Grumpy Old Men

By John Stallings

…Don’t turn me out to pasture when I’m old, or put me on the shelf when I can’t pull my weight…… Psalm 71:9-The Message

Two elderly men had been friends all their lives. Over the years they’d shared all kinds of activities & adventures & were actually closer than brothers.

One day they were sitting opposite each other at a card table when one looked at the other & said, “Now don’t get mad with me. I know we’ve been friends for over 80 years but I just can’t remember your name. I’ve thought & thought about it but your name has slipped my mind. Can you please tell me what it is?”

The other man sat & glared at him. For at least 3 minutes he just stared & glared back at his old friend. Finally when it looked like he wouldn’t speak at all he asked, “How soon do you need to know?”

I met an old gentleman in his 90’s at the Mall where I often walk. As we walked along he began to tell me about the new hearing aide he’d just purchased. He raved about how good this hearing aide was & finally bragged it was the absolute best that could be purchased anywhere in the world. I knew he was a very wealthy man & could certainly afford the best of everything. Finally I asked him “What kind is it?” He answered, “Eleven-thirty.”

Another older gentleman had a serious hearing problem for a number of years. Finally he went to the doctor & was fitted for a set of hearing aides that allowed him to hear well. About a month later he went back to the doctor for another check-up & the doctor said, “Your hearing is almost perfect. Your family must be pleased that you can hear so well.” The gentleman replied, “ Oh, I tell them my hearing aides don’t work & I can’t hear a thing. I just sit around & listen to the conversation. I’ve changed my Will three times.”

Nowadays we hear the concept of aging expressed in many different ways. We talk about, “The Senior Years,” and, “The Golden Years.” I like one I recently heard about where the senior club in a church is called The J.O.Y Club, for older folk, or the “Just Older Youths” club.

Comedian George Burns had a definition of old age. He said, “Old age is when you don’t have to own antiques to sit down on something that’s over 80.”

People are living longer today. The life expectancy in 1900 was 49 years. In 1999, the average life expectancy was 76 years. In 2015, a 76 year old male has a life expectancy of slightly more than ten more years.76 year old females have approx. twelve more years. Since more people are alive today in their 80’s & 90’s or even 100 years old, some make the distinction between the “young-old” for those between 60-75 while the “old-old” are 75 plus. I’m not saying I agree with this, I’m just passing it on.

In our society, youthfulness is held up as an ideal while in other cultures; old age is accepted as a natural part of the life cycle. We do all we can to stay young & the cosmetic industry is booming because of it. In many cultures older people are revered & looked on as a source of wisdom while in ours, the elderly are sometimes just tolerated or even scorned.

One reason for this is the information explosion. In years past young people learned from the older folk how to do things, now with the booming technology, it’s grandpa going to his grandchild to learn how to operate a computer. This is all part of the big picture of being an older person in the United States today.

LOSS OF HEALTH

As we get older the body begins to wear out & we have aches & pains we never had before. Many older people are faced with chronic illness or physical limitations.

 The only real question I have about aging is what in the world happens at night? When I go to bed I’m walking perfectly, not an ache or pain on the horizon. But too often when I get up, I feel like someone worked me over with a two-by-four during the night. And I have a Sleep Number bed. I guess you just have to walk it off. Honestly, when you get a little age on you, you can get hurt just picking up the phone.

Also with age, our memory may start to go. As a matter of fact I was going to put another story in right here but I forgot it.

Many in their older years lose a spouse & this means adjusting to a whole different life without husband or wife. We may start to lose many of our friends. I remember how one of my grandmothers used to remark how strange it felt to lose so many of her friends.

Also, older folk may lose their independence & we can imagine the loss of self-esteem associated with that. There can also be the loss of one’s home because of lack of ability to maintain it & also a reduction in financial resources. All these losses can trigger sadness & depression in the elderly.

Of course there are blessings & benefits associated with the senior years. We might have more free time to travel & do things we never had time to do when we were employed or raising our children. Also enjoying grandchildren or younger children in our family can add a joyful dimension to this stage of life.

