By John Stallings
Years ago when Elvis Presley first came to prominence, I heard Prince Philip the Duke of Edinburgh of the U.K say something that made an indelible impression on me. I was only sixteen years old at the time.
When Prince Philip was asked what he thought of Elvis, he said, “You know, I can’t really say, I’ve never met Mr. Presley.” Something about that statement spoke to me. It spoke of good breeding. I really don’t think this next thought came to mind when I was sixteen but in retrospect it does; in all probability, this is the kind of training Royalty receives because loftier ideals & studied opinions are expected of them.
We might discount the prince’s statement & say, “Come on, he could have given an opinion about Elvis. Certainly he’d seen him on TV or at least he knew what Elvis was all about.” The reason we might think that is we’ve become so comfortable making snap judgments about people & issues we really haven’t given much thought to.
OSWALD CHAMBERS SAID-“THE GREATEST TEST OF A MAN’S CHARACTER IS HIS TONGUE.”
He was right & he has the Bible to back him up. Does that cause a little shiver to go up your spine? It certainly does mine. How much stuff have we just slung out there with hardly a thought given to the impact it would make & what it said about us? Maybe the reason we don’t hold one another more accountable for our words is we live in a culture where freedom of speech is accepted & expected & we’ve all become used to saying what we think.
But here’s the truth. We really don’t say what we think as much as say before we think --& later wish to the high heavens we had thought.
WORDS--Ben Franklin said, “A slip of the foot you may soon recover but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.” Let’s take a look at words from a Biblical perspective & get some tips for living with fewer regrets.
1. CONSIDER THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR WORDS.
Over the years I’ve been privy to a lot of back-stage talk among men & women from many professions, even ministers [maybe I should say, especially ministers] & there’s one thing that stands out. Most all have said things in their lives that felt right at the time that they lived to bitterly regret. Here’s the real shocker; -- by their own admission, most of them have said things that in retrospect, they feel actually hurt them in their careers. I guess they should know.
A preacher friend of mine who died way too young asked me once, “Why do I always shoot myself in the foot with what I say on important occasions?”
Think about that. People we look on as successful are actually saying, though it pains them to do so, that with their tongues they’ve damaged their lives & sabotaged good things that would have come to them if they’d better chosen their words. Hasty words, words spoken without thinking, maybe even words spoken with full knowledge that they would cut like a razor; words that have put others in the “spiritual burn unit” to try to recover from.
They felt they would have had more happiness; more acceptance as human beings, & more finances if they had only more carefully guarded the powerful bullets that zinged from their lips.
Think I’m exaggerating? I’m not! A few months back, our President, George W. Bush was badgered until he finally admitted to the mistakes he felt he’d made during his presidency. He admitted that he wished he hadn’t said some of the strong things he’d said in the early days of the Iraq war. One time he said in response to our terrorists enemies, “Bring it on.”
I have to be honest. I don’t think that was so bad. As a matter of fact many of us would have probably said more than that if we were in the position the president was in. Also, the seriousness of what an individual says in our culture will be measured, in most cases, especially by the liberal media, by which side of the political fence he’s on. Non-the-less, Mr. Bush feels his words were hasty in some cases so I give him high marks for seeing his mistakes.
As I said, most honest folk will admit that the hardest organ of their body to control is their tongue. Always!!
Proverbs 15:4 says, The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life but a deceitful tongue curses the spirit.
Proverbs 18:20-21 says --From the fruit of his mouth a man’s stomach is filled; with the harvest from his lips he is satisfied. The tongue has the power of life & death & those who love it will eat its fruit.
Think about that. Fruit from your mouth & harvest from your lips refer to the consequences of your words. It’s truly wise to think of the consequences of your words. Words chosen wisely are, if nothing more, really good business.
2. CHOOSE WORDS THAT HELP HEAL
Proverbs 15:2-7 says, The tongue of the wise commands knowledge but the mouth of the fool gushes folly. The lips of the wise spread knowledge not so the hearts of fools.
Proverbs 16:21-23—The wise in heart are called discerning & pleasant words promote instruction. Pleasant words are a honeycomb sweet to the soul & healing to the bones.
Mark Twain once said, “I can go for two months on one good compliment.” Coach Vince Lombardi saw the new recruit Jerry Kramer in the locker room with his head down & patted him on the shoulder saying, “One day you’ll be the best guard in the NFL.” Jerry didn’t believe it until the coach told him but today he’s in the Hall of Fame.
