Are You A "Forever Victim?"

By John Stallings


Did you know….. The “stimulus Bill” that has obviously been passed in Washington D.C. [incidentally a Bill that no one has totally read,] contains a provision allowing citizens to sue for health consequences of “Global warming?”

That’s right! Though all the details aren’t clear, it seems that this provision would make it possible for an individual to sue if say, their asthma was aggravated by the quality of the air i.e. - pollutants that could be traced back to climate change.

In my view this means we’ve jumped to an assumption of “Global Warming,” & started building on that assumption. It seems to me that this only serves to fortify what we already have an overabundance of in America - the “victim mentality.”

I’ve walked through some dark valleys in my life & times as I’m sure you have, & one thing is certain; at some point we must decide if we’re going to be perpetual victims or victors.

SOME PEOPLE ARE HIGHLY INVESTED IN YOUR BEING A FOREVER VICTIM.

When King David sinned with Bathsheba & a child was born, the baby was taken gravely ill with a sickness that would prove fatal. David was so emotionally distraught over the child’s sickness he laid on the ground for seven days & refused to eat while he wept & prayed for God to spare the child.

When told the baby had died, David got up off the ground, got cleaned up, changed clothes, went to the house of God to worship & then sat down to eat a meal.

His servants seemed to be displeased with how David handled the situation, even asking him why he’d react in such a way to his child’s death. How could he be taking it so cavalierly? David gave as good an answer as could have been given at such a time. He told his servants in essence,

“Look, while the child was alive there was a chance that God would hear my prayer & spare his life. But now I know that God isn’t going to answer that prayer. The child is dead. What do you want me to do, sit & mourn the rest of my life? That would be the same as jumping in the grave with the baby. I did all I could possibly do to change this situation. I fasted & wept & prayed, but the baby’s dead now so that’s that. I will see the child again in heaven someday but as for now, I’m going to eat something to get my strength back & go on living.” Yeah for David!

SOME FOLK DON’T WANT TO SEE US GO ON

Though it’s awful to have to say it, there will always be those people who don’t want to see us up; they want to see us down. They don’t like it when we go on in spite of our problems. They take great pleasure in our pain & suffering [though they’d never admit it.] They want us to go the rest of our lives with our head hanging down & a perpetual look of grief etched on our face.

Are you familiar with the term Schadenfreude? It’s a word describing a condition in which a person takes pleasure in the pain of another. The dictionary describes it as follows;

“Malicious joy in the misfortunes of others. Damage joy.”

This condition is catalogued under mental illness. Think about that;

A person who takes delight in the misfortunes of another person actually is mentally deranged. As some people say-if you don’t believe me, “Google it.”

There are many folk who suffer from Schadenfreude. This is going to sound a little harsh but-there are a lot of crazy people around. Be honest, haven’t you said that yourself from time to time? These servants of David acted like they resented his ability to get over the death of his baby.

But look at the results of this attitude in David’s life. In the self-same chapter, 2 Samuel 12, where his baby died, David & Bathsheba got pregnant again & this time she gave birth to Solomon. When David’s baby died a small piece of him died, but it was just a small piece of him. David himself didn’t die & he proved that before the chapter was over by fathering the child who would grow up to be the “wisest man who ever lived.”

If you’ve had a loss in your life, for the sake of your sanity, put that loss in perspective. Don’t let any loss become a defining point in your life. Please hear me well;

If you’ve given your best to a person, a situation or a relationship, & you know you’ve given your very best to try to save it & keep it alive, then if that person or relationship dies, let it die & go on with your life. Your life story or mine isn’t going to revolve around anyone who left before the story was complete & that includes a spouse, child, parent, co-worker or friend.

David was a man of robust resilience & soon as the burden lifted he wanted among other things to get something to eat. He had a hankering for some chicken wings. Don’t misunderstand; this whole thing was David’s fault & he knew it. He’d been messing where he shouldn’t have been messing. And make no mistake, David would never totally get over the pain of his loss, but in spite of his massive culpability in the matter, he was able to get things right with God & go on.

Can you tell me even one good thing about being unwilling to forgive yourself? I can’t think of one. It has nothing to do with taking a light view of sin, which would be terribly wrong; it just has to do with accepting the finished work of Christ on the cross. If you’ve read the Old Testament you know that David wasn’t one to play games with God. He sinned largely but he repented just as large & became a man after God’s own heart in the process.


BEAUTY FOR ASHES

One of the most beautiful passages in the Bible is in Isaiah 61. Listen;

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; He hath sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives & the opening of the prison to them that are bound; to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord & the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all that mourn; to appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord that He might be glorified.-Ish.61:1-3.

ASHES ARE ASSOCIATED WITH WHAT USED TO BE

Ashes are left when fire passes through something. They are waste material, basically trash, useless things in our lives that no longer serve a life-giving purpose.

When you have ashes, you have the final effect of a change; something that existed in one form has now changed to something else. Ashes are good for nothing except to speak of something that used to exist. It’s beyond ludicrous to think one would eat ashes. As far as I know there is no actual food value in ashes; no vitamins or minerals, hence, no nourishment. You can’t do anything else constructive with them. All ashes can do is blow in the wind & take their place as the dust of the universe.

