By John Stallings
Maybe you heard the story of the turtle that lived up north & wanted to go south for the winter.
Smart turtle that he was, he hatched up the idea to get two birds that would be going south anyway to help him. His idea was to ask these strong fliers each to carry the end of a stick in their mouths while he bit down with his mouth on the middle of the stick.
The idea was great & the thousand miles- plus trip passed without incident until they were coming in for a landing in Miami. As they flew low over the heads of the hundreds of spectators, people were saying, “Wow, what a great idea. I wonder whose idea that was?”
Wanting the credit, the turtle opened his mouth to say, “It’s my idea.” That act of pride was the death of him. Oh, Lord, it’s hard, even for a turtle, to be humble.
One time a fly crawled into the ear of a horse pulling a generals chariot. He looked around then said to the horse, “My, aren’t we raising a lot of dust?” Then there was the flea on the back of the Elephant & as they passed over a hanging bridge he said, “Boy, didn’t we make that bridge shake?” The last one concerns a woodpecker that was pecking on a large tree when lightening struck the tree knocking it down. Flying away the woodpecker thought out loud, “My, look at what I did to that tree.” Lord it’s hard to be humble.
Did you ever have an old song that you really didn’t even like get stuck in your head? It happens to me occasionally.
Maybe you remember Mac Davis’ song;
Oh, Lord it’s hard to be humble, when you’re perfect in every way, I can’t wait to look in the mirror; I get better looking each day.
To know me is to love me, I must be a-------man [when I hum the song I put—wonderful---in that blank spot.]
Oh, Lord It’s hard to be humble, but I’m doing the best that I can.
Most of us smile when we hear this song. We smile, though we’d never admit it, because somewhere deep inside us all lurks the feeling that we’re special, we’re the smartest, the coolest, the richest, the quickest, the most unique or the most popular.
Ted Turner, founder of CNN once told an interviewer, with a straight face, “You know, if I had a little more humility I’d be just about perfect, don’t you think? Lord, it’s hard to be humble. [Even when you’re stupid enough to give The United Nations a billion dollars.]
When we were kids we’d go to school & boast that our dads were stronger, richer, & smarter than anyone else’s dad. In our teen years we wanted to have the right jeans, the right shoes, the right bracelet etc. so we’d be accepted by the right people.
Parents are just about as bad in boasting about their children & play a perpetual game of one-upsmanship. It goes something like this; “Are your kids smart? Well my kids are smarter, wiser, more athletic & more popular. As a matter of fact don’t get me started on my grand kids. As you might expect they’re super-stars, brilliant & class officers. Did your children go to a community college? Well mine got into Harvard.”
We also like to boast about the town where we live. It goes; “Is your city or area where you live an outstanding place to live? Well my city has a famous baseball team, hockey team, basketball or football team & when the team becomes number one our joyous fans almost riot with feelings of supremacy.” Lord it’s hard to be humble.
What about our churches? With God on our side, church folk love to let the world know that they are happier, more content, more fulfilled, more secure, more successful, more blessed & more at peace than other folk. Their attitude is, “it’s hard to be humble when you go to a church like mine. You say your pastor is on the radio? Well my pastor is on T.V [& by inference that makes him a better preacher.] We dress right, eat right, speak right, believe right, & do right a little bit more than most anybody we know.” Lord it’s hard to be humble.
Often when some of these deliriously happy church folk get disgruntled, & maybe they have an offended/hurt pastor leading them, they leave the happy church where they were once so joyous & start a new even happier church. And don’t underestimate these people. Before you can say-cat in a hat- they’ll have a beautiful new building built as a monument to the proposition that they were right in making their move.
I don’t mean to be judgmental because sometimes its best when people part ways. Even Paul & Barnabas split up because they couldn’t agree about Mark. However sometimes I think these churches should have on their marquee; --“Church of the disgruntled brethren.”
What’s amazing about all of this is that we church folk convince the outsider that we do actually have it together. We convince them so well that they’re afraid to visit. People who aren’t part of the church drive by & see the huge parking lot stretched out like a free-way & think, “You know, I might not mind going there, but when I look at those steps & think about walking through those big doors, & then I think of all the happy people in there who’ve got it all together, it intimidates me. And besides, I never could sing very well anyway. Plus, I don’t think I could pass the dress code.”[Just in case you’re wondering, there isn’t any—that I know of.]
Some outsiders may flip that attitude & they say, “I’ve read about all the scandals these religious folk have had & I know of some divorces that have taken place among them & I’ve seen their kids fighting at school, & to tell you the truth I feel superior to these hypocrites. These church folk aren’t any better than anyone else; at least I don’t make a big profession.” There thought is; “Lord they ought to be humble; they’re so imperfect in every way.”
Many things the critics of the church say are true. To my knowledge Christians aren’t prettier, happier, wealthier, stronger, smarter, & more physically fit than others. Left on our own, we’re tempted & grapple with our imperfections; we struggle with the same sins, sorrows, & shortcomings as do non-churched people. Just having our name on a church roster doesn’t cause us to sprout wings & start walking on water & go around with a “glory-knot” on the back of our head [ladies hair do] & with a hymn on our lips all the time.
The biggest difference between those in the church & out of it is the fact that we by the Holy Spirit’s power have been graciously brought to Jesus Christ & saved. We, who once were lost, now have been found. None of this makes us better than anyone it just means we’ve responded by faith to the same call others have heard who didn’t respond. We by faith now have a heaven-sent substitute, our Redeemer Jesus Christ. Someone may say, “You Christians aren’t that good,” & they’d be right, but Jesus is “That-Good.”
PRIDE IS AT THE ROOT OF ALL CONFLICT
I repeat -pride is at the root; pride is the cause of almost all conflict. Proverbs 13:10 says;
Only by pride comes contention.
If you’re having conflict in your marriage, or family it’s being caused by pride. The same goes for the church. Pride won’t let things go. Pride won’t forgive. Pride keeps score. Pride puts pressure on people. Parental pride can force a boy to play football when doesn’t even like the game.