If you hear something good about a person pass it on. The person might not have heard it. Compliment someone in public so others can hear it. Write notes of appreciation. Satan wants to make us think we’ll destroy someone by saying nice things to them. Nothing could further from the truth. Send congratulatory emails. You can be “ sweet to someone’s soul.” Gracious speech improves things for all of us.
3. CHOOSE RIGHT WORDS
We almost always have a choice of the words to use when we speak.
Proverbs 10:21 says, The lips of the righteous nourish many but fools die for lack of judgment.
Have you ever noticed how good it feels to listen to a wise person? But if you give a fool enough rope he’ll hang himself.
Proverbs 10:32 says –The lips of the righteous know what is fitting but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse.
Perverse means twisting good words around to mean something evil.
Going back to president Bush & his admission of saying the wrong thing when he blurted out to the enemy—“Bring it on,” if you are a careful observed of the media, you’ll remember that in reporting what Bush said, the media had him saying, “I regret some of the cowboy remarks I made.” The president never said that but of course in a day of “spinning” the news, this is kind of misrepresentation is common. This is perverseness.
Proverbs 15:28 says, --The heart of the righteous weighs its answers but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.
Think carefully before you speak. Choose the right words.
4. USE APPROPRIATE WORDS.
In all the wisdom literature of the O.T giving a wise & timely reply is highly valued.
Proverbs 15:23 says, --A man finds joy in giving a wise & apt reply--& how good is a timely word.
Saying the right thing at the right time is a joyful thing. Have you ever known a person who could always say something that fit the occasion? Do you remember how relaxed & satisfied it made you feel? Some people can rise at a wedding dinner, a beach cook-out, a prayer meeting or a funeral & always say the appropriate & uplifting thing. Others are always shooting their toes off with their words & sticking their feet in their mouth. These are the folk who’re always in need of “peppermint shoes.” Every time they open their mouth they’re replacing one foot for the other one.
Talk about saying the right thing at the right time? - listen to this verse;
If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning it will be taken as a curse. Proverbs 27:14
Is that not funny? What this verse is pointing out is poor timing. You can say a right thing at a wrong time. Look how practical that is. I’m not exactly a morning person. I need a while to nurse my coffee. If I’m getting up to go on a trip, I’ll get up an hour early to have that wake-up time. To wake me up gently & slowly is greatly & eternally appreciated.
The verse is telling us that saying cheerful things is good & praising someone is good but if you wake someone up doing it--it still sounds like you’re cursing.
Proverbs 17:28 says, Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent & discerning if he holds his tongue.
Some of the biggest mistakes we make is --jumping on something like white on rice when we don’t have all the information. There are some people who are so arrogant & narrow-minded that they have no interest in taking the time to hear the facts or anything else that contradicts their position. They jump to an assumption & build from there. Consequently they’re always embroiled in controversy.
Proverbs 18:13 says, He who answers before listening—that is folly & his shame.
5. GIVE YOURSELF TO THE STUDY & PRACTICE OF WISE WORDS.
Make a daily commitment to saying the right things, to everyone, wherever you might go. If you do that it won’t be long until you’ll see people move around, sometimes subtly to listen to what you have to say. You’ll also hear folk ask, “what did she say?” They’ll do that because they’ve noticed that when you open your mouth you usually say something that will be interesting, uplifting & truthful.
You don’t get this kind of respect by –“off the top of your head-speaking,” or-always “shooting from the hip.” It takes time & hard work to be the kind of person that people are interested in what they have to say. The righteous heart thinks how best to answer in any given situation. Sometimes we have to take the time to pray about things so that we can speak in a way that people will hear & embrace.
In her book THE HIDING PLACE, Corrie Ten boon tells about traveling with her father on a train to Amsterdam. He was a watchmaker & traveled to the city to get watch-parts. He carried with him a large heavy suitcase with tools & spare parts.
Corrie, just a child, had heard the word sex but didn’t know what it meant, so on the train ride she asked her father. The father looked non-plussed for a second or two, and then he spoke. “Corrie, will you please carry my suitcase off the train when we stop?” Corrie answered, “Dad, it’s too heavy.”
Yes my dear” he said. “And it would be a poor father who’d ask a little girl like you to carry that heavy suitcase.” It’s the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you’re older & stronger you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you.”
Words can’t express how much I admire that kind of wisdom. Corrie’s dad was a man of prayer, faith & obedience. His wisdom & words were an outgrowth of his close walk with God.
Wise words are available to us all if we covet them & give ourselves to the study of God’s Words.
