Desperation Is Better Than Despair

By John Stallings


In Will Smith’s movie The Pursuit of happiness, Chris Gardner is a family man struggling to make ends meet. Left with only memories of his poor departed wife, he has the responsibility of raising his five-year-old son Christopher. His wife didn’t die; she just got tired of being poor-- & departed.

Chris, now a single father continues to doggedly pursue a better-paying job using every sales skill he knows. He lands an internship at a prestigious stock brokerage firm & seems to have a promising future.

Without a financial cushion Chris & his son are soon evicted from their apartment & forced to sleep in shelters, bus stations, bathrooms or wherever they can find refuge for the night.

Despite his troubles Chris continues to honor his commitment as a loving, caring father using the affection & trust his son has placed in him as an impetus to overcome the obstacles he faces.

I recently saw Gardner interviewed on The Fox Network. He was promoting his latest book & in the course of the interview he was asked his advice to people who had lost their employment due to the financial meltdown. Among other things he said; “It’s probably normal to get a little panicky-- but just don’t freeze.”

What stellar advice that is. Don’t freeze.

Now for another quote;-“If I weren’t a Christian I think I’d go mad. But my faith in God holds me. It holds me to the belief He is in some way working out His own plans through human perversities & mistakes.”

Do you know who spoke these words? They’re President Woodrow Wilson’s words. He wrote them in 1919 after the major defeat of his life, the defeat by his own U.S Congress of his great dream for an international forum- the League of Nations

No matter where you stand on the financial crisis we’re experiencing in the country today, the collapse is real, the impact on our lives is real & the economic peril for our beloved country is profound.

With the title for this message in mind, let me give you a few quick illustrations before I offer a little road map to follow in this or any crisis we may encounter in our lives.

Have you ever been really desperate? If not, have you ever observed a truly desperate person in action?

A minister friend of mine tells the story of arriving at a hospital to make a pastoral visit & seeing a woman knocking on the door of the hospital’s little prayer chapel saying “let me in, let me in.”

The pastor walked over to help her but found the door to the chapel was locked. He stopped a passing worker; “the chapel is locked.” The worker says, “We have to keep it locked. There are some kids that trashed it & we had to get all new furniture. We can’t afford to keep doing that so we have to keep it locked.”

My friend said, “Well find someone with a key” He came back with a woman who opened the door & the minister & the woman who’d been knocking on the door went in.

My friend noticed that the woman had come to the hospital suddenly; she had no make up, her hair had not been combed, it was obvious that she just threw something on. She had a look of desperation in her face & she said, “I know he’s going to die, I just know it.”

“Who?”Asked the minister.
“My husband.”
“What’s the matter?”
“He’s had a heart attack.”
“Can I get you some water?”
“No” she says.”

My friend tells her who he is & asks if he could pray. She says, “Please.”

As he starts to pray she takes over with her own prayer. The pastor saw she was getting through so he let her continue on her own.

“Lord, it’s not time to take my husband. You know that better than I do. He’s not ready, not a good time to take him. Don’t take him now. I have these kids to raise & I have no job skills, can’t find work. I quit school to marry him. If I’d known you were going to take him I’d have stayed in school! And God, what about the kids? They don’t mind now with him around & if he’s gone they’ll be as wild as bucks. This isn’t the time to take my husband!”

This woman was talking to God just as straight-forwardly as the pastor had ever heard it done before. He stayed for as long as he felt useful, then he left the chapel.

He went back the next morning. He saw the woman in the hallway outside intensive care. She had on a dress & make up & looked real nice. Before the pastor had time to ask she said, “He’s better.” She smiles, “I’m sorry about that crazy woman yesterday.”

My friend said, “You weren’t crazy.”
She says, “I guess the Lord heard one of us.”
My friend said, “He heard you.” She was desperate. She prayed out of desperation.

The pastor said,” She reached into heaven with her prayer & had God by the lapels with both hands & was screaming in God’s face: “I don’t think you’re listening!” That’s desperation.”

Sometimes faith is born in a time of desperation. Sometimes that faith doesn’t last & sometimes it does. It develops into a more complete & mature faith. Often in our desperation we realize that the faith we thought we had doesn’t work in the light of the difficulties of life & we’re opened up to a more radical, effective faith.