Proverbs 28:25 says;
He that is of a proud heart stirs up strife……
Pride is arrogant & obnoxious. Pride will cause you to be rude. When I counsel young people about marriage one of the things I suggest is, watch how the object of your affection treats people in public. Watch how they treat servers in restaurants or people who help them at airports. If they treat others badly you can mark it down they have a spirit of pride & that’s exactly how they’ll treat you after marriage. Rude people are being driven by pride. Pride makes us judgmental. Pride points out everyone else’s errors but isn’t it strange how hard it is for us to see ourselves?
Rick Warren tells the story of a grade school principle that made a royally big mistake. He got on the speaker & said to the entire school—“I was wrong. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” He became the most popular principle in the history of the school. The kids all said, “I wish I had a dad like that.” And there were probably lots of women who also wished they had a husband like that. Lord it’s so hard to be humble.
GETTING OFF THE ‘PRIDE HIGH-HORSE’ IS THE SECRET OF RECONCILIATION
Swallow your pride & be willing to say- “I was wrong.” Pride prevents personal growth. The moment your head puffs up you stop growing. I stop growing.
Proverbs 11:2 says;
Pride leads to disgrace but with humility comes wisdom.
Proverbs 10:17 says;
Anyone willing to be corrected is on the pathway to life, but anyone refusing has lost his chance.
Have you ever known someone that wouldn’t get help in parenting, in their marriage, in their taxes, with an addiction or anything else? Really now, that’s nothing but pride.
When I break a bone I’m going to a bone expert. I believe in divine healing but if I don’t have the faith to get a healing I’m not going to lay around & die, neither will I allow anyone I care about to do so. That’s nothing but stubborn, obstinate, bull-headed PRIDE.
It’s prideful self-absorption that brings so much stress & tension into our lives. We sit around thinking about ourselves so much, no wonder we’re miserable.
When I was pastoring my first church I was always miserable, wondering what the people really thought of me. One day I read something that turned my life around. It said, “Don’t worry about what people think of you. If you knew how seldom they did you’d be shocked.”
Proverbs 25:29 says;
The fear of man is a trap.
Everything in our culture says “it’s all about you. You’re the best. You deserve it. You’re the greatest. Have it your way. Focus on your image."
I’ve shared with you that Juda & I watch the T.V show American Idol now & then. We’ve noticed that each year the contestants [not all of them] get more & more unteachable & won’t take counsel from the judges. It’s not that I think the judges are always right, but they’re obviously there for some reason.
Certainly it’s good for a youngster to have self confidence & be able to think for themselves. But it makes me uneasy for anyone who won’t take advice at anytime about anything. I guess it’s because I’ve seen so many lives ruined that way.
I used to think a person can do anything they want to if they work hard enough at it. I no longer say that. Even with my Global Positioning, I can still get hopelessly lost. Almost every time I travel I get humbled. Even with a map & GP I can still get lost, consequently I’m never going to be a pilot. I seem to have this horrible sense of direction. [Sometimes.]
Everybody needs something in their life that they’re a total failure at. It keeps us humble. As for me there are only a few things I’m any good at. Another one of my pet peeves is Golf. The holes are too small & the equipment is wholly inadequate for the job. There’s plenty of frustration in life without adding Golf. There are lots of things you & I are never going to be because we don’t have the innate talent. The Beatles had some good advice, “Let it be.”
I fight pride every day in any manifestations that I see cropping up in my life. My wife helps me in the areas I can’t see. Along the way I’ve also had a few others to help me? Don’t you love it when that happens? In truth, other people can’t humble us, we must humble ourselves. Others can humiliate us but we must humble ourselves.
Don’t ever ask God to humble you. Bend your knee & bow your head & pray, “Oh Lord, I humble myself before you. I humble myself before you. Lord, help me get my stubborn pride out of the way so I can continue to grow & be a blessing to others.”
Here’s another tip from a man with a lot of scars, - don’t pray things like “Lord, if I’ve sinned or done anything wrong….” Trust me; you don’t have to say “if.” If you can’t think of anything to confess get out your bible & start reading & you’ll eventually hit it! The Bible judges the thoughts & intent of the heart.
Pride is based on a false image of yourself. Humility is based on a true & realistic factor. There is a good kind of pride, a pride that will move us toward excellence, never perfection. Good pride is rejoicing in what God is doing in & through you. Good pride won’t let you go to the Mall with your hair looking like last years birds nest, or shine one shoe & leave the other unshined.
As we’ve said, bad pride is selfish & stubborn, holds on to grudges & won’t admit when we’re wrong. This kind of prideful life brings no glory to God.
GOD HATES PRIDE
The Bible says;
God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. James 4:6
If you & I are proud we’ve got God & the Devil both against us. Pride got the Devil kicked out of heaven.
Humility has gotten a bad-rap in our generation. I mean, when we think of humility we often think of allowing ourselves to be used as doormats. But that’s not Bible humility. Truly humble people aren’t people who’re always putting themselves down. Humble people are just people who have been empowered by God to make the needs of others the priority in their lives.
Humble people don’t have inferiority complexes. They are secure in who God made them. In fact humility is a mark of an emotionally mature person. We can think of it this way; humility isn’t thinking less of yourself, it’s simply thinking about yourself less.
Humility isn’t just something a person has; it’s something a person does. Remember Forrest Gump’s words-“Momma always said, stupid is as stupid does.” Likewise, humble is-as humble does.
At Ronald Reagan’s funeral, the elder President Bush told a very interesting little story about Mr. Reagan when he was in the hospital recovering from a gunshot wound he received during the assassination attempt in 1981.
Just days after the surgery that repaired his life-threatening injuries, his aides discovered him on his hands & knees in his hospital room, wiping water from the floor. Bush said of Reagan, “He did this because he was worried that his nurse would get in trouble.” Bush said, “I knew him well enough to know he never thought he’d be seen doing that.”
The last words & deeds of a person before they die take on larger than life proportions. We’ll bend down to listen to the final fleeting words that fall from the lips of a loved one, memorializing those last words or actions.
