My Evil Twin

By John Stallings

Over the years as a pastor/evangelist, I’ve spoken in prisons as well as counseled with inmates, visited hospitals where people had been seriously injured in car wrecks, & dealt with parents who had children involved in substance abuse & were in trouble with the law.

 On occasion I've even gone to court with a youngster to ask for leniency from the judge when appropriate.

In all these years of trying to help people, do you want me to tell you a statement I’ve heard people make hundreds of times? It’s been one of the most oft spoken statements I can remember. The statement goes something like this, [sometimes a parent will say it about their offspring or the individual will say it about themselves]. "You know, preacher, my child is in this trouble because they just fell in with the wrong crowd.” –Or—“You know, I’m incarcerated because I just started running with the wrong crowd.”—Or—“Brother, I wouldn’t be in this mess if I hadn’t started running with a bad crowd.”

Now, do you want to hear something I’ve never heard anybody say? Here it is: I’ve never heard a person say, “You know brother, I’m trouble on the hoof. I’m “Hell on wheels.” I’m strictly bad news. I’m the person your mother warned you to stay away from. To be perfectly honest, most people who hung around with me got in trouble because of my bad self. If I could just get myself straightened out, most of my problems would be solved.”

I’ve just never heard those words pass the lips of a living human on this earth. I’ve spoken to scores of counselors; both Christian & secular & none of them ever heard it either. We just don’t hear people say things even remotely akin to that do we? We all want to believe that we’re the good guys; it’s those other folks who keep messing things up.

I’ve heard several politicians say recently, you know, president Obama has come to Washington & gotten in with the wrong crowd.” Could it just be possible that these people ought to read some of Obama’s own writings? If they did & were honest, they’d see Obama didn’t fall in with the wrong crowd, he is in many respects-- the wrong crowd.

LET'S BE REAL HERE

In a way, we’re all the wrong crowd. Were it not for the fact that we’ve turned our lives over to the Lord & are allowing Christ to live out His life through us, we’d all be bad seed. The Bible says there is none righteous, not one. If we didn’t know Christ, we’d all be cruel, mean, wicked, evil & nasty, self-indulgent sinners on our way to hell in a hand-basket! You & I must receive the righteousness of Christ to be saved & go to heaven.

We’re quick to look at others & criticize but in truth we need to be sweeping around our own front doors. After king Uzziah died, Isaiah went to the temple & had a vision of the Lord. He tells us that His train filled the whole temple. When Isaiah saw the Lord, he cried out,-“Woe is me for I’m a man of unclean lips & I dwell in the midst of a people with unclean lips.” Some people say, “Woe is the preacher, woe is my spouse, woe are my parents, woe are my children, & woe is my neighbor, but they never get around to saying, “Woe is me.”

HERE'S ANOTHER STATEMENT YOU'LL OFTEN HEAR....

“You know, my spouse has abused me a lot through the years. It’s usually not physical abuse; it’s more emotional abuse & verbal abuse. But you know, basically my spouse has a really good heart.” You’ll hear folk say, “I’m a good person, I just lose control occasionally & say things I’m later sorry I said. But I’m always willing to apologize. Anyone who knows me will tell you I’d give you the shirt right off my back. I’ve always had a really “good heart.” We all want to believe that deep down our hearts are in the right place. We’ll say, “Well I really didn’t mean what I said I was just upset.” Oh you meant it alright! You meant every word of it. Maybe you wish you hadn’t said it because it got you in a jam but you still meant it. Jesus said a fountain can’t bring forth both sweet & bitter water. What you said could have never been said unless it was in your heart so let’s quit kidding ourselves.

Let’s stop a moment & analyze this. “I’ve got a good heart I just “lose it once in a while” & pop-off but I don’t really mean it.” This begs a question; how on God’s green earth can we say a person who is constantly offending people, tongue-lashing those around them, uses profanity or any sort of abusive language—how can a person like that possibly be said to have a good heart?

Jesus said in Luke 6:45, “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”

Whether a person has a “good heart” or not is right there in front of you & in front of them; how do they talk? What we say doesn’t come out of our head; it comes straight from the heart. We need to get this heart/tongue connection straight. You don’t have to have a degree in psychology to figure this one out folks. It’s a “piece of cake.” Listen to people talk, that’s all you need to do. You don’t have to be afraid that you’re judging someone to make this assessment. If you & I believe the Bible it’s very clear; Bad mouth—bad heart. But thank God a bad heart can be changed.