When we come to a situation like this woman was faced with, when we struggle with feelings we can’t control, when there is a rage inside us that we can’t contain, when the darkness is so thick we feel as though we’re suffocating in it, when we’re rendered powerless & stripped of all pretences & defenses, when our deepest questions about God are shrouded in mystery, or we’re brought low in humiliation-as strange as it may seem, we’re in a place that God will use to strengthen our faith in Him. When you & I get to the place God is all we have, that’s desperation time, & in those times we learn that He’s more than sufficient.

I heard about a man who was about to go crazy with fear because when he turned out the lights he thought he heard monsters crawling out from under his bed. He went to a psychologist for therapy. After many months of therapy the doctor was ready to give up.

Then one afternoon the guy came walking into the doctor’s office with a new spring in his step. The doctor asked what happened & he informed him he’d been cured. “I’m cured & I’ve been sleeping like a baby. My brother came to my house to visit me & cured me.” Amazed the doctor asked, “Is your brother a psychologist?”
“No, he’s a carpenter. He sawed the legs off my bed.”

This is what some people look for—quick fixes & easy answers. But this kind of faith is fragile & can be easily shattered. God wants us to have mature faith that has substance to it.

We don’t have to have all our questions answered or understand everything about God to get a healing. The little woman in Mark with the issue of blood had some wrong ideas about Jesus but she also had a desperate faith. She had it in her mind that Jesus’ clothes had some kind of magical qualities & if she touched the clothes she’d be healed. As far as I know that wasn’t in Jesus resume’, “if you’ll touch my clothes you’ll be healed.” But that faith, small as it was, caused her to have the audacious desperation to fight the crowds & get close enough to Jesus to touch his garment & God honored her effort.

Now let’s look at despair. One dictionary defines despair;-“The loss of hope. To lose hope; to give up.

I’ve told the story of the woman who rode the same bus to work every morning. One day an old man got on the bus. He was shabbily dressed & obviously down & out. She thought about what she should do to express Christian love to this poor man. She got up & took a dollar bill out of her purse, went over to the man, pressed the dollar into the palm of his hand & whispered, “Never despair, just remember, never despair.”

The next day the woman was on the bus again & the man got on at the same stop, & came back to where to woman was sitting. He took eight dollars out of his pocket & pressed the money into her hand. The woman was non-plussed & asked, “What’s this for?” He said, “Never Despair won the eight race at Monmouth Park yesterday.”

Millions in our nation & around the world are feeling the pangs of despair about the financial problems we’re experiencing. I used to find watching T.V relaxing but these days it's getting to be too much of a downer. You find yourself flipping channels & everywhere you turn you’re hearing things that bring you down. We see people dying in wars, crying over their dire financial situation, we see homes being re-possessed, washed away, blown away or burned up. We see & hear things we know are lies & have the feeling the programmers are trying to shape our political thoughts & feelings.

People are in despair all over the planet.

A man went to the doctor for an annual physical exam. The doctor came in & said to him, “You’re in terrible shape. If you don’t change your lifestyle you’re going to die & soon.” That got the man’s attention. He sat there for a minute & said, “Well, Doc, what should I do? Tell me the absolute best way I can get this turned around.”

Knowing him fairly well, the doctor said, --“Stop smoking, stop eating fried foods every time no one is looking, & stop staying out half the night drinking when you’re on the road.”

He was silent for a minute & then he said, “What’s the next best thing I can do?”

Sound familiar? But people in despair get trapped in self-destructive cycles & the cycles bring on more despair.

Now I’d like to offer a three point action plan, the best responses I know of for times when you’re frightened, anxious & can’t see a way through your circumstances.

1. Act. Don’t freeze.

If the woman with the issue of blood had allowed her condition to freeze her in place, she’d never have gotten her healing. She didn’t wait to feel better, she went as she was. Don’t wait to feel better about things, act & then you’ll feel better. Let’s put it this way; “we don’t feel our way into a different way of acting, we act our way into a different way of feeling.” Experts tell us, - “The most drastic & usually the most effective remedy for fear is direct action.”