Blessings,
John
Years ago when Elvis Presley first came to prominence, I heard Prince Philip the Duke of Edinburgh of the U.K say something that made an indelible impression on me. I was only sixteen years old at the time.
When Prince Philip was asked what he thought of Elvis, he said, “You know, I can’t really say, I’ve never met Mr. Presley.” Something about that statement spoke to me. It spoke of good breeding. I really don’t think this next thought came to mind when I was sixteen but in retrospect it does; in all probability, this is the kind of training Royalty receives because loftier ideals & studied opinions are expected of them.
We might discount the prince’s statement & say, “Come on, he could have given an opinion about Elvis. Certainly he’d seen him on TV or at least he knew what Elvis was all about.” The reason we might think that is we’ve become so comfortable making snap judgments about people & issues we really haven’t given much thought to.
OSWALD CHAMBERS SAID-“THE GREATEST TEST OF A MAN’S CHARACTER IS HIS TONGUE.”
He was right & he has the Bible to back him up. Does that cause a little shiver to go up your spine? It certainly does mine. How much stuff have we just slung out there with hardly a thought given to the impact it would make & what it said about us? Maybe the reason we don’t hold one another more accountable for our words is we live in a culture where freedom of speech is accepted & expected & we’ve all become used to saying what we think.
But here’s the truth. We really don’t say what we think as much as say before we think --& later wish to the high heavens we had thought.
WORDS--Ben Franklin said, “A slip of the foot you may soon recover but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.” Let’s take a look at words from a Biblical perspective & get some tips for living with fewer regrets.
1. CONSIDER THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR WORDS.
Over the years I’ve been privy to a lot of back-stage talk among men & women from many professions, even ministers [maybe I should say, especially ministers] & there’s one thing that stands out. Most all have said things in their lives that felt right at the time that they lived to bitterly regret. Here’s the real shocker; -- by their own admission, most of them have said things that in retrospect, they feel actually hurt them in their careers. I guess they should know.
A preacher friend of mine who died way too young asked me once, “Why do I always shoot myself in the foot with what I say on important occasions?”
Think about that. People we look on as successful are actually saying, though it pains them to do so, that with their tongues they’ve damaged their lives & sabotaged good things that would have come to them if they’d better chosen their words. Hasty words, words spoken without thinking, maybe even words spoken with full knowledge that they would cut like a razor; words that have put others in the “spiritual burn unit” to try to recover from.
They felt they would have had more happiness; more acceptance as human beings, & more finances if they had only more carefully guarded the powerful bullets that zinged from their lips.
Think I’m exaggerating? I’m not! A few months back, our President, George W. Bush was badgered until he finally admitted to the mistakes he felt he’d made during his presidency. He admitted that he wished he hadn’t said some of the strong things he’d said in the early days of the Iraq war. One time he said in response to our terrorists enemies, “Bring it on.”
I have to be honest. I don’t think that was so bad. As a matter of fact many of us would have probably said more than that if we were in the position the president was in. Also, the seriousness of what an individual says in our culture will be measured, in most cases, especially by the liberal media, by which side of the political fence he’s on. Non-the-less, Mr. Bush feels his words were hasty in some cases so I give him high marks for seeing his mistakes.
As I said, most honest folk will admit that the hardest organ of their body to control is their tongue. Always!!
Proverbs 15:4 says, The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life but a deceitful tongue curses the spirit.
Proverbs 18:20-21 says --From the fruit of his mouth a man’s stomach is filled; with the harvest from his lips he is satisfied. The tongue has the power of life & death & those who love it will eat its fruit.
Think about that. Fruit from your mouth & harvest from your lips refer to the consequences of your words. It’s truly wise to think of the consequences of your words. Words chosen wisely are, if nothing more, really good business.
2. CHOOSE WORDS THAT HELP HEAL
Proverbs 15:2-7 says, The tongue of the wise commands knowledge but the mouth of the fool gushes folly. The lips of the wise spread knowledge not so the hearts of fools.
Proverbs 16:21-23—The wise in heart are called discerning & pleasant words promote instruction. Pleasant words are a honeycomb sweet to the soul & healing to the bones.
Mark Twain once said, “I can go for two months on one good compliment.” Coach Vince Lombardi saw the new recruit Jerry Kramer in the locker room with his head down & patted him on the shoulder saying, “One day you’ll be the best guard in the NFL.” Jerry didn’t believe it until the coach told him but today he’s in the Hall of Fame.