The night before Jesus was taken into custody & the final chapter of His Passion began, He could have done many things. He could have had a final teaching session, impressing on His disciples again the necessity of remaining faithful to the mandate of getting the gospel to all nations.
But in those final moments, instead of words, Jesus chose an act. Obviously He felt this was the most important thing He could do with those precious moments. And what did He do? He wrapped a towel around Himself, knelt & washed the feet of His band of rough-hewn disciples.
He was saying through that act, that the disciples must understand theirs was a mission of humility & serving & without that, in the final analysis there would be no completion of His earthly mission.
Pride, self-involvement, ego & elitism won’t accomplish His work but the attitude & action of loving & serving will.
Listen to these words about our blessed Lord Jesus;
Who being in the form of God thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made Himself of no reputation, & took upon Himself the form of a servant, & was made in the likeness of men:
And being found in fashion as a man he humbled Himself & became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.
Therefore God hath highly exalted Him, & given Him a name which is above every name.
That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow of things in heaven & things in earth & things under the earth: And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. –Philippians 2:6-11
If you & I as Christians do or say things that are misunderstood by some to sound like we’re maybe a little too excited, it’s just that we’re not ashamed or embarrassed by what happened to our Savior in the simple stable or at the shameful crucifixion on Golgotha’s chalky brow.
We praise our heavenly Father who was able to send His Son down to earth having cattle for his first companions & thieves for His last, & wash us from our sins.
Lord, it’s hard to be humble when we have a savior who’s perfect in every way.
Blessings,
John
Saturday, February 20, 2016
Sunday, February 14, 2016
D.I.V.O.R.C.E
By John Stallings
Susan Doe testified that she was beaten, kicked, burned with cigarettes & stabbed.
She also stated that her husband “threw me so hard against the wall that my head went through the paneling. He loved guns so his favorite game when he was drinking was Russian roulette— “his gun, my head.”
Question: Does God forbid this woman to divorce her husband who is ruthless, savage, heartless, cold-blooded & violent? Does God forbid her divorce since sexual immorality wasn’t involved? Would you say “bound for life” adultery not committed? Are there any mitigating circumstances where mercy takes precedent over law?
Jesus said:--But if ye had known what this meaneth; I will have mercy, & not sacrifice, ye would not have condemned the guiltless. Matt. 12:7
Nancy Doe’s husband is in prison for life because he conspired to kill the wife of another man for insurance money. He took her into the woods, tied her to a tree & cut her throat from ear to ear. However he didn’t have sex with her. Question: Is Nancy bound to her husband for the rest of her life because he didn’t have sex with the woman, he just practically decapitated her?
In John 1:14 we read…and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace & truth. You see this over & over with Jesus. He was a perfect mixture of both grace & truth. In order for us to be Christlike we must find that same balance as well.
Divorce is a complicated subject. Some people can’t deal with shades of grey. They want to make everything black & white. I think you know that divorce isn’t pretty & it certainly isn’t black & white but contains shades of grey. I don’t want to upset anyone here nor do I want to open any old wounds, but I’m going to have to deal with some shades of grey in this piece.
To be perfectly candid, some divorces seem senseless, as if the two people just got tired of trying & hit the eject button. On the other hand, others are so painful it seems that separation is the only redemptive thing to do. The people in the marriage are going “nuts-o” & children as well as others are in clear & present danger.
The stats aren’t pretty. More than 50% of all marriages in America will end in divorce. The stats say second & third marriages have an even higher failure rate. If people were getting rid of their problems by getting rid of spouses you wouldn’t see second & third divorces. New marriage—same old person----equals same result.
That’s why since 1970 there has been a 430% increase in the number of couples choosing to live together before getting married. This doesn’t seem to help but only increases their chances of divorce by another 50%. Not to mention they’re living in sin. You’d think things would be different in church but the divorce rate among those who claim to be Christians has just surpassed society as a whole. Not good!
Can we conceive of any circumstance in which divorce would be acceptable to God without sexual sin on the part of one of the partners? Did Jesus actually teach that there are no grounds for divorce other than fornication or adultery? When the writers recorded the divorce teachings of Jesus, did they have in view that His words were a be-all/end-all dissertation on the subject of divorce & remarriage?
What about spouse abuse, child abuse, refusing to provide for one’s family, wasting family resources by drug-addiction or gambling, rejection, mental, spiritual or emotional abuse, unreasonable demands, harassment, behavior that beats a mate down, criticizes & destroys their hope & joy, creates depression, weakens & compromises them morally emotionally or spiritually, refusal to break from dependency on ones family, actions that show no regard for the safety of the mate, contempt for the mates decisions, refusal to allow children to be disciplined, demanding control of all martial finances, failure to regulate finances, contemptuous behavior, slander, reviling mate, falsely accusing mate pubically, dishonoring mate, etc.
Could these possibly be called reasons for divorce? These are issues that puzzle & bring consternation to millions of people. Is the best we can offer a spouse trapped in an abusive marriage & has given everything but their sanity to it, that “God will bless you if you stay in the relationship?” Is it possible that we could apply some other principles here that would be helpful & enlightening & give us a more proper understanding & course of action than just the few verses on the subject in the Bible?
I realize that the subject of divorce is extremely controversial. Dealing with it is as sensitive as trying to perform a root canal without using Novocain. There’s no doubt that divorce is one of the world’s most common social problems & carries an immense stigma especially among religious folk. The church lays a heavy guilt burden on divorced people.
It isn’t in the mind & heart of this writer to minimize the sacredness of marriage or the tragedy of divorce, however, If we look at the problem of divorce through a “theological straw,” we can create impossible situations for many innocent victims scarred by divorce. Some people are so narrow minded they can look through a keyhole with both eyes. But have you noticed almost without exception they change their attitude when divorce comes to their doorsteps? It’s amazing how a little trouble can change people’s theology.
This much is obvious; while couples need to be challenged to be faithful to their marriage vows at all costs, there is a need for ministry to those who’ve been divorced to help them move past the guilt & shame that accompanies it.