Older people are living healthier more active lives. In reality a 65 year old man has on average an estimated life expectancy of over 15 years while a woman that age has a life expectancy of 20.5 years. I find it interesting that old age is a stage of life that now lasts almost as long as youth. It seems that age 40 is the old-age of youth while age 50 is the youth of old age. There, didn’t that make your day?

A FEW FACTS ABOUT OLDER PEOPLE

1. Senior adults have over $1.6 trillion in spending power. [I couldn't help but think about Austin Powers when I wrote trillion.] That’s nearly twice the U.S average.
2. They buy 41% of all new cars.
3. They purchase 25% of all toys—think grand kids.
4. Account for 80% of all luxury travel.
5. Spend $7 Billion online annually.
6. Spend more time online than teenagers, and
7. Own more than three-fourths of the nation’s wealth.

The “golden years” aren’t called golden for nothing.

PSALM 71 IS A PRAYER WRITTEN BY AN ELDERLY MAN

The whole Psalm is the prayer of an aged man of faith who has lived an honorable life & now seeks God’s deliverance from enemies, sickness & shame.

It begins:

In you O Lord I take refuge; let me never be put to shame. In your righteousness deliver me & rescue me; incline your ear to me & save me. Be to me a rock of refuge a strong fortress, to save me for you are my rock & my fortress. Rescue me O my God from the hand of the wicked, from the grasp of the unjust & cruel.[Psalm 71:1-4]

He goes on to pray,

Do not cast me off in the time of old age; do not forsake me when my strength is spent. [vr.9]. 

Whatever we face in our senior years whether fears, losses, loneliness—God will not forsake us! The writer of this psalm knows God as his rock & fortress: 

Be to me a rock of refuge, a strong fortress, to save me. [vr.3]

Prayer can & should be the way we get in touch with the power to sustain us.

I think we can say that many old people are grumpy but all of them aren’t; this psalmist certainly isn’t grumpy. Hollywood even made the movie-GRUMPY OLD MEN. Of course there are lots of young grumps & middle-aged grumps also. We can spend our years complaining, or bitter, or nit-picking. We can have a negative attitude or we can praise the Lord.

HERE ARE TEN ATTITUDES TO HELP US AS WE GROW OLDER

 1. Don’t think of yourself as old, think of yourself as experienced.Job said;  

-Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?-Job 12:12

We can tell if we’re getting old if;

We feel old,
We often say, “I’m too old to do that.”
We feel the future holds no promise.
We’d rather talk than listen.
We long for the good old days. [I don’t know about you but the good old days nearly killed me.]

Proverbs 23:22 says,--Listen to your father who gave you life, & do not despise your mother when she is old.This speaks of the wisdom & understanding of older parents.

When I was pre-teen, people would often comment about how smart I was. I knew they were wrong but didn’t really want to argue with them. Teachers would say what potential I had & would remark to my parents what a smart boy they raised. Of course they’d always add, “If Johnny would only apply himself...”

Not to be falsely humble, but I knew I wasn’t as smart as many of my schoolmates because I had the evidence & I often wondered how I could have so many people fooled. Then I figured it out; I used bigger words than most kids my age. The reason for that was, I had two parents that were preachers, [my father matriculated Mercer University in Macon Georgia] & they used big words a lot. Without really trying, just listening, I picked up their words & that made me sound smart. Occasionally I’d even know the actual meaning of a big word I was using.

This is the reason other cultures in the Far East like Japan, honor & revere their parents & grandparents & keep them as close as they can; they know wisdom resides in them. They know the elderly have forgotten more than they’ve yet learned. The trick is not to forget too much.

2. Stay engaged in meaningful activities.

If there is a “youth potion,” it’s meaningful work. It can be continued work in the “Market Place” or some other meaningful duty such as volunteerism, nonetheless work.

