Christmas Blues

By John Stallings


For many of us, Christmas is the joy of being with those we love.

But for many people, the Christmas holidays aren’t a celebration, they’re a time of tension, disappointment, loneliness, and frustration. For many there won’t be a “holly jolly Christmas.”

There are millions who are alone or who find themselves in conflict with others or estranged from family, or who have just faced a loss of a loved one. To these the holiday times are painful reminders that we don’t look like the ideal Christmas card with the happy, smiling faces of family gathered around a festive table.

For some, the financial difficulties of trying to create a holiday time with an overabundance of food and gifts for everyone creates stress in itself, preventing us from enjoying the holiday time. The joys of what we are told is a blissful time, becomes a time of depression, a time of darkness.
Christmas can trigger a sadness that we don’t have that perfect family that we think everyone else has. We hear others talk about getting together with their family and it sounds so ideal. Many of us are blessed to have large extended families who all get along, more or less.

In America, we now have the added stress of knowing that we have an avowed enemy, militant
Muslim extremists who would love nothing better than to attack us during this season, especially on Christmas day. Christmas can be marred by;

-Unrealistic expectations.
-Financial pressure.
-Busy schedule.
-Family conflict.
Etc. Etc. Etc.

The Christmas season can be a time where we feel constantly overextended but it should be a time, no matter what our circumstances, when we experience the profound sense of God’s presence in our lives. Hopefully a time when we connect with our friends and loved ones on a deeper level.

However, if we examine the Christmas story we don’t find anything that suggests a time of abundance, a time of great family togetherness. It’s the story of a baby being born in a stable because his parents were traveling to pay their taxes to an oppressive government. This is not a story of great celebration. This family is poor. There was some question about the legitimacy of the child’s parentage. Is this a story about prosperity and joy?

To put it bluntly, the Christmas story, while a story of great unimaginable hope, isn’t founded on big happy families sitting around a festive table of great abundance.

Maybe it would be helpful on this day and at this time if you and I rethink Christmas just a bit.

Rethink our expectations.

People who struggle with disappointment during Christmas often approach the holidays with the wrong kind of focus—they put too much energy into trying to make it a perfect Christmas for themselves. Instead of thinking about what we will get, let’s think about what we can give.

Rethink our obligations.

This time of year it’s easy to get very busy, and there’s all this stuff that you HAVE to do, and your schedule spins in circles till you finally realize there’s no way you can do it all. Remind yourself: “I have to rethink my schedule and make sure I do those things that are most important.” Jesus came so that we could learn how to spend our days not serving ourselves, but serving him. When we help others, not only does it benefit them, it benefits us as well.

I know this won’t tickle anyone’s ears but on this Christmas, there’s a multitude of people who actually need food and clothing more than they need toys or other gifts. I also know that some people aren’t in a position to give expensive gifts, maybe things they could have given last Christmas. But am I being too corny when I suggest that a gift can still be baked goods, even a poem written from the heart or-now –listen carefully- promising a special task for a loved one sometime now or during the year ahead?

When I was a kid, [in the dark ages, as my mother used to say] we couldn’t afford expensive gadgets. I never had a new bicycle but the used ones worked just as good. What we needed most were clothes and that's usually what we got but we sure were dressed to kill when school started back.

This may be the corniest blog I’ve ever written but maybe it’s because I feel a little differently than I’ve ever felt. Juda got several beautiful candles as gifts this year and she dearly loves scented candles. Maybe the thought of sitting in the dark with some candles lit isn’t the worst thing that could happen to us. [our electric lights are still on-ptl!]

Maybe this Christmas has or will only accentuate your losses over the past year. Maybe you’ll be reminded that your life isn’t working out the way you planned. A quiet time of sitting in the dark, with some candles lit, really could be an "enlightening" experience.

The dark may remind us of our losses, but the lit candles remind us of the light that Christ has strewn across our pathway. It’s a reminder that we do come through the dark times, that we do have Christ’s strength within, and that Christmas is about a child who was born into this world to bring hope to all humankind. A light shining in darkness.

As the angel in Luke proclaims, “Peace on Earth, and goodwill to men!”


Every Blessing,

John

Have a blessed Christmas