When speaking of divorce, well-meaning people will often raise the standard too high or lower it. On one hand people will raise the standard seeking to stop divorce saying there’s no divorce for anybody, anytime & absolutely no remarriage for anyone anytime, period. On the other hand sincere people will emphasize that we must love, care for & accept those touched by divorce. While they rightly stress forgiving, they end up lowering the standard to the same as the worlds, & that’s Biblically wrong.
What is needed is an encouraging & redemptive word for those who’ve been shattered by divorce letting them know that God hasn’t disenfranchised them & doesn’t love them less than others: that the Bible isn’t an “anti-divorce document,” & they deserve to be free from spiritual & emotional burdens attached to divorce, at the same time continuing to build up the solemnity of marriage.
Every effort should be made to avoid the extreme positions held by those who condemn all divorce, even when the Bible grants it, as well as those who condone any & all divorce under all circumstances. A balanced position has to be found between legalism & license so that we might do as Jesus said; -bring liberty to those who are bruised.
Every Biblical passage needs to be examined & looked at in its proper context, & it should be asked how that passage of scripture fits our times. While the Bible doesn’t speak to every divorce situation specifically, it does give us timeless principles & truths we can apply.
Divorce isn’t primarily a theological issue but rather is a people issue. Any theological position on divorce that results in a heavy-handed condemnation of divorced people falls short of the Spirit of Christ. God isn’t really in the theology business; He’s in the people business.
JESUS WAS IN THE PEOPLE BUSINESS
When the Pharisees brought the woman caught in adultery to Jesus, & had taken up stones getting ready to stone her, in a very real sense He risked His life to stand up for her.
I experienced divorce some thirty years ago & I can tell you there’s no pain quite like it. I’ve been told that losing a spouse to death is worse in the short term but divorce is more painful in the long term.
In reality, divorce is a form of death; the death of a relationship. The spouses, children, relatives & friends are the mourners, the lawyers are the undertakers, the court is the cemetery where the coffin is sealed & the dead bones of the marriage are buried.
In cases where a spouse has died, at least that renders them unable to continue to try to hurt the spouse they left. In a high percentage of divorces, one or both of the couple, if they’re still bitter, will spend many years trashing the ex-spouse & do all possible to keep a war going.
Counseling centers, pastor’s offices, psychiatric services & happy hours are running over with people looking for relief from the pain caused by divorced. Obviously divorce isn’t as painful for some as it is for others. Some marriages are so messed up & destructive that divorce comes as a blessing. But for most people, divorce leaves a deep painful wound that takes a long time to heal. Some never fully recover.
Many divorced people will vouch for the fact that for a long time after the experience they feel as if they’re living a nightmare from which they can’t wake up. Part of the hurt is being judged by others as “adulterous, criminal, neurotic, or at best frivolous & unfortunate.”
Divorce is devastating for the children because they often interpret it as a personal rejection & blame themselves thinking that somehow they caused the break-up. Tragically, the cumulative effect of divorces weakens the foundation of a nation & in the long term everyone experiences negative fallout.
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT DIVORCE?
The first observation we can make without fear of contradiction is that the Bible has precious little to say on the subject. For example, there are over 500 verses in the Bible on faith, over 500 verses on prayer but only 34 times in the Word of God does the word divorce appear. There are many diverse situations that bring on divorce but unfortunately the Bible doesn’t deal directly with many of these situations.
As an example, the verse that says, God is love, has just as much to say about divorce as the verse that says I hate divorce. We can’t just look at one passage & think we’re getting the totality of what God has to say to people going through any problem. The entirety of Scripture must be taken into account when weighing sensitive issues.
Let’s be real. When God says, “I hate divorce;” it doesn’t mean He hates divorced people. He loves divorced people as much as anyone else. Doesn’t everyone hate divorce? The school system hates divorce; society hates divorce & divorced people, more than anyone, hate divorce. The children of divorce hate it as they’re the ones who walk into the court room & watch innocently as their parents’ divorce is finalized. Divorce is a no-win situation any way you look at it because someone always gets hurt.
Any suggestion that God hates divorced people is absurd on its face. When God says He hates divorce, what does He mean? When God uses those words He isn’t saying what some folk hear. His voice doesn’t thunder out to shake the earth to show us his anger & disgust. To the contrary, God is speaking compassionately to those who’ve lived through the trauma of divorce. God hates anything that causes so much pain to children, to families, the church & to society.
The following is an overview of every biblical passage on divorce.
1. The Mosaic Law---Leviticus 21:7, 14, -22; 13--Ezekiel 44:22 Old Testament priests were forbidden to marry divorced or widowed women as a symbol of the priesthood.
2. Numbers 30:9—Vows taken by widowed or divorced women stood on their own merit while those taken by married women could be fulfilled by their husbands. Num.30:6-8
3. The OT Prophets-1 Chronicles 8:8—Historical reference to a divorce in the linage of Saul.
Isaiah 50:1—Jeremiah 3:8 –Both these passages provide a play on words referring to God giving the nation of Israel a certificate of divorce due to her spiritual adultery.
4. Jesus’ teaching—Matthew 1:19-When Joseph learned Mary was pregnant before their marriage he had decided to divorce her privately until God revealed to him that she was carrying the Messiah.—Matt.5:31,32—In His sermon on the Mount, Jesus confronted the frivolous reasons which men used to divorce their wives, stating that adultery is the only legitimate grounds. Matt.19:1-9—Jesus reiterated to the Pharisees who questioned Him about divorce that adultery is the only grounds for divorce. He added that the only reason Moses permitted them a “certificate of divorce” was due to the hardness of their hearts.
Mark 10:1-9, Like 16:18---Unjustifiable divorce amounts to adultery in subsequent remarriage. Jesus underscored the permanence of marriage as God’s will: “What God has joined together let man not separate.
5. Paul’s Teaching—1 Corinthians 7:11-13, 27—this is the only apostolic passage on divorce & remarriage recorded in the New Testament. Paul prefixed his remarks by saying,-To the rest I say this, [I, not the Lord,] he spoke as a seasoned apostle by divine concession not divine commandment as he did earlier in this passage. His wisdom is, however, inspired by the Holy Spirit.