I was amused at Rush Limbaugh this week [Rush is usually right on target] when he dissed eating healthy and exercising because Jack Lalanne did that and he died. Hello! Rush my man, Lalanne died at ninety-six. While he was in his nineties, Lalanne when he took a notion would swim & pull a barge across San Francisco bay with a leather strap between his teeth, which I’m sure weren’t false. Jack did nothing because he had to but because he knew it kept him alive. Moreover, as far as I know he didn’t spend his last years in a wheel-chair or on a walker and succumbed to what doctors call “the old persons friend,” pneumonia.

One of my grandmothers ran a boarding house almost until she went to heaven & was in her late eighties when she passed. I know I’ve shared this before but her sense of humor was in tact on her death bed. Amongst her last words were; “In just a moment an elevator is going to come down to the foot of my bed, open up, & two angels are going to get out & escort me onto it. They’re going to push the up button & we’re going to heaven.” Then with a twinkle in her eyes she remarked, “I sure hope they don’t push the wrong button.”

Things like skill sharing, delivering meals-on-wheels, visiting shut-ins, & hospital visitation & Sunday school teaching are all things elderly folk can be involved in.

3. Continue to grow & look ahead.

Remember Caleb, the 85 year old man in Joshua 12:13 who asked; Give me this mountain? At that advanced age he still knew exactly what he wanted.

When the well-known Christian industrialist R.G Le Tourneau was asked to name the best ten years of his very productive life, his answer was always the same; “The next ten.”

Psalm 92:12-14 says, --But the godly shall flourish…even in old age they shall produce fruit & be vital & green.Paul the Apostle noted that even though the outward man grows weak, the inner man can be renewed day by day.

4. Be courageous

Courage is very importance in this process.

The other day I heard a wise lady speaking on the radio about the present fiscal crisis we’re going through in America. She was scolding the purveyors of doom about the economy & she remarked, “You know, often times the patient is killed, not by their disease but by fear.”

I couldn’t agree more. Although she was speaking first & foremost about the economy, certainly fear has killed more people than cancer has ever killed.

There is nothing so powerful in old age or for that matter, any age, than a deep abiding faith in God. When we are weak he is strong. Praise His name!

Joshua 1:9 says,--Have I not commanded you? Be strong & of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. 

5. Understand the power of positive life patterns.

I had several uncles who were very successful in the Insurance business. I’ll never forget the advice one of them gave me when I was in my early twenties. He said, “The young John has got to put some money in the old John’s pocket.” In other words, if the young John spends all he has & arrives in his sunset year’s dead broke; the old John is going to be broke.

The same is true in matters of the disposition. I can look at some younger people & just know they’ll have a hard time growing older. They are fractious & ungracious, without a modicum of the ability to laugh off things they can’t change. Getting older for them will be a horrible experience. Many of them do nothing to cultivate friendships & even alienate their own families.

Rarely do we find “Grumpy old men” who weren't grumpy young men. Conversely, rarely do we find “dear sweet old ladies” who were not “dear sweet young ladies.” The attitudes & habits we develop as we grow tend to stay with us & become all the more embedded as we age.

6. Develop a sense of humor.

Good humor is the secret to good aging. If you can’t think of anything to smile about let me help you. Here are a few benefits of growing old;

# Kidnappers aren’t very interested in you.
# In a hostage situation you’re likely to be released first.
# No one expects you to run into a burning building.
# You’ve probably sown all the wild oats you’re going to sow.
# There’s very little to learn the hard way.
# You’re too old to die young.
# When you have a party the neighbors never realize it.
# You can compare notes when talking about operations.
# You have better weather forecasters in your joints than the national Weather Service.
# Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house. The wives left the table after eating & the husbands were talking. One said, “Last night we had a meal at a great restaurant & I can highly recommend it.” The other man said, “What was the name of the restaurant?” The first man thought & thought & finally said, “What’s the name of the flower you give to someone you love? You know…the one that’s red & has thorns?” “Do you mean rose?”
Yes,” the man replied. He turned toward the kitchen & yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of the restaurant we went to last night?”

