When Abigail Met David

by John Stallings



“Either you have it or you don’t.”

Ever heard that one? It’s true. It’s difficult to describe the giftedness, the magic or the charisma of the few who seem to be blessed almost no matter what they do. Put it any way you want; “they are on the fast track, their star is rising.” Nothing average folk could do would ever measure up against them.

They are natural born communicators and are looked up to as brilliant by all who meet them. Their timing seems always impeccable. They only have to smile and presto, their charm carries them through any situation. The birds seem to come out of trees and sit on their shoulders. They somehow disarm everyone as they sail through life with none of the problems common to others.

The most careful observation to try to analyze them falls short. They remain a riddle, enveloped in an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, their essence never really isolated and defined. Whatever this quality is, it’s undeniable and anywhere they go people recognize it. They can walk into a room and everyone turns to look not realizing why. Seldom are they the most beautiful or handsome one in the group but still they stand out as if they were. They have great personalities but that still doesn’t give a satisfying answer to what this “It” is they possess.

Even as children, they could do no wrong. They are called “golden boys” or “golden girls” with “special, indefinable qualities.” We know them when we see them but can’t find words to describe why they are different. They were the ones who got all the stars and awards while the teachers never knew it was they who brought the spiders to class. They are consistently in all the “most popular, “most likely to succeed” and “best liked” categories. They live their lives surrounded by admirers and whatever the circumstances, always get a second chance. They have the “Midas touch” and whatever happens they always land on their feet. They are the rare, the few.

IN THE BIBLE, DAVID IS SUCH A PERSON

His life story reads like the story of Cinderella. If it could ever be said that one man had it all it would be David. He was ruddy cheeked and richly endowed with qualities that made people see him as kingly. He had great common sense, was eloquent and had an ability of making and keeping life- long friends. He had a great heart with a gargantuan capacity for love. He was a sweet-singer, poet, lyricist composer and prolific scribe. He was an undefeated athlete, a musician, warrior, pop-hero, crafty politician, magnetic and handsome, father of his country, founder of a dynasty, impulsive sinner, pious saint, had a bright eyed zest for life and he never makes an unforgivable mistake. Seemingly when he is born God has already decided to cherish him while Saul ultimately plunges into madness for his blunders and sins. To put it succinctly, David with all his dents and dings is nonetheless “A man after God’s own heart.”

David was born in Bethlehem, the youngest of eight sons. It was his music that first opened the doors for him. He started as an armor bearer for King Saul and was catapulted to fame by a victory over the Philistine giant Goliath.

He finds his way into the royal family by his friendship with Jonathan, Saul’s son and ends up marrying Michal, thus becoming Saul’s son-in-law and part of the royal family. David had favor with the prophet Samuel causing the jealousy of Saul to grow more and more towards him. Samuel comes right out and tells Saul that God has chosen another to rule Israel. It seems evident who it is when the women dance in the streets singing, “Saul has killed his thousands while David has killed his ten thousands.”

King Saul’s grip on sanity starts to unravel as he sees David’s massive appeal and finally tries to kill him, putting him on the lam. The following story in 1Samuel 25, takes place while David is a fugitive from Saul.

Amid the rich tapestry of Bible stories, none stands out more than this one. Among this stories many sub- plots, one is the quintessential story of a good woman in a bad marriage. I believe it serves well as a pattern for Christian women living with unregenerate husbands. It’s the story of a woman named Abigail; a gracious, smart woman married to a very wealthy but stingy, sullen, and Ill-bred man named Nabal.

Nabal was from the linage of Caleb and from outward appearances he had much going for him. He was a wealthy landowner, had three thousand sheep and a thousand goats and was married to the beautiful, intelligent, eloquent woman Abigail. There was one very unfortunate thing for Nabal however, his name actually means “foolish, and in this story he lives up to his name big time. He obviously has a bad personality disorder made worse by a tendency to hit the wine bottle, hard. Nabal was what some today would call a Jerk, and believe me that don’t overstate the case. You might call him a loser but perhaps he’s in the “better class of losers” category. The story is intriguing; containing many of the same elements that exist in stories of couples we see today when the matchmaker makes a bad match.

Abigail had no way to know that she was getting ready to be a cast -member in a melodrama that would take her down in history as a tragic heroine but also as role-model for all good women caught in bad marriages.

The passionate and intrigue filled drama unfolds when David and his band of about four to six hundred men were camping not far from Nabal and Abigail’s home. David’s proximity to their ranch made it possible for his men to serve as protection for Nabal’s men and herds from time to time. This detail is important for it answers the question of why David was so quick to ask such a large favor of Nabal.

Abigail had for some time been hearing about this man David. She’d heard about his killing of Goliath and his many other exploits. Of course, most everyone knew about the enmity between David and Saul. Abigail is aware that David and his men are camped not far from where she lived. Most of Israel knew that David during this time was walking a thin line between being on the run and looking like a criminal and just taking the things he needed. Food & provisions for an army like his was a big concern.