Verses 11-14- Believers married to unbelievers are to minister to their unbelieving mates not divorce them. Verse 27:-Paul poignantly states, are you married? Do not seek a divorce.
Verse 39. While the word Divorce does not appear in this verse Paul stated that couples are only bound together in marriage while both are still living. The death of one’s mate frees the other to remarry but only “in the Lord.” You can see what I mean when I say the information on divorce is limited.
When we pull all this together several timeless truths emerge;
• God’s will for married couples to make a life-long commitment in a monogamous relationship: a principle spelled out clearly.
• Due to the hardness of men’s hearts & the problem of unfaithfulness, divorce was granted as a “divine concession.” It provided primarily for women who suffered from abusive relationships.
• The primary grounds for divorce given in the Mosaic Law involved a husband discovering something about his wife i.e. adultery or sexual immorality.
• Since men often divorced their wives for frivolous reasons a husband was required to provide his wife a certificate of divorce which allowed her to remarry without shame.
• Jesus taught that adultery constitutes legitimate grounds for divorce while limiting remarriage in order to discourage widespread divorce & remarriage by those who had lost sight of the sanctity of marriage.
• The early church expanded the grounds of divorce to include abandonment.
Just as in The Garden of Eden, God loves us so much that when we turned our backs on Him, in order to save us from ourselves, He adapted Himself to the conditions we created by our abuses of His freedom. In The Garden He slew animals & made skins for Adam & Eve to wear. We might call that God’s modifications. But we should never confuse God’s modifications with God’s ultimate Intentions. Nor should we confuse God’s modifications with His acceptance or approval. God hates divorce but He allows divorce in some cases to keep us from doing worse to each other.
Let’s be honest, it takes two people to have a healthy, vibrant marriage. It’s impossible for one person to keep a marriage together if the other person acts irresponsibly, ungodly & destructively. In many cases one person does everything he or she can possibly do to have a good marriage while the other person does nothing, leaving no other option but divorce.
Is a spouse in a marriage like that marked for the rest of their life & forced to wear the scarlet letter “D” because they were victimized by a destructive relationship they couldn’t save? Absolutely not.
If you are in a troubled relationship, are close to divorce or perhaps you’ve already gone through divorce, here are some helpful steps;
1. Repent.
Repentance means to change the way you think & live. Learn from every sin or mistake so that you won’t make the same mistakes again. Remember God forgives & divorce isn’t the unpardonable sin.
2. Reconciliation
Make every attempt at reconciliation if possible so that you know you’ve done everything within your power to save your marriage. God wants us to live up to our commitments even when it’s difficult & painful.
3. Recovery
Take time to heal. Watch the rebound effect. Learn what you can from the marriage that failed. Don’t ricochet immediately into another relationship with the closest available person.
4. Restoration
Though martial reconciliation is most likely out of the question, try to reconcile your relationship with your former spouse. Don’t live in bitterness for the rest of your life. Many divorced people will do everything in their power to turn the children against the other spouse. Enough damage has already been done & now it’s important to the children of divorce that their parents relate civilly to each other.
5. Reorientation
Order your life & relationships according to the Word of God. Read carefully what the Bible says about love & marriage. Resolve to have a Christ-centered marriage; a covenant, not a contract. Read books designed to help couples in a Christian marriage.
If & when you go into another relationship, get rid of the word divorce. The problem is & always has been an attitude of “I’ve got to do what’s best for me.” You know what that attitude springs from? Selfishness. Sin. To focus on self is to live the exact opposite way God created us to live. Which is why “what’s best for me,” never works. Contrast “I’ve got to do what’s best for me” with-“We’re in this together, no matter what” Now that’s commitment. “Incompatibility” is a word the lawyers use a lot but too often it’s just two stubborn people saying, “I refuse to change.”
The more self-centered we become the more angry & bitter we become. We get the exact opposite of what we want.
Finally, face your future with hope & keep pressing for the mark. Don’t look over your shoulder wondering what might have been. Fix your gaze on a new horizon & dream of tomorrow. Remember your future is as bright as the promises of God.
If you’ve gone through the pain of divorce, know that you’re not a second class citizen. Many have fought for their marriages doing all they could to keep them together sometimes all by themselves. Thank you for sticking with your commitment & know that God will honor it even if you’re doing it alone.
If you’re exhausted & ready to throw in the towel on the whole Enchilada, hang in there. Keep working at it. God is working along side you even if you don’t feel His presence.
Some years ago in Scotland two friends spent the day fishing. That evening they went to a local inn for dinner. One of them got carried away describing the size of the fish he caught. As he flung his hands in the air, he hit the cup of tea the waitress was about to put on the table. The tea cup was dashed against the wall leaving an ugly stain. The fisherman was embarrassed & began apologizing profusely.
Another man got up & came over to the table. “Don’t worry about it,” he said as he pulled a pen from his pocket & began to sketch around the ugly stain. Soon there appeared a majestic royal Elk with his antlers spread upward. The artist was Sir Edwin Landseer, England’s foremost painter of animals.
In the same way, God takes His pen of unconditional love & mercy, sketches over the ugly stains in our lives & recreates us as His masterpiece.
Blessings,
John
Susan Doe testified that she was beaten, kicked, burned with cigarettes & stabbed.
She also stated that her husband “threw me so hard against the wall that my head went through the paneling. He loved guns so his favorite game when he was drinking was Russian roulette— “his gun, my head.”
Question: Does God forbid this woman to divorce her husband who is ruthless, savage, heartless, cold-blooded & violent? Does God forbid her divorce since sexual immorality wasn’t involved? Would you say “bound for life” adultery not committed? Are there any mitigating circumstances where mercy takes precedent over law?
Jesus said:--But if ye had known what this meaneth; I will have mercy, & not sacrifice, ye would not have condemned the guiltless. Matt. 12:7
Nancy Doe’s husband is in prison for life because he conspired to kill the wife of another man for insurance money. He took her into the woods, tied her to a tree & cut her throat from ear to ear. However he didn’t have sex with her. Question: Is Nancy bound to her husband for the rest of her life because he didn’t have sex with the woman, he just practically decapitated her?