Now before you start feeling too condemned, let me hasten to say, we all make mistakes with our tongues. James said it would take a perfect person to never offend with our tongues.

ISAIAH’S HEART AND LIPS WERE PURGED

Going back to Isaiah, he tells us in his sixth chapter that when he confessed he had unclean lips, an angel flew down with tongs holding coals of fire from off God’s alter & placed them on his lips. The angel also told him his sin was forgiven & he was purged.

This leads me to my subject.

MY EVIL TWIN

I have this evil twin.

 I do my best to keep him hidden in the basement but somehow he still shows himself from time to time. Not only do I have an evil twin, you do too. We all do! That’s what Paul was talking about in Romans 7 when he spoke of the dual nature that struggled within him. The way Paul talked his evil twin or nature was incapable of doing right but as he struggled, as he died to his flesh man, walked the walk & talked the talk, & stayed yielded to God, God gave him victory. He starts off that extraordinary chapter 8 with his famous words;--There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh but after the spirit.

If I show up for breakfast, everything will be fine because I’m a super-nice guy. But if my evil twin shows up, get on your knees & start praying. I’m a patient man but my evil twin is grumpy & irritable. I’m a rather generous guy& I especially love supporting God’s work but my evil twin is stingy & selfish with his money. I’m usually a very soft-spoken person but my evil twin can get loud & obnoxious.

I refuse to be a party to confusion. I love peace & tranquility but my evil twin carries a chip on his shoulder & thrives on conflict & confrontation. I’m a stickler for paying my debts on time but my evil twin thinks credit cards are free money & gets a big kick out of over-spending.

I’m a forgiving & trusting person but this evil twin of mine holds grudges & thinks everyone is out to get him. I’m sensitive to people’s feelings. But my evil twin is rude, & will walk all over people’s feelings & never give it a thought.

I can trust God implicitly. I’m usually upbeat & optimistic because God has never let me down but my evil twin is an incessant doubter & worrier & is usually “down in the dumps.” I strive to always speak the truth in love but my evil twin is prone to exaggeration & has a penchant for slanting everything to make himself look good. My evil twin is a shameless self-promoter. He’s very egotistical & enjoys keeping the spotlight on him. Its second nature for me to do the right thing but my evil twin has to constantly be reminded of what’s right & then still has a problem doing it. I don’t have a problem keeping my temper under control but my evil twin is hypersensitive, is ruled by his emotions & will sulk & throw temper tantrums.

When I’m driving I’m usually very patient & courteous but my evil twin is always getting upset & does all sorts of things to show his displeasure to other drivers. I absolutely wont knowingly embarrass anyone but my evil twin can be so downright uncouth to people that I hate to go anywhere with him. You can dress him up but you can’t take him out. I’m a thankful person & realize how blessed I am & how much I owe to God & others but my evil twin is an ingrate & thinks the whole world revolves around him. What a jerk!!!

I’m usually very happy & well adjusted. It doesn’t take all that much for me to be comfortable. I especially enjoy the simplest pleasures like taking my wife or friends out to eat or even for coffee. [Half decaf.] My evil twin on the other hand is almost never happy & must be entertained constantly or he’s miserable. I’m a loyal person & supportive person but my evil twin is critical & his only loyalty is to himself.

If I have a problem with someone I go to them & seek reconciliation & when wrong I apologize. I thrive on things being right with everyone. My evil twin however would never apologize, loves to gossip & really has no interest in getting along. I’m very understanding & usually ignore slights but my evil twin is very easily offended by what people say in unguarded moments. He jumps to conclusions & always thinks the worst about every situation.

I hope I’m not leaving you with the impression that I think I’m some kind of super-Christian.

 Far from it. Even at best I sometimes do things that aren’t thoughtful but as soon as I see it or it’s pointed out to me I’m quick to make restitution. I miss the mark from time to time, maybe even more than most Christians, & it breaks my heart & makes me miserable & I can’t wait to pray & get it right with the Lord.

But guess who’s not like that at all? Right! My evil twin. He can do no wrong in his eyes. If you wait for him to apologize they’ll be ice-skating in the hot place below. I’m a hard worker & know nothing of value can ever be produced without it but this evil twin of mine enjoys nothing better than to be idle & non-productive. He’s a card carrying member of the “spit & whittle club.”