One day David sent ten of his men down to Nabal’s house to ask him to share provisions with his men. It was sheep shearing time and David knew Nabal would be preparing plenty of food for the shearers, and there would probably be a surplus available. Maybe they could share it with David and his men.

It wasn’t going to happen. When David’s men came to Nabal and politely stated they came in David’s name making a request for food, Nabal showed his worst side, treating them in a harsh, spiteful manner and refusing to give them anything. He had some bad things to say but suffice to say he let the men know he held David in contempt and wasn’t going to share a morsel with them. The young men departed politely and quickly went on their way to report back to David. When they returned to camp and told David what Nabal said, he flew into a purple rage.

Being the warrior that he was, and faced with the responsibility of feeding his army, David immediately flew off the handle and declared war, gathering his men to march down to Nabal’s compound. David was so livid at the insult that he fully intended to kill every male in Nabal’s household.

It’s important to realize that one act of anger can destroy a life. Proverbs 16:32 says,-- “HE THAT IS SLOW TO ANGER IS BETTER THAN THE MIGHTY AND HE THAT RULETH HIS SPIRIT THAN HE THAT TAKETH A CITY.”

Jails are full of people who like David, in a moment of anger, acted in a rash manner destroying themselves as well as the lives of others. The good thing about anger, if I can call anything about anger good, is that it’s one of the quickest emotions to cool if just given a moment or two. Yet anger takes its terrible toll because people don’t have the patience and self-control to wait and give themselves a chance to calm down.

Ephesians 3:31 says, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice.”

Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be angry and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.
Not only was David angry, he was going to compound the problem by taking vengeance which he knew was wrong. Vengeance belongs to God and David knew this but his hot temper was overriding his judgment. God takes a dim view of people seeking vengeance.

In Genesis 4; 14-15, God marked Cain and said anyone who harmed him would pay seven-fold. Even though Cain had committed murder, God wanted no man to punish him. Think of the havoc that would be wreaked if every man took the law into his own hands. In an instant all of society would break down and slide into chaos.

Romans 12:19, says: =Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves but rather give place unto wrath: for it vengeance is mine and I will repay, saith the Lord.”

God will fight our battles if we will only give him time & His sense of timing is impeccable. When Nabal’s wife Abigail hears that David’s men had been insulted and sent away by her mean spirited husband, she immediately knew what must be done. She knows that her husband has acted foolishly and if something isn’t done quickly to quell David’s anger, the blood of all the men in her family and in their employ will very likely be spilled. So Abigail springs into action.

There are some things that shouldn’t be acted on hastily & are better left to simmer and not acted on too hurriedly; but there are other times when all will be lost if someone doesn’t take charge quickly.

Abigail knows she is faced with a time sensitive situation so she must strike while the iron is hot to save the day for her husband and family. It’s amazing how fast she moved, quickly loading several donkeys with two hundred loaves of bread, wine, five dressed sheep ready to cook, fruits, two hundred cakes and other goodies. This woman is a marvel. If it could ever be said that a woman was a multi-tasker, it was Abigail in this story.

She moves with great haste for she must get to David to curb the angry attack she knows is coming. When she finally reaches David on the road, (ver.23) she jumps off the donkey she’s riding & falls down in front of him and gives one of the longest speeches by a woman in the entire Bible. She shows her wisdom, loyalty, humility and determination in the appeal she made to David.


Here we see a good woman trying to protect her husband when everyone who knew him knew he wasn’t worth protecting. Often, in life, a right woman finds herself married to a wrong man. At that point we ponder and ask the age old question; WHAT’S A WOMAN TO DO?

What Abigail did was, in spite of her husband’s faults, stand up for him endeavoring to save him from himself. She would rectify his awful blunder if it was in the realm of possibility. Abigail knew her loyalty to her husband was loyalty to God.

When we make our wedding vows we are making them not only to the other person but also before God. To just cast our vows aside without a second thought because of some real or perceived weakness in a partner, is tantamount to the abortion of a relationship.

In I Peter 3:1-3 Peter talks about how a woman can win an ungodly husband by her Godly lifestyle. Peter tells the woman that without even bringing the Word of God into it, she can witness to her husband by the way she lives her life. I am in no way defending husbands who mistreat their wives here. Nor am I placing all the onus on the wife to make up for all the wrongs a husband might be committing.

What I am saying is that God’s Word teaches that He will honor a wife or a husband in a marriage when they take a stand for righteousness and live in a faithful, Godly manner even in the worst of circumstances. In a nut-shell,--we must endeavor to do the absolute most we can for as long as we can.

Abigail isn’t out to defame her husband, she is protecting him. She sees his terrible faults and admits he has acted foolishly but still she pleads with David to spare him. I have known women who put up with terrible husbands for many years because they loved them and didn’t want to give them up to the devil. Certainly if certain lines are crossed in a marriage a spouse doesn’t have to stay in it but it’s also possible for marital victory to be snatched from the jaws of defeat. Abigail realizes Nabal has by his foolishness, brought all this danger on himself but still she’s prepared to do what she can to save him and the rest of her household.