In John 1:14 we read…and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace & truth. You see this over & over with Jesus. He was a perfect mixture of both grace & truth. In order for us to be Christlike we must find that same balance as well.
Divorce is a complicated subject. Some people can’t deal with shades of grey. They want to make everything black & white. I think you know that divorce isn’t pretty & it certainly isn’t black & white but contains shades of grey. I don’t want to upset anyone here nor do I want to open any old wounds, but I’m going to have to deal with some shades of grey in this piece.
To be perfectly candid, some divorces seem senseless, as if the two people just got tired of trying & hit the eject button. On the other hand, others are so painful it seems that separation is the only redemptive thing to do. The people in the marriage are going “nuts-o” & children as well as others are in clear & present danger.
The stats aren’t pretty. More than 50% of all marriages in America will end in divorce. The stats say second & third marriages have an even higher failure rate. If people were getting rid of their problems by getting rid of spouses you wouldn’t see second & third divorces. New marriage—same old person----equals same result.
That’s why since 1970 there has been a 430% increase in the number of couples choosing to live together before getting married. This doesn’t seem to help but only increases their chances of divorce by another 50%. Not to mention they’re living in sin. You’d think things would be different in church but the divorce rate among those who claim to be Christians has just surpassed society as a whole. Not good!
Can we conceive of any circumstance in which divorce would be acceptable to God without sexual sin on the part of one of the partners? Did Jesus actually teach that there are no grounds for divorce other than fornication or adultery? When the writers recorded the divorce teachings of Jesus, did they have in view that His words were a be-all/end-all dissertation on the subject of divorce & remarriage?
What about spouse abuse, child abuse, refusing to provide for one’s family, wasting family resources by drug-addiction or gambling, rejection, mental, spiritual or emotional abuse, unreasonable demands, harassment, behavior that beats a mate down, criticizes & destroys their hope & joy, creates depression, weakens & compromises them morally emotionally or spiritually, refusal to break from dependency on ones family, actions that show no regard for the safety of the mate, contempt for the mates decisions, refusal to allow children to be disciplined, demanding control of all martial finances, failure to regulate finances, contemptuous behavior, slander, reviling mate, falsely accusing mate pubically, dishonoring mate, etc.
Could these possibly be called reasons for divorce? These are issues that puzzle & bring consternation to millions of people. Is the best we can offer a spouse trapped in an abusive marriage & has given everything but their sanity to it, that “God will bless you if you stay in the relationship?” Is it possible that we could apply some other principles here that would be helpful & enlightening & give us a more proper understanding & course of action than just the few verses on the subject in the Bible?
I realize that the subject of divorce is extremely controversial. Dealing with it is as sensitive as trying to perform a root canal without using Novocain. There’s no doubt that divorce is one of the world’s most common social problems & carries an immense stigma especially among religious folk. The church lays a heavy guilt burden on divorced people.
It isn’t in the mind & heart of this writer to minimize the sacredness of marriage or the tragedy of divorce, however, If we look at the problem of divorce through a “theological straw,” we can create impossible situations for many innocent victims scarred by divorce. Some people are so narrow minded they can look through a keyhole with both eyes. But have you noticed almost without exception they change their attitude when divorce comes to their doorsteps? It’s amazing how a little trouble can change people’s theology.
This much is obvious; while couples need to be challenged to be faithful to their marriage vows at all costs, there is a need for ministry to those who’ve been divorced to help them move past the guilt & shame that accompanies it.
When speaking of divorce, well-meaning people will often raise the standard too high or lower it. On one hand people will raise the standard seeking to stop divorce saying there’s no divorce for anybody, anytime & absolutely no remarriage for anyone anytime, period. On the other hand sincere people will emphasize that we must love, care for & accept those touched by divorce. While they rightly stress forgiving, they end up lowering the standard to the same as the worlds, & that’s Biblically wrong.
What is needed is an encouraging & redemptive word for those who’ve been shattered by divorce letting them know that God hasn’t disenfranchised them & doesn’t love them less than others: that the Bible isn’t an “anti-divorce document,” & they deserve to be free from spiritual & emotional burdens attached to divorce, at the same time continuing to build up the solemnity of marriage.
Every effort should be made to avoid the extreme positions held by those who condemn all divorce, even when the Bible grants it, as well as those who condone any & all divorce under all circumstances. A balanced position has to be found between legalism & license so that we might do as Jesus said; -bring liberty to those who are bruised.
Every Biblical passage needs to be examined & looked at in its proper context, & it should be asked how that passage of scripture fits our times. While the Bible doesn’t speak to every divorce situation specifically, it does give us timeless principles & truths we can apply.
Divorce isn’t primarily a theological issue but rather is a people issue. Any theological position on divorce that results in a heavy-handed condemnation of divorced people falls short of the Spirit of Christ. God isn’t really in the theology business; He’s in the people business.
JESUS WAS IN THE PEOPLE BUSINESS
When the Pharisees brought the woman caught in adultery to Jesus, & had taken up stones getting ready to stone her, in a very real sense He risked His life to stand up for her.
I experienced divorce some thirty years ago & I can tell you there’s no pain quite like it. I’ve been told that losing a spouse to death is worse in the short term but divorce is more painful in the long term.
In reality, divorce is a form of death; the death of a relationship. The spouses, children, relatives & friends are the mourners, the lawyers are the undertakers, the court is the cemetery where the coffin is sealed & the dead bones of the marriage are buried.
In cases where a spouse has died, at least that renders them unable to continue to try to hurt the spouse they left. In a high percentage of divorces, one or both of the couple, if they’re still bitter, will spend many years trashing the ex-spouse & do all possible to keep a war going.
Counseling centers, pastor’s offices, psychiatric services & happy hours are running over with people looking for relief from the pain caused by divorced. Obviously divorce isn’t as painful for some as it is for others. Some marriages are so messed up & destructive that divorce comes as a blessing. But for most people, divorce leaves a deep painful wound that takes a long time to heal. Some never fully recover.
