticism can be a terrific stabilizer. Moses grew spiritually in his dependence on God through the criticism.

SLANDER

There's a difference between criticism and slander. Every so often we may actually be slandered. This may get back to us through the grapevine. I find myself disturbed; however, I am not nearly as disturbed by slander as I am by criticism. Slander can be dismissed because it’s simply dishonest. What is said has no factual basis. It disturbs us because others could believe the untruths.

 Criticism rather gets to us in a much more subtle way. So often the critical word has some factual basis. An explosive response to it is a clear sign that someone has gotten under our skin. Our pride is wounded. We’re painfully aware that this person has insights which are more valid than our own self-appraisal.

BLESSING IN DISGUISE

Learn to appreciate your critic. He’s protecting you from yourself. He may dislike you. He may wish ill against you. Still, thank God for critics.
Imagine the political climate here in the United States if public officials were not subject to criticism. How wounded our presidents must feel when their every action is sliced apart. But in truth the pain is worth it. It makes the elected official all the more sensitive to the public trust. A totalitarian regime clothes its leadership in enormous power. Criticism is muzzled. There's no freedom of the press. Totalitarian governments stagnate. Why? Because they protected themselves from criticism.

If you follow American politics, you’re aware of the man who at this writing sits close to the top of the Republican heap of presidential contenders. Mr. Trump has many admirable qualities but as do all men, he has his weaknesses. One of Trumps weaknesses is his deep dislike of criticism. He tends to implode when people point out a flaw in his makeup. My thought is…this man in many ways has the potential to go all the way and win the election of 2016. IMHO the deciding factor will be if he can rise above pettiness and assimilate honest criticism and let the rest roll off his back.

And my dear friend, the same will be true of you and me.

Often we get relief from our critics in remembering that people for the most part judge others out of their own hearts. In other words, we blame and criticize others for what we ourselves are guilty of. –Romans 2:1

I love the story of the wife who pleaded with her husband to visit a museum of fine arts with her. She felt that her man needed a little more culture in his life so off they went to the museum, never mind the fact that the husband’s feet were firmly planted in the ground.

The couple walked up the steps of the museum and had no sooner entered the place when the out- of -sorts man noticed a painting hanging on the wall. “Look” the man said, “Look at that. Who in the world would ever paint that picture and frame it when the man in the picture is so scruffy looking. Who in their right mind would call that shabby picture a great work of art?” The wife grabbed her husband’s sleeve and cried, “Honey, honey that’s not a painting, it’s a mirror.”

And so it is that the things we criticize in others is often what we ourselves are guilty of. If we weren’t familiar with it we’d have probably never noticed it. We knew that as kids in sixth grade. We’d say, “It takes one to know one.”

As it concerns our critics, there’s usually some validity to what they’re saying. Don’t you agree? That's what puts the burr in their words…the “pepper in the gumbo”-as it were. How productive would it be if you and I could learn to accept the grain of truth in what our critics say? Praise is a wonderful 'pick-me-up,' but it’s only through criticism that we’re enabled to know what we have been doing wrong and thereby correct our failures and shortcomings.

Someone has bluntly but correctly said: "Criticism is the manure in which the Lord's servants grow best."

CRITICISM HELPS TO KEEP US HUMBLE.

Over the years, as all of us must do, I’ve daily laid my life on the altar before the Lord and continually asked Him to take me and use me and make my will subject to His. You and I must endeavor to stay painfully aware that the monster of pride at any moment can be loosed from its spiritual chains to crush us and destroy our effectiveness.

It was the criticism of others that first alerted me to the potential seriousness of this inclination. As criticism continues to come our way, we should pray to have the courage to face it objectively. Therein, with God's help, we can ascertain the extent to which criticisms are correct.

You and I should be willing to accept criticism when it’s valid. Learn from it. You may want to find someone besides your marriage partner with whom you can confide your puzzlement with certain types of criticism. Find someone who’s objective, who loves you, who can help interpret the criticism that comes your way, enabling you to disregard that which is incorrect.

God told Moses: get up and get going. He would provide. Moses did his best in a difficult situation.

You can only be as good as God helps you to be. We can be too sensitive to criticism. You and I have to remember our theology. We’re not perfect. Any claim to perfection comes through Christ's work at the cross on our behalf.

Our human efforts will always fall short of that high goal. God wants something more than our best. He wants us to yield ourselves to Him. He wants us to be obedient. From a human perspective we may not be doing that great a job. Some criticism will be valid. We should adjust to it. If we are flexible, doing our very best, God will be pleased with our efforts even when our friends, family and associates find fault.

There's not just one right way to do everything. Two committed Christians may have differing lifestyles. Both are completely dedicated to Christ. One might enjoy a Sunday afternoon ball game, where another will consider this a Sabbath violation. One may drink a glass of wine with his meal, while another would find this to be a violation of personal conscience. The key is obedience to the Bible where its instruction is clear. It declares we are to set aside a day for worship and rest. We’re to avoid drunkenness. It’s a serious sin. As we wrote in the last blog, “Principles God Loves,” where the Bible is unclear, we’re to follow our own personal conscience as it’s directed by God's Holy Spirit.