7. See the older years as rich, full, productive years.

# Two-thirds of the worlds most creative people are over 60.
# More than two-thirds of the men & women in medicine, education, science, government & the arts are over 60.
# Roughly 10% of those attending college are over 50.
# Strom Thurmond was a U.S Senator at his death at 100.
# David Ray of Franklin TN. learned to read at 99.
# Paul Spangler completed his 14th marathon at age 92.
# Michelangelo painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel lying on his back on a scaffold when he was almost 90.
#At 91, Hulda Crooks climbed Mount Whitney the highest mountain in the Continental United States.
# Will Durant finished his five-volume History of Civilization at age 89.
# Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote “Crossing the bar” at 83.
# Ben Franklin was still working in the government at 78 & wrote his autobiography when he was 80.
# John Glenn went into space aboard the space shuttle when he was 77.

Many of those who led the Kingdom of God forward in Scripture were older people;

# Noah
# Abraham & Sarah
# Caleb
# Job
# Anna
# The Apostle Paul

8. Never quit.

We never know when the Lord will call us home. All of us know someone who was supposed to die & lived on well past that date. I’ve learned not to bury people until they’re dead & ready to be buried. God loves to pull surprises & He does so regularly.

Keep in mind that no matter your age you may wind up living 10 or 15 more years, who knows. In fact some people actually live a quarter of their life after retirement. Wouldn’t it be a shame, maybe even a sin if we wasted 25% of our lives here on earth sitting on our differential?

Several years ago the Associated Press ran the story of Andre Raffray. Thirty years prior to that time at the age of 47 he worked out a real estate deal with Jeanne Calment age 90. He would pay her $500 each month until her death, in order to secure ownership of her apartment in Arles France. She could continue to live in her house until she passed away, however when she eventually did die the apartment would then belong to Raffray.

Unfortunately for Raffray, Jeanne Calment became the world’s oldest person. At the time the AP published this account Calment was still alive at the age of 120. She outlived Raffray who died in December 1995 at the age of 77. He paid $184,000 for an apartment he never lived in. According to the contract, Raffray’s survivors had to continue payment until Mrs. Calment’s death. Here’s a very good piece of wisdom; retire if you must, just keep on living.

9. Share your faith in Jesus Christ.

Nothing is as powerful as an older person who's successfully walked the road of faith through the trials of life.

I’m sure I’ll have little to leave to my children but I can leave them a good name, a name that bears no reproach. I would want them to know that I prayed regularly for them & be assured of my love for them. I would also want to leave them a strong witness of my faith in God.


10. Be ready for death.

By the way, you might find it interesting to know that the health club memberships for those over 65 & older are up nearly 150% in recent years. Older folk are taking better care of themselves & it’s paying off in longer life spans.

Nevertheless, the Bible says death will eventually come to us all or Christ will come for us by way of the rapture. You may not believe in rapture, or catching away of the saints, but if you’re saved, you’ll be leaving anyway.

Paul once called himself “Paul the aged.” It was as an old man that he wrote, “To live is Christ, and to die is gain.He also made it clear that though he was willing to continue living in this life, he much preferred going home to be with the Lord. God wants us to live life to the full but He also wants us to live eternity to the full as well. He not only wants us to grow old, he wants us to grow old in the Lord.

If you haven’t spent time in Psalm 71, I urge you to go back & read it for it’s a template for aging. The Psalm ends with a prayer for revival. Life for the aged man now has only one meaning & that’s to bring praise to God & extol His mighty works.

Growing old doesn't guarantee we make & keep friends, nor that there won’t be times when we feel very much alone. But the writer of this Psalm has come to the final stage of his life prepared in the best possible way.

Hear what he says;

 -- For you, O Lord are my hope my trust O Lord from my youth. Upon you have I leaned from my birth; it was you who took me from my mother’s womb. My praise is continually of you. [Vs. 5-6]


Blessings,


John