Many divorced people will vouch for the fact that for a long time after the experience they feel as if they’re living a nightmare from which they can’t wake up. Part of the hurt is being judged by others as “adulterous, criminal, neurotic, or at best frivolous & unfortunate.”
Divorce is devastating for the children because they often interpret it as a personal rejection & blame themselves thinking that somehow they caused the break-up. Tragically, the cumulative effect of divorces weakens the foundation of a nation & in the long term everyone experiences negative fallout.
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT DIVORCE?
The first observation we can make without fear of contradiction is that the Bible has precious little to say on the subject. For example, there are over 500 verses in the Bible on faith, over 500 verses on prayer but only 34 times in the Word of God does the word divorce appear. There are many diverse situations that bring on divorce but unfortunately the Bible doesn’t deal directly with many of these situations.
As an example, the verse that says, God is love, has just as much to say about divorce as the verse that says I hate divorce. We can’t just look at one passage & think we’re getting the totality of what God has to say to people going through any problem. The entirety of Scripture must be taken into account when weighing sensitive issues.
Let’s be real. When God says, “I hate divorce;” it doesn’t mean He hates divorced people. He loves divorced people as much as anyone else. Doesn’t everyone hate divorce? The school system hates divorce; society hates divorce & divorced people, more than anyone, hate divorce. The children of divorce hate it as they’re the ones who walk into the court room & watch innocently as their parents’ divorce is finalized. Divorce is a no-win situation any way you look at it because someone always gets hurt.
Any suggestion that God hates divorced people is absurd on its face. When God says He hates divorce, what does He mean? When God uses those words He isn’t saying what some folk hear. His voice doesn’t thunder out to shake the earth to show us his anger & disgust. To the contrary, God is speaking compassionately to those who’ve lived through the trauma of divorce. God hates anything that causes so much pain to children, to families, the church & to society.
The following is an overview of every biblical passage on divorce.
1. The Mosaic Law---Leviticus 21:7, 14, -22; 13--Ezekiel 44:22 Old Testament priests were forbidden to marry divorced or widowed women as a symbol of the priesthood.
2. Numbers 30:9—Vows taken by widowed or divorced women stood on their own merit while those taken by married women could be fulfilled by their husbands. Num.30:6-8
3. The OT Prophets-1 Chronicles 8:8—Historical reference to a divorce in the linage of Saul.
Isaiah 50:1—Jeremiah 3:8 –Both these passages provide a play on words referring to God giving the nation of Israel a certificate of divorce due to her spiritual adultery.
4. Jesus’ teaching—Matthew 1:19-When Joseph learned Mary was pregnant before their marriage he had decided to divorce her privately until God revealed to him that she was carrying the Messiah.—Matt.5:31,32—In His sermon on the Mount, Jesus confronted the frivolous reasons which men used to divorce their wives, stating that adultery is the only legitimate grounds. Matt.19:1-9—Jesus reiterated to the Pharisees who questioned Him about divorce that adultery is the only grounds for divorce. He added that the only reason Moses permitted them a “certificate of divorce” was due to the hardness of their hearts.
Mark 10:1-9, Like 16:18---Unjustifiable divorce amounts to adultery in subsequent remarriage. Jesus underscored the permanence of marriage as God’s will: “What God has joined together let man not separate.
5. Paul’s Teaching—1 Corinthians 7:11-13, 27—this is the only apostolic passage on divorce & remarriage recorded in the New Testament. Paul prefixed his remarks by saying,-To the rest I say this, [I, not the Lord,] he spoke as a seasoned apostle by divine concession not divine commandment as he did earlier in this passage. His wisdom is, however, inspired by the Holy Spirit.
Verses 11-14- Believers married to unbelievers are to minister to their unbelieving mates not divorce them. Verse 27:-Paul poignantly states, are you married? Do not seek a divorce.
Verse 39. While the word Divorce does not appear in this verse Paul stated that couples are only bound together in marriage while both are still living. The death of one’s mate frees the other to remarry but only “in the Lord.” You can see what I mean when I say the information on divorce is limited.
When we pull all this together several timeless truths emerge;
• God’s will for married couples to make a life-long commitment in a monogamous relationship: a principle spelled out clearly.
• Due to the hardness of men’s hearts & the problem of unfaithfulness, divorce was granted as a “divine concession.” It provided primarily for women who suffered from abusive relationships.
• The primary grounds for divorce given in the Mosaic Law involved a husband discovering something about his wife i.e. adultery or sexual immorality.
• Since men often divorced their wives for frivolous reasons a husband was required to provide his wife a certificate of divorce which allowed her to remarry without shame.
• Jesus taught that adultery constitutes legitimate grounds for divorce while limiting remarriage in order to discourage widespread divorce & remarriage by those who had lost sight of the sanctity of marriage.
• The early church expanded the grounds of divorce to include abandonment.
Just as in The Garden of Eden, God loves us so much that when we turned our backs on Him, in order to save us from ourselves, He adapted Himself to the conditions we created by our abuses of His freedom. In The Garden He slew animals & made skins for Adam & Eve to wear. We might call that God’s modifications. But we should never confuse God’s modifications with God’s ultimate Intentions. Nor should we confuse God’s modifications with His acceptance or approval. God hates divorce but He allows divorce in some cases to keep us from doing worse to each other.
Let’s be honest, it takes two people to have a healthy, vibrant marriage. It’s impossible for one person to keep a marriage together if the other person acts irresponsibly, ungodly & destructively. In many cases one person does everything he or she can possibly do to have a good marriage while the other person does nothing, leaving no other option but divorce.
Is a spouse in a marriage like that marked for the rest of their life & forced to wear the scarlet letter “D” because they were victimized by a destructive relationship they couldn’t save? Absolutely not.
If you are in a troubled relationship, are close to divorce or perhaps you’ve already gone through divorce, here are some helpful steps;
1. Repent.
Repentance means to change the way you think & live. Learn from every sin or mistake so that you won’t make the same mistakes again. Remember God forgives & divorce isn’t the unpardonable sin.