When a relationship has died, what constructive purpose does it serve to sit & stare at the ashes of what used to be? In the above passage, God promises to give to us beauty for ashes. He doesn’t want us to waste our lives fixated on what we’ve lost. He doesn’t want us to sit on the ashes & choke on remorse & bitterness & complain about all that went wrong. He wants us to move beyond the ashes to live as a victor, not a victim.

ANOTHER STORY FROM DAVID’S LIFE COMES TO MIND

I’d like to tell this story but not in the exact words the Bible uses.

Imagine if you will that you’d been away from home for several weeks; not because you wanted to be away but because of urgent matters that involve the well-being of your family & your future. You’ve missed your family so much that you ached with loneliness. You’ve been looking forward with great anticipation to getting back home & that day has finally come.

You’re headed home & joining you on your journey back are six-hundred men who’ve shared your dreams & your mission. Everyone is happy, laughing & talking about how good it’s going to be to be home & how they’ll try to make up for lost time. The road home winds through narrow gorges & desolate areas & along dry stream beds. Sometimes the path is nothing more than a goats trail leading up, down & around hills.

After several days & nights of travel you see the final hill you have to climb. On the other side of that hill in a little valley is your village. Your home is there. Your family is waiting—your wife & kids you’ve missed so much. The very thought fills you with extra energy so you pick up the pace. Your friends, just as eager, follow closely.

But as you crest the hill you wonder why there are none of the usual signs that home is nearby. Where is the smoke of the kitchen fires & sounds of happy children? The cool stillness of the air nibbles at your mind & the quietness stirs uneasiness in your heart. Once you top the hill the answer is clear. You stop dead in your tracks & stare in stunned disbelief. A horrible reality crashes down on your mind & your heart feels as if it will be squeezed from your chest.

By now the rest of your party has crested the hill & you all race together into the charred remains of once happy home-sites. Tell-tale signs let you know what has happened. While you were away a marauding band of fierce almost animal-like Amalekites has overrun your town of Ziklag burning everything that can’t be transported. They have carried away every living thing especially the woman & children. The shrieks & cries of hundreds of voices now drown out your own.

Everyone stumbles around in the blackened rubble, blinded by their tears, looking for familiar faces but seeing….nothing but ashes.

Then things turn from bad to worse. There’s a growing feeling that someone must be held responsible. You are the leader & you should have anticipated this. This is your fault & a growing agreement emerges that your companions should take up stones & bury you under them.

But you are as heartbroken as anyone. Your family is just as missing as any other’s. Others have friends to share their grief with but you are alone. It’s lonely at the top. Later you will write;

I looked on my right hand but there was no man that would know me; refuge failed me; no man cared for my soul. Psalm 142:4

Right now you’re standing on the brink of the greatest disaster in your whole life. The scent of death is rising in the air. Men are picking up stones & tossing them from hand to hand as if weighing them then dropping them. No one is willing to cast that first stone.

It was written of this time; David was greatly distressed for the people spoke of stoning him, but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God. 1 Sam.30:6

David encouraged himself by remembering past victories, remembering God’s mercies, thinking on God’s faithfulness, praising God for His greatness & turning away from discouragement. He encouraged himself by embracing his friends.

In all probability, this is the worst day of David's life. He weeps over Ziklag until he has no more tears to weep. It's here, even on the horns of a dilemma that could have been the death of David, that we get a glimpse of what made the man great. If there had been another man in all this crowd who had the ability to encourage himself, he very well might have emerged the new leader.But obviously David was the only man who could get his spiritual bearings when his world had just been shattered. Indeed I believe the true test of leadership is the ability to stand alone if necessary when the pressure is on & be focused enough to know what to do next.

You & I can learn a valuable lesson from David in this story. There will be times in our journey that things will be so bleak, our ability to encourage ourselves in the Lord will make the difference in victory or defeat.

But the reality remains that David’s home, Ziklag has been burned & now lies in ashes before him. Let’s look at some things David could have done with the ashes of Ziklag. He could have sat down in the ashes & blamed himself or others for the tragedy. He could have lain down in the ashes & had a nervous breakdown. He could have spent the rest of his life in burned out Ziklag refusing to leave the ruins until he went mad or died there. He could have sat & ruminated about all his dreams & how they had gone up in smoke. He could have told the men with him that they had no other choice but to accept defeat & sentence them all to a life of depression.

When our personal Ziklag goes up in smoke if we choose to we can wallow in the ashes of negativity, bitterness, anger, broken promises, unrealized hopes & dreams, plans that failed to materialize & any number of soul-numbing truth-blocking emotions that make it impossible for the soul to know victory.

What did David do? He asked God what he should do. He was directed by God to pursue the enemy & take what was stolen from him. He rose up to defeat the enemy & everything he’d lost was restored.

David would later write;

He raises the poor out of the dust & lifts the needy out of the ash heap, that he may seat him with princes—with the princes of his people. Ps. 113:7-NIV

Do you feel you are poor?
Do you feel that you’re in the dust?
Do you feel needy?
Do you feel you’re on the ash heap?

This promise is tailor-made for you.
God promises to lift you out of the dust.
He promises to give you the oil of joy for mourning.
He promises the garments of praise for the spirit of heaviness.
He promises you…..BEAUTY FOR ASHES!

There’s a chorus I love written by Milton Bourgeois;

Rise & be healed in the name of Jesus,
Let faith arise in your soul.
Rise & be healed in the name of Jesus,
He’ll cleanse you and make you whole!


Blessings,

John