By John Stallings
People
can be so picky and ungrateful.
I know.
I've served them for more decades than I’d like to think about and bear the
wounds in my psyche to prove it.
You pour your heart out. You give unstintingly
of your time and your energy and so often it goes unnoticed, unappreciated, or taken
for granted. Even worse, you get picked at by some well-meaning -- and some
not-so-well-meaning -- folk who feel that God has given them “the gift of
criticism.” In truth they have the “gift of sandpapering the saints.” Thankfully
this description doesn't apply to ALL of God’s people!!!
Feel
unappreciated? Understand that you’re in good company.
If I were
to recount all the leaders who were criticized and unappreciated, it would be a
long list:
Moses leads God's people out of Egypt , but when times get tough they
say,
"You have brought us out into this
desert to starve this entire assembly to death."
Only
after his death do they really appreciate him. Some consolation prize!
Job lives a righteous life before
God, but who appreciates him when the tide turns against him? His wife calls
him a fool and his so-called friends try to hammer into his skull the message
that it’s all his fault.
Just as
an aside, let me add; you’ve never been beaten until you’ve been worked over by
Self-righteous, Pharisaical Christians who browbeat you with a Bible. They will
even use verses against you that were meant to build you up. Poor Job. What an
awful whipping!!
Jeremiah has the unhappy mission of
declaring to Israel that Jerusalem will be destroyed and the people
will go into exile for their sins. Who appreciates him? No one. He is
slandered, arrested, imprisoned, and called a traitor.Paul spends long, grueling years in
missionary work, but some of the churches he himself founded discredit him. To
his detractors in Corinth he bares his soul, and in his words
you can feel his pain:
"We
are fools for Christ, but you are so wise in Christ! We are weak, but you are
strong! You are honored, we are dishonored! To this very hour we go hungry and
thirsty, we are in rags, we are brutally treated, we are homeless. We work hard
with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we
endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly. Up to this moment we have
become the scum of the earth, the refuse of the world." (1
Corinthians 4:10-13)
God's
work can indeed take a heavy toll on us. Paul writes again to the Corinthians:
"We do not want
you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province
of Asia . We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so
that we despaired even of life." (2 Cor. 1:8)
Then,
when he has recovered a tad, he tells them:
"We are hard
pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;
persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry
around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be
revealed in our body." (2 Corinthians 4:8-10)
In the
midst of the incredible pressure, he receives strength from God that helps him
to make it through.
Jesus
said:
"Blessed are
you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil
against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in
heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before
you."
(Matthew 5:11-12)
An
unmarried evangelist acquaintance of mine has done much for the cause of Christ
including writing several books on dealing with discouragement.
He tells
of the time when he’d just gotten through speaking to a large convention and
felt his work wasn’t understood and his efforts to encourage people had missed
the mark. He was devastated. He called his fiancé and poured his heart out to
her that evening and when he’d finished he heard her say in a cryptic tone,
“sounds to me like you ought to read some of those books you wrote.”
Years
later my preacher friend is still single and by all accounts his former lady
friend is also. I could be wrong but I think he was looking for someone to
encourage him in his valley experiences.
Satan is
hard at work to magnify our hurts, rip off the scabs covering our wounds, and
to fan flickering flames of anger in our broken hearts until they bursts into a
conflagration that is out-of-control and terribly destructive -- of ourselves
and those around us.
There
have been times in my life when I felt I was in a rowboat filling up with the
water of hurt and bitterness. If I didn't keep bailing it out, bailing it out,
the bitterness would soon overwhelm the boat and I would sink in self-pity.
When I
read Jesus' words, I am rebuked;
"Love your
enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything
back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High,
because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked." (Luke 6:35)
I hear
Jesus telling us that real love doesn't give to get, it gives without expecting
to get anything back. Most T.V ministers won’t tell us this. Many Christians
have so far to go in this walk! Jesus told us that his Father is "kind
to the ungrateful and wicked." Sometimes our thoughts haven't been
very kind.
Pardon me for pointing out the obvious but-- everything
we do must be done UNTO GOD!!!
I've
learned that I cannot afford to let anger and bitterness grow in my spirit. I
must flush them out to the Lord every day in prayer, sometimes many times in
the day, whenever those feelings of hurt and self-defense begin to rise up in
me. I've needed a lot of flushing in my life and times. How about you?