Unfortunately, many criticisms involve petty concerns. We need to distinguish between what is right and the various methodologies of doing what is right.

BILLY GRAHAM

From early childhood I’ve always very much loved and admired Billy Graham. Over the decades Graham has been subject to the most intense criticism a man can face. Some claim he has violated the gospel of Jesus Christ by associating [on his Crusade platform] with ministers and laymen who deny the authority of the Bible and the deity of Christ. And there are those who attack him from the other side and say that he has neglected social concerns as he's put the stress on personal salvation. Some attack him for using the mass media and question his right to use Madison Avenue techniques. Some criticized him for going to Russia decades ago, feeling that he was used by the Soviet authorities.

Billy Graham could spend many a sleepless night if he took all these criticisms too seriously. God has used him. His methods are not the only methods which God has used. You and I aren’t called to duplicate Graham’s style. God works through a variety of persons, talents, temperaments, and methods. Thank God for a Billy Graham who has endeavored to do the very best he can with the life God has given him.

Are you as faithful? Or are you afraid to accomplish anything for God for fear of criticism? Listen to the critics, examine each one and learn from those that have validity. Then plow ahead with enthusiasm, knowing that you are doing your very best given the assets and liabilities which are yours.

Again, anyone who is going to accomplish anything in life will be criticized. If you are unwilling to face critical evaluation, I suggest you put aside your plans to do anything in this world. The person who is unwilling to face criticism is the person who will be completely immobilized. He’ll find objections from all sides. He will become neutralized by these, never able to make a move.

FOOTBALL’S TERRY BRADSHAW

Over the years I’ve followed the life of quarterback Terry Bradshaw, and discovered just how fickle people can be. It seems that people’s proclivity for idle criticism is the same yesterday today and forever. Terry has been booed by thousands. Seemingly there was nothing good about the way he played the game of football. As time went by I heard him cheered as though he could do no wrong. It just so happened that he was the most visible player on the field. When things go bad, the most visible player is the one who gets the most guff. When things go well, he is stroked.

Harry Truman, who received intense criticism during his term of office, put it this way: "If you can't stand the heat, you'd better get out of the kitchen!"
If you and I are ever going to accomplish anything in this world, we’re going to be criticized. I think sports heroes, politicians, and religious leaders are most vulnerable. You and I, in our own little worlds, are just as susceptible. Being in the public eye assures criticism. Do something and you will get it. Do nothing and you'll face no criticism, except that some will say, "You know, good old Joe just never does anything."

CONSIDER JESUS

Jesus Himself was despised and rejected of men. He was a Man of sorrows. The Bible says that He was acquainted with grief. Those who followed Him were fickle. One moment they expressed their affection. The next they turned it off. He was plotted against, and maligned. One day He was praised as a hero, the next day He was nailed to a cross. Spiritual leadership is costly.

STEPHEN

Stephen found this out. He could not deny his Lord. He was willing to walk into the face of his culture, declare that the Messiah had come, and plead for his Jewish brethren to repent and trust Jesus Christ. Then, as they stoned him to death, in love he cried out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them."

He paid the price of his convictions. I doubt that any of us will be stoned to death in a literal way for our faith in the Savior. But I will guarantee some of you are right now in the process of being stoned to spiritual death by the criticisms of those who mock your love of Christ.

Only a few yards away from where Stephen was being stoned was a man named Saul of Tarsus. He held the coat of one who threw the stones. Saul could have continued to play it safe. He was a persecutor of Christians. He saw something in the steadfast resolve of one man willing to go to his death for the faith that planted a seed. That same Saul of Tarsus became Saint Paul. He went to his death considering it a joy to suffer for Jesus.

When you’re hurt, it’s easy to lash out and hurt others. We can do it almost unconsciously. It’s a defense mechanism to It protect us.

There’s a place to speak the truth, but it needs to be cushioned with love, or we’ll destroy others with the very criticism that hurts us so much. Moses mellowed with the years. Over a period of time he learned to put his criticisms where they counted in a demonstration of loving, firm leadership.

And so why don’t you and I pick ourselves up, square our shoulders and keep plowing.

Winston Churchill had the following words of Abe Lincoln framed on the wall of his office:

"I do the very best I can, I mean to keep going. If the end brings me out all right, then what is said against me won’t matter. If I’m wrong, ten angels swearing I was right won’t make a difference."

After you’ve done the inner wince, take a deep breath and get back in the ring. Just because you may need to “Tune up your act” a bit, it doesn’t mean that you’re a full scale loser. So literally, take a deep expansive breath, with your fists unclenched. You sustain less injury when you do NOT brace for impact. I guess that’s why they call it “rolling with the punches.”

Don't let criticism get the best of you. God will provide grace as we need it. Face whatever criticisms that come with the resolve to move ahead in spite of it.

 Being raised in Florida, I’ve loved fish most of my life. I’ve learned to eat the good part and spit out the bones. So it is with criticism. As we seek the Lord, he’ll give us the discernment to tell one from the other.

Thanks be to God who giveth us the victory through Jesus Christ our Lord.

1 Corinthians 15:57

Blessings,

John