I’ve been to New Orleans since Katrina & though there are still boulevards of broken dreams everywhere you look, you still can’t help but be impressed with the way people have rebuilt. There may be a government trailer pulled up beside the old ram- shackled house but the people, in so many cases are doing something to better their situation. How wise that is. Some people, strange as it might sound are even finding joy in their new beginnings.

The memory of that hellish storm will never be erased but many have found solace in the fact that their lives were spared & they can still work to rebuild their broken hopes & shattered dreams. Action! That’s how God wants us to react when bad things happen & hope seems to be shot. Get up & get busy rebuilding & helping the people around us.

I may have shared this before but it’s worth repeating. Years ago a young man came to me for advice. He had been fired from his job & was really down & out. He said, “John, what am I going to do? I prayed with him & shared all the scripture I could think of that seemed relevant but I could see he was still down, just sitting there looking sad & depressed.

Finally I decided to use a little shock therapy. I said “do you really want me to tell you what to do to get yourself jump-started?” He answered in the affirmative so I said, “this is going to sound elementary but on your way home buy a newspaper. Take the paper home, lay it on the kitchen table & open it to the want-ads. Get a pencil & put on your reading glasses. Then go down the list of help-wanted ads until you see a job opening you think you might like. Circle it, & then keep reading until you find two or three more that look good to you.”

I continued, “Tomorrow, get in your car & go check out the job possibilities, & when you find the job you feel best about, if they’ll hire you, take it. Now you’ll be employed again”

That man reacted as if he’d been shot through the head. He jumped up & said, O.K Brother John, I’ll do it.” He left my office grinning from ear to ear, acting like he’d been shot from a cannon & exposed to the wisdom of the ages. A few days later he called me & told me he’d found a better paying job than the one he had lost & just wanted to thank me for the advice. I had actually just pointed out the obvious.

Do you want me to tell you how I conjured up all that “wisdom?” Well, I’d been in exactly the same shape that young man was in & I realized that when life kicks the wind out of us, it can immobilize us to the point that we temporarily overlook the obvious & that’s to get up & get moving. Take action--Don’t freeze up. Get yourself to do the basics that you know have to be done. The secret to our success or failure in life is embedded somewhere in our everyday—that’s everyday-- actions.

This same formula of action works in the realm of the spirit. Pastor James told us—Draw nigh to God & He’ll draw nigh to you. James 4:8. James also informs us that faith without works is dead.

Point two. Pray.

When trouble strikes I strongly suggest you pray & pray hard. Paul asked the churches he built to pray for him. When Jesus’ disciples went to bed- He went to pray. If we had no other persuasion to pray, the fact that Jesus needed to pray should be enough.

When Hezekiah was told to get his house in order for he was going to die, he turned his face to the wall & prayed for more time. Immediately that prayer registered in the courts of heaven & God answered & gave him fifteen more years.

When Paul & Silas were in jail they prayed & sang songs & the jail broke open & they were released. Daniel prayed & lion’s mouths were locked. The three Hebrews boys prayed & Jesus ran down the starry stairway & jumped in the fiery furnace with them & they came out of the fire without the scent of smoke clinging to their garments.

When Saul/Paul was stricken blind on the Damascus turnpike, he prayed & his eyes were opened & he received the Holy Ghost. Jonah prayed in the belly of the great fish & was delivered. Prayer lifts us out of the mundane troubles of life & sets our feet on solid ground.

Point three. Trust

If a married couple can’t trust each other their marriage is worth nothing. If we can’t trust our friends they aren’t really friends. Lack of trust writ large is what we see lived out all too often in the world & to what end-? chaos & confusion. But when genuine trust exists we can relax. We can work together to achieve great things. As Christians our trust should always be in the Lord who told us;

Fear not for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters I will be with you, & through the rivers, they shall not overflow you: when you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned neither shall the flame kindle upon you. [Isaiah 43:1-2]

If you are in despair, or in desperation, I pray these simple truths will help you press through whatever stands in your way & seek the living Christ & touch Him & be made whole.

When disaster hits, do three things. Act, pray & trust, & like Woodrow Wilson, let faith in God hold you up.

Blessings,

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

John