Again, if
you and I are to avoid deadly discouragement-don't serve the Church, don’t
serve people-- serve Christ. The Church might (or might not) write you a
paycheck, but it’s not your real employer. Paul's admonition to slaves speaks
to my own wounded spirit:
"Render service
with enthusiasm, as to the Lord and not to men and women, knowing that whatever
good we do, we will receive the same again from the Lord, whether we are slaves
or free."
(Ephesians 6:7-8, NRSV)
Sometimes
we forget whom we really serve. When people are ungrateful, we want to tell
them off and quit. But then God reminds us that he’s the one who called us; that
we’re serving him first of all.
An
assurance that he was serving God was the only thing that kept Moses going
through a hailstorm of criticism. It's all that kept Jeremiah on track when
everyone told him he was wrong.
You and I
serve God, not people -- really. We are mediators of God's love for them, and
if, by God's grace, that love can flow through us in spite of our hurts, in
spite of our buffeting, then we can continue to minister to them on behalf of
God. But if Satan can shut off the love, he has neutralized us.
By the
grace of God I’ve stayed on the rails for well over half a century by
constantly reminding myself---I one day want to hear one simple sentence spoken
to me personally by Jesus:
"Well done,
good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Lord" (Matthew 25:21).
I want
God to be pleased with me. It doesn't matter if people are selfish and
critical, insensitive and unappreciative. All that really matters is God's
approval. That is why I serve, because I love him.
David was
playing beautiful harp music and dodging Saul’s javelin at the same time.
Sometimes we have to “serve and duck.” But David learned a secret while he
existed for years on the LAM; the secret was to encourage himself in the
Lord.
I want to
challenge you to become a one-person encouragement center. Look for people who
are serving Christ in your church, see what they’re doing for Christ, and then
stop to encourage them.
"Your
piano playing is such a blessing to me."
"You
certainly do a wonderful job with the children."
"I
can see your heart for the Lord as you take special care to have the church
clean and fresh every Sunday morning for worship. Thank you!"
If you
feel under-appreciated, don't wallow in your misery. Get up and start actively
giving to others what you yourself desire. Start a verbal appreciation
campaign. Get some other folks to join you. Set a pattern of appreciation that
will overtake your entire church and community.
While
you're at it, go out of your way to show appreciation to your pastor and
family. Tell them with your words they are loved and appreciated. And then give
them a little gift that says, "We love you, we care." A home-cooked dinner
that they don't have to prepare. A weekend away, all expenses paid. A card that
says, "I appreciate your ministry." A special gift on the pastor's
anniversary of ministry at your church -- that puts a huge "Yes!" in the appreciation column.
In the Parable of the Sheep and the Goats, Jesus tells us:
"For I
was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me
something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in."
(Matthew 25:35)
When you
encourage others, you’re serving Christ himself. When you speak words of
appreciation, you’re speaking Christ's words. When you encourage, you’re doing
Christ's work. When you hug -- physically or figuratively -- you show Christ's
love in a way that can be felt.
I must
admit that we’re surrounded by way too many insensitive, critical, ungrateful
people. Maybe that's all they know. By our example, we can begin to change
that. We can begin to establish a new pattern of thanks and support, of caring
and appreciation. We can set a pattern of love, by which outsiders can discern
that we are indeed Jesus' disciples (John 13:35 ). It starts with me -- and you.
One
passage of scripture sticks in my head and plays itself over and over. Let me
share it with you, so it can repeat itself in your brain until it does its
work:
"Therefore,
my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of
the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain" (1
Corinthians 15:58, RSV).
THE PRODIGALS ELDER BROTHER
The story
of the prodigal or lost son is probably one of the most familiar parables Jesus
taught. A son rejects his living father as dead, wants to cash out his
inheritance now, and run off with the money to party and live life to the
fullest. The parable is about that ever-so-difficult homecoming when the lost
son returned broken and empty-handed to beg for food and a place to stay from
the father he’d disowned. Consider how the father and the older brother each
reacted.