By now you know how ashamed I am of this twin & don’t really want people to know he’s my kin. But it seems as if I’ll never be free of him. I guess you could say the one good thing about this mess of a man I’m shackled with is that he keeps me on my toes & causes me to be constantly vigilant.

But I’ve wised up to this rascal twin of mine. As long as I stay spiritually fortified the more & more he stays in the background. I’ve also observed that he only comes around when he knows I’m the weakest. It’s at these times I see that his objective is to somehow push me into the background & be the dominate one. Believe me; I know that by God’s grace that will never happen. The key to that is my staying strong by daily communion with God & hiding His word in me.

SOMETHING IRONIC ABOUT MY EVIL TWIN

I hope this isn’t boring you but another thing I’ve learned about this miserable mess I deal with is; and this to me is a little strange; my personal outward accomplishments & successes don’t seem to bother him. He seems to take pleasure in it & sometimes comes in to join me if I’m celebrating some new acquisition or achievement. He delights in things shiny & materialistic. It’s just when I’m growing stronger in my inner man that he seems not to show up to celebrate with me.

I could hate this twin of mine but loathing him doesn’t seem to be the answer. Personal vigilance is my only answer.

LOATHING MY EVIL TWIN WOULD BE ALMOST LIKE HATING PART OF ME!

As a matter of fact, it would be exactly like hating part of me. OK, by now I’m sure you’ve figured out that I don’t have such an evil twin.OR DO I?

In truth, this evil twin is the dark, fallen side of me. It’s the part of me that as Paul said—MUST DIE DAILY! 1 Cor.15:31. As mentioned earlier, we all have our own evil twin living inside us. That part of us represents our old nature. Again Paul said—I keep my body under subjection, lest that by any means when I have preached to others I myself should be a castaway. 1 Cor. 9:27.

This evil twin can show up when we least expect him & are least prepared to deal with him. Jesus spoke of this principle when he said,-The spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak. Matthew 26:41. You could put it this way;-I used to be a FULL TIME SINNER, & every once in a while I’d accidentally luck out & do something right. Now I’m a FULL TIME CHRISTIAN, & once in a while I’ll slip & fall but when I do, I’m immediately convicted & get things right.

I once read a story about a man who had this recurring dream. He said that in this dream every time there was a red-letter day in his life, a dark, hooded character would emerge from the shadows & do something to ruin whatever he was engaged in at the time.

He dreamed that at his high school graduation this hooded creature came up on stage & took his diploma from his hand, tore it up & threw it down. At his wedding the creature came into the church & tore down the decorations frightening the audience almost to the point of panic. In this mans dream the hooded creature would always show up to ruin things for him.

One day as this man was praying he begged God to show him the meaning of this awful dream & the identity of this dark hooded creature. In a moment of spiritual revelation & epiphany, the hood fell off the dark creature & the man was shocked to see that it was him. Yes, the being that was destroying his life was his old, carnal, unregenerate self, dogging him & seeking control.

Friend, there is always that fleshly part of us that if allowed to, will come screaming back to take control. Even after years of serving God our flesh still remembers what it wants.

In Romans 6:13 Paul said—let not sin reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it or the lust of the flesh thereof.

In Galatians 5:16, he says again, -This I say then, Walk in the spirit & ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.

Sometimes the most mystifying concept can be illustrated best by the simplest story.

A small boy was telling someone how he felt inside, being torn between doing right & doing wrong. He said he felt as if there were two dogs inside him having a fight or a tug of war. When they asked him who usually won the fights he answered, “The one I say “sic-em” to always wins. That part of us that will grow thrive & grow strong will be the part that we feed & cultivate. Cultivation is a fancy word for hard work. If you & I feed the flesh man or evil twin, he’ll grow stronger & stronger. If we feed the spirit man the flesh man grows weak & ineffectual.

THE LAW OF SIN & DEATH OR THE LAW OF THE SPIRIT OF LIFE IN CHRIST JESUS, these are the twin laws that represent the two forces that struggle.

Paul again declares; I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, yet not I but Christ liveth in me: 

and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the son of God who loved me & gave Himself for me. I do not frustrate the grace of God; for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain.-Galatians 2:20-21

Blessings,

John