If you hear something good about a person pass it on. The person might not have heard it. Compliment someone in public so others can hear it. Write notes of appreciation. Satan wants to make us think we’ll destroy someone by saying nice things to them. Nothing could further from the truth. Send congratulatory emails. You can be “ sweet to someone’s soul.” Gracious speech improves things for all of us.
3. CHOOSE RIGHT WORDS
We almost always have a choice of the words to use when we speak.
Proverbs 10:21 says, The lips of the righteous nourish many but fools die for lack of judgment.
Have you ever noticed how good it feels to listen to a wise person? But if you give a fool enough rope he’ll hang himself.
Proverbs 10:32 says –The lips of the righteous know what is fitting but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse.
Perverse means twisting good words around to mean something evil.
Going back to president Bush & his admission of saying the wrong thing when he blurted out to the enemy—“Bring it on,” if you are a careful observed of the media, you’ll remember that in reporting what Bush said, the media had him saying, “I regret some of the cowboy remarks I made.” The president never said that but of course in a day of “spinning” the news, this is kind of misrepresentation is common. This is perverseness.
Proverbs 15:28 says, --The heart of the righteous weighs its answers but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.
Think carefully before you speak. Choose the right words.
4. USE APPROPRIATE WORDS.
In all the wisdom literature of the O.T giving a wise & timely reply is highly valued.
Proverbs 15:23 says, --A man finds joy in giving a wise & apt reply--& how good is a timely word.
Saying the right thing at the right time is a joyful thing. Have you ever known a person who could always say something that fit the occasion? Do you remember how relaxed & satisfied it made you feel? Some people can rise at a wedding dinner, a beach cook-out, a prayer meeting or a funeral & always say the appropriate & uplifting thing. Others are always shooting their toes off with their words & sticking their feet in their mouth. These are the folk who’re always in need of “peppermint shoes.” Every time they open their mouth they’re replacing one foot for the other one.
Talk about saying the right thing at the right time? - listen to this verse;
If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning it will be taken as a curse. Proverbs 27:14
Is that not funny? What this verse is pointing out is poor timing. You can say a right thing at a wrong time. Look how practical that is. I’m not exactly a morning person. I need a while to nurse my coffee. If I’m getting up to go on a trip, I’ll get up an hour early to have that wake-up time. To wake me up gently & slowly is greatly & eternally appreciated.
The verse is telling us that saying cheerful things is good & praising someone is good but if you wake someone up doing it--it still sounds like you’re cursing.
Proverbs 17:28 says, Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent & discerning if he holds his tongue.
Some of the biggest mistakes we make is --jumping on something like white on rice when we don’t have all the information. There are some people who are so arrogant & narrow-minded that they have no interest in taking the time to hear the facts or anything else that contradicts their position. They jump to an assumption & build from there. Consequently they’re always embroiled in controversy.
Proverbs 18:13 says, He who answers before listening—that is folly & his shame.
5. GIVE YOURSELF TO THE STUDY & PRACTICE OF WISE WORDS.
Make a daily commitment to saying the right things, to everyone, wherever you might go. If you do that it won’t be long until you’ll see people move around, sometimes subtly to listen to what you have to say. You’ll also hear folk ask, “what did she say?” They’ll do that because they’ve noticed that when you open your mouth you usually say something that will be interesting, uplifting & truthful.
You don’t get this kind of respect by –“off the top of your head-speaking,” or-always “shooting from the hip.” It takes time & hard work to be the kind of person that people are interested in what they have to say. The righteous heart thinks how best to answer in any given situation. Sometimes we have to take the time to pray about things so that we can speak in a way that people will hear & embrace.
In her book THE HIDING PLACE, Corrie Ten boon tells about traveling with her father on a train to Amsterdam. He was a watchmaker & traveled to the city to get watch-parts. He carried with him a large heavy suitcase with tools & spare parts.
Corrie, just a child, had heard the word sex but didn’t know what it meant, so on the train ride she asked her father. The father looked non-plussed for a second or two, and then he spoke. “Corrie, will you please carry my suitcase off the train when we stop?” Corrie answered, “Dad, it’s too heavy.”
Yes my dear” he said. “And it would be a poor father who’d ask a little girl like you to carry that heavy suitcase.” It’s the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you’re older & stronger you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you.”
Words can’t express how much I admire that kind of wisdom. Corrie’s dad was a man of prayer, faith & obedience. His wisdom & words were an outgrowth of his close walk with God.
Wise words are available to us all if we covet them & give ourselves to the study of God’s Words.
Blessings,
John
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