The lost son was lost when he squandered all
his father’s inheritance in wild living. Then he returned to his home and to
his father, but when he arrives, in another way he’s still lost. He doesn't
know his own father, so he comes on the grounds of his own merits. But he
realizes that he’s shot any merits he’s had to oblivion. He’s a lost cause if
ever there was one. He has no grounds or basis for re-admission to the house. To
say he’d been a bad guy is an understatement.
He had every right to expect that he’d be regarded as an outcast and one who’s disowned by the family. He’d decided to count his father as dead to himself, so that he could claim his share of the inheritance. He had every right to expect that he’d be regarded as dead to the family. So he comes to enter the household on the grounds of being a servant… the lowest position in the house, to plead for simple necessities of life--food, shelter and water. He thought he could work for his father to earn his keep, and be treated as a servant.
He had every right to expect that he’d be regarded as an outcast and one who’s disowned by the family. He’d decided to count his father as dead to himself, so that he could claim his share of the inheritance. He had every right to expect that he’d be regarded as dead to the family. So he comes to enter the household on the grounds of being a servant… the lowest position in the house, to plead for simple necessities of life--food, shelter and water. He thought he could work for his father to earn his keep, and be treated as a servant.
There was
something right about his approach to his father. He came in humility and
sorrow over what he’d done. It was a real offense against heaven and against
his father that he couldn’t repair or undo.
It’s
right that we approach God in true brokenness over our sin, acknowledging an
utter dependence and need for His mercy. We shouldn’t be indifferent to our
sin, as if God shouldn’t mind anyway, and come back thinking that God owed us
anything. So in this way, the prodigal’s approach to his father was correct.
True repentance of heart was necessary.
But the
father was having none of it. He forgave his wayward son and restored him to
full fellowship. Don’t we have a merciful Lord?
But -what
about that older son? He was coming in from the field when he heard the music
and dancing. He’d loyally labored long in the field for his father. He wasn’t
so insolent and disrespectful as to demand his share of the inheritance to cash
out and spend on wild living. He was moderate and respectful and carried out
his duties. But he lacked his father’s love and concern for his brother.
When he
heard the servant’s report that his brother had returned safe and sound, he
should’ve cried with joy, “Where is he?!” He should’ve run to his brother with
the same warm embrace of his father, to welcome the lost back home. He could’ve
said, “I was worried about you, but I’m so glad that you’re alive. You can’t
imagine how much father prayed for your safety and return. He was heartbroken
when you left—you should’ve seen how he wept. We wish you’d never left. But
welcome home brother—you’re back where you belong.”
Didn’t
happen! The older brother was indignant. Angry that the father and family would
celebrate the return of this rebel, this scoundrel, this disrespectful young
man who’d shamed his family and their name. With self-righteous anger he lashes
out: “Look, these many years I have
served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young
goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came,
who has devoured your property with prostitutes; you killed the fattened calf
for him!”
As if to
say: “This is the thanks I get
for all the hard work I’ve done and the loyalty I’ve given?
And you go and reward that miserable son of yours.” The contrast between the father and the older brother is so stark. That older brother, so far from loving his brother and showing concern for him, disowned him and counted him as dead. The older brother didn’t even acknowledge his family ties to the prodigal—calling him, “that son of yours.” Maybe if the older brother would’ve received his younger brother back at all, he would only be satisfied if he were treated as a servant. “Make that miserable son work off his guilt. Let him labor in the purgatory of his own making and see if he can work off the guilt and shame he’s accumulated. Maybe after he’s suffered long enough, we can begin to think about whether he’s worthy of being called son and brother again. But he better not think he’s going to get off scott-free.”
And you go and reward that miserable son of yours.” The contrast between the father and the older brother is so stark. That older brother, so far from loving his brother and showing concern for him, disowned him and counted him as dead. The older brother didn’t even acknowledge his family ties to the prodigal—calling him, “that son of yours.” Maybe if the older brother would’ve received his younger brother back at all, he would only be satisfied if he were treated as a servant. “Make that miserable son work off his guilt. Let him labor in the purgatory of his own making and see if he can work off the guilt and shame he’s accumulated. Maybe after he’s suffered long enough, we can begin to think about whether he’s worthy of being called son and brother again. But he better not think he’s going to get off scott-free.”