Abigail doesn’t even consider appealing to her husband before she goes; probably because she knows him good enough to know how stubborn he is. Plus, there is no time. She does the next best thing and goes around him doing the only thing she knows to do to stop David from killing him. Can anyone sing---Stand by your man?” Abigail even asks David to put her husband’s guilt and punishment on her head. What a woman. Don’t think for a moment that God doesn’t take note of this sort of thing. Abigail will be honored and her life will soon change for the better because of her loyalty to her husband.

Sometimes this same principle works in a church where Pastoral leadership is lacking and a strong member of the congregation will fill in the gap rather than see important things neglected. This of course is a far cry from usurping authority and taking it away from the rightful leader who’s trying to do his job. The only time God would countenance this would be in a case of dereliction of the leader’s duty, and then if it’s done at all it would be wise to make it a “kid-glove” matter.

This also happens in homes where there is weak male leadership. Oft times rather than see things go down the drain because of weak or non existent male leadership, a strong wife will of necessity assume leadership. A man who doesn’t step up to the plate and lead shouldn’t complain if a woman steps in to save the floundering family ship.

This is exactly what is happening here with Nabal and Abigail.

She doesn’t criticize her husband even though he did a foolish thing. She pleads for his life at the same time reminding David that he’s also getting ready to do a foolish thing, and if he doesn’t stop and think will have blood on his hands.

David is visibly moved by Abigail’s intervention.

Upon hearing Abigail’s plea his head starts to clear and good sense begins to prevail. As it usually happens in these emotional situations, when David had a little time to think he was relieved that Abigail had stopped him. One thing about David was that once he saw his fault he’d fall on his face and ask forgiveness. In contrast, if that had been King Saul, he’d probably have started making excuses for what he’d done to cloud the issue. This is the mark of a small man. But David immediately became sorrowful and repentant. This woman in one quick action stood in the gap between two hot-headed men, saving David from himself. She also gets credit for straightening out her husband’s mess.

When Abigail gets back home, she finds her husband having a drunken party so she puts him to bed drunk and waits until morning to talk with him about what has happened. When Nabal awoke the next morning and was sober enough to talk, Abigail told him what she’d done in going to meet David and how his anger against him had been assuaged. When Nabal heard this he had a strange reaction, at least for so obviously an insensitive person. The Bible says his heart became like a rock.

His reaction to his wife’s actions hit him like a thunderbolt and it devastated him. His male pride had been so damaged and the humiliation so complete that it shook him to his core and he just couldn’t get over it. His utter stupidity had come home to haunt him as he realized that in all his foolish male bravado, he had almost destroyed his family. Were it not for his wife’s good sense and quick wit, he’d be dead. Nabal just could not deal with that fact and for ten days he remained like a walking ghost, unresponsive, and dead while he lived. When a man goes against God he ultimately dies spiritually and in a great sense he is dead while he lives. At this point, Nabal becomes a dead man walking.

Exactly ten days later, God steps in and kills Nabal.

The Bible actually says that God killed the man. (Vrs.38) There’s a sin unto death spiritually but there’s also a physical sin unto to death. In the book of Acts, Ananias and Sapphira were struck dead for lying to the Holy Ghost. God reserves the right to end a life when he deems it necessary.

However, there’s no doubt Abigail would have gone on making the best of the bad situation had not God intervened.

When David learned that Nabal had died, he sent men to Abigail and asked for her hand in marriage. He had been so favorable impressed with her intervention for Nabal that he saw the streak of greatness in her. All Abigail could say was, “well, I’m available.”

There’s no doubt that if Abigail hadn’t been a faithful woman and hadn’t moved so heroically to save her husband, her life would have turned out much different. Instead of taking it upon herself to punish her unworthy husband, she acted to protect him and God honored her for that action.

In these kinds of complex issues, if leadership isn’t acting in a responsible manner, we should take the high road, honoring God by being loyal and respectful to them. In so doing we are pleasing God. If we want authority we must know how to be under authority. There are times in life when we may not be able to respect the individual but we should still respect the office they hold.

When you read this story can your see yourself anywhere in it? Nabal was a victim of his own impetuosity and quick tongue. Are there places in your live where you’ve been Nabal-like? Where your words have been hasty and harsh? When you see how David acted in this story can you see some of yourself in his hot temper and quickness to fly off the handle?

What about his good traits, like David’s being approachable and flexible when faced with the truth? Can you see that or perhaps the lack of it in your life?

What about Abigail? Can you identify with her, and feel that at times you’ve had to serve as peacemaker for those around you who had no control over their emotions? Does Abigail’s example of loyalty to her husband inspire you to be more supportive of those you love and be more patient in standing by them?

Multitudes of rewards come for that kind of grace in a life. Sooner or later, if we go on living, we will be handed one of these complicated life situations. We will be called upon to dig deeply into our hearts and souls for a love and commitment we scarcely knew we possessed, and will be tested in ways we never expected.

But look who we’re working for; God is in a position to promote us and give us more than we can imagine, for as He said...


All the earth is mine!

Blessings,


John