The older
brother apparently wants to call the father “back to his senses.” The father
shows that he still loves the older son, and hasn’t forgotten him, saying:
“Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. It was fitting to
celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was
lost, and is found.” The father gently reminded his older son that he’d lost
nothing as a result of the father’s mercy and forgiveness to the younger son.
Everything the son had was still his, and he was just as much loved by the
father. But it was necessary to celebrate the lost brother, because he was dead
to the family, dead to God—but now he was alive and restored. He was lost—lost
in rebellion, selfish pursuit of his own desires; lost pursuing the false and
fleeting dreams of wealth and wild living—but now he was found. He was home in
the fold, back in the family where he belonged—redeemed from the fatal
influences of the worldly life he’d left behind. He was truly found.
When have
we been like that older brother? Indignant and jealous of the mercy and
kindness shown to such a sinner. Would we be ashamed or too offended to call as
our brother, one who had fallen so far and come back? One who had insulted and
dishonored our father, who wasted the family inheritance on prostitutes and
reckless living? Would we expect them to crawl back on hands and knees and continue
to suffer the shame and regret of their sin, until we counted them worthy to
stand and be counted as a brother—as part of the family? Or would we continue
to deny them welcome into the family?
Sometimes
there’s a sense of entitlement and privilege that can creep out of our sinful
nature, even as Christians….hopefully not in such blatant ways. But there’s
nothing Christian at all about having such a sense of entitlement and
self-righteousness. Our sinful nature will express itself one way or another,
whether or not we’re involved in open sins. In the case of the younger brother,
the sinful nature expressed itself through open and brash acts of sin and
immorality. In the case of the older brother, he wasn’t openly sinning, but his
sinful nature manifested itself in his jealousy, loveless ness, and lack of
concern for his brother.
This is often how that sinfulness manifests itself in us as Christians. We might act like we’ve earned our place (we haven’t), we might act like our record is cleaner than the rest (it isn’t), and we might act like the church would be a better place if there weren’t so many sinners here. (We’re all sinners!).
This is often how that sinfulness manifests itself in us as Christians. We might act like we’ve earned our place (we haven’t), we might act like our record is cleaner than the rest (it isn’t), and we might act like the church would be a better place if there weren’t so many sinners here. (We’re all sinners!).
Now the
church is not told to associate with openly unrepentant sinners—those who still
cling to their sin and won’t repent—in fact the church is to avoid such
association. But that’s completely different from welcoming the repentant, the
sorrowful, and the lost who seek the mercy of God. We are the same. We call on
the same mercy for our sin, so we ought to welcome such people with the same
open embrace that our heavenly Father does. We should celebrate whenever lost
sinners come to our Father’s embrace. We should celebrate and be glad for the
lost sister or brother who’s now found and is alive in Christ Jesus.
ASAPH
Asaph was
a musician in the court of King David many centuries ago who went through a
rough patch seeing the ungodly prospering while he endured so much pain and
suffering.
In Psalm
73:2-5 he said;
But as for me my
feet had almost slipped; I nearly lost my foothold, for I envied the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. They have no struggles; their bodies
are healthy and strong. They are free from the burdens common to man, they are
not troubled by human ills.
As we
follow him in the chapter we hear him say in essence;
So this is the thanks I get for
being good?
Right in
the middle of this Psalm, verses 16-17- Asaph entered a worship service and had
an encounter with God which helped to clear his thinking and come to grips with
the questions which plagued him.
His
attitude became—‘I really don’t have a lot of material goods, popularity and
health like many of the wicked do, but look at what I do have. I have
something better; I have a relationship with the God of all creation and I
wouldn’t take anything for it.
Look
at what I do have.
I
have someone who is constantly with me. V 23
Look
at what I have. I
have someone who promises me a “forever.” You’ll guide me with your council and
afterward receive me to glory.V.24
Look
at what I have. I
have someone who is better than anything. There is nothing on earth that I desire
beside you.
V. 25
Look
at what I have. I have someone who
gives me strength for living. God is the strength of my life.
V.26
Look
at what I have. I have something to
sing about. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge. I will tell of your deeds.
V. 28
As
Christians you and I can stand in the face of the world today and instead of
saying—
“So this is the thanks I get—we can declare;
Look what I have!
Look what I have!
Blessings,
John