2. Reconciliation
Make every attempt at reconciliation if possible so that you know you’ve done everything within your power to save your marriage. God wants us to live up to our commitments even when it’s difficult & painful.
3. Recovery
Take time to heal. Watch the rebound effect. Learn what you can from the marriage that failed. Don’t ricochet immediately into another relationship with the closest available person.
4. Restoration
Though martial reconciliation is most likely out of the question, try to reconcile your relationship with your former spouse. Don’t live in bitterness for the rest of your life. Many divorced people will do everything in their power to turn the children against the other spouse. Enough damage has already been done & now it’s important to the children of divorce that their parents relate civilly to each other.
5. Reorientation
Order your life & relationships according to the Word of God. Read carefully what the Bible says about love & marriage. Resolve to have a Christ-centered marriage; a covenant, not a contract. Read books designed to help couples in a Christian marriage.
If & when you go into another relationship, get rid of the word divorce. The problem is & always has been an attitude of “I’ve got to do what’s best for me.” You know what that attitude springs from? Selfishness. Sin. To focus on self is to live the exact opposite way God created us to live. Which is why “what’s best for me,” never works. Contrast “I’ve got to do what’s best for me” with-“We’re in this together, no matter what” Now that’s commitment. “Incompatibility” is a word the lawyers use a lot but too often it’s just two stubborn people saying, “I refuse to change.”
The more self-centered we become the more angry & bitter we become. We get the exact opposite of what we want.
Finally, face your future with hope & keep pressing for the mark. Don’t look over your shoulder wondering what might have been. Fix your gaze on a new horizon & dream of tomorrow. Remember your future is as bright as the promises of God.
If you’ve gone through the pain of divorce, know that you’re not a second class citizen. Many have fought for their marriages doing all they could to keep them together sometimes all by themselves. Thank you for sticking with your commitment & know that God will honor it even if you’re doing it alone.
If you’re exhausted & ready to throw in the towel on the whole Enchilada, hang in there. Keep working at it. God is working along side you even if you don’t feel His presence.
Some years ago in Scotland two friends spent the day fishing. That evening they went to a local inn for dinner. One of them got carried away describing the size of the fish he caught. As he flung his hands in the air, he hit the cup of tea the waitress was about to put on the table. The tea cup was dashed against the wall leaving an ugly stain. The fisherman was embarrassed & began apologizing profusely.
Another man got up & came over to the table. “Don’t worry about it,” he said as he pulled a pen from his pocket & began to sketch around the ugly stain. Soon there appeared a majestic royal Elk with his antlers spread upward. The artist was Sir Edwin Landseer, England’s foremost painter of animals.
In the same way, God takes His pen of unconditional love & mercy, sketches over the ugly stains in our lives & recreates us as His masterpiece.
Blessings,
John
Monday, February 1, 2016
Emptiness-Recipe For Disaster
By John Stallings
If you could do anything you wanted, go anywhere you chose, buy anything that appealed to you - would you be happy?
There was such a man. He was a powerful, wise, respected, wealthy man. He was able to do anything he wanted because he was the king, the absolute monarch of his nation. He had all the options imaginable in life because he was unbelievably wealthy.
He wrote three books. One when he was young and head- over- hills in love, -The Song of Solomon. Book number two was written when he was a little older, the greatest book on successful practical living ever written, The Book of Proverbs.
The last book he wrote is simply the testimony of a burned out life, despondent, weary and hopeless. The first paragraphs of Ecclesiastes are anything but inspiring.
Listen to verses one and two:
"The words of the teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem: 'Meaningless! Meaningless!' says the teacher. 'Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless."-
What a way to start a book. This book screams…“Been There, Done That, Now What?"
Of any place he wanted to go under the sun, Solomon could say, "Been there." Of any lifestyle or act of pleasure or fulfillment, Solomon could say, "Done that." Having been there and done that and finding it meaningless,he asked, "Now what?"
It’s not enough to say "Solomon, you ought to go to church." Solomon went to church. In fact, Solomon built the Temple. Further, Solomon preached and taught in the church. Verse one calls him, "the teacher." In other places he is called, "the preacher." He asked for and got wisdom which comes from God and he taught it in the Proverbs and preached it in the temple, but he lived by the wisdom which came from his own mind.
He indeed became rich, powerful, respected and EMPTY.
Let’s be real. Just as in the case of Solomon, our life can be empty. Perhaps in spite of all the glitter and glamour; deep beneath the surface lays an empty reservoir of lost dreams and hopes. Void and lack plague our lives and prohibit our pursuits of fulfillment and satisfaction.
All of us, in spite of our ages, wages, races and ethic identities, have to wrestle with the issue of emptiness. Empty marriages, careers, and even ministries sadly are the norms of our times. Life with all of its commotions and promotions still leave us empty. These are “The days of our lives.”
We pep and step, bling and ching, style and profile yet we are empty. “The butler, the baker, and even the candlestick maker, Lottie and Dottie and everybody” are wrestling with this thing called emptiness! All the subjects, servants and those who are served can’t escape cold harsh winter winds of emptiness. The question that confronts us all today is how do we deal with emptiness in our lives? How do we deal with failing and faulty finances, bankrupt relationships, broken homes and hopes that leave us stranded on an island of suffering and sorrow like Skipper and Gilligan-or Tom Hanks?
EMPTINESS MADE CHRIST’ FIRST MIRACLE NECESSARY.
God does big things in small places. The first miracle of Jesus took place in a place called, Cana of Galilee. Cana was an inconspicuous and obscure little town that lay outside of Nazareth. You talk about the “hinterlands” Cana had no social significance in its day!
However there happened to be a wedding in Cana and Mary the mother of Jesus, and Jesus and his disciples had all been invited to this wedding.
Cultural norms would have us to understand that this was a “peasant” wedding. Otherwise, Mary, of low estate would not have been there. Jesus’ ministry began in a small, and unimportant town.
Weddings then were a lot like weddings now; they were a big deal. The bride from babyhood had been prepared for this moment. For girls in Jewish culture, from the moment they were born, they were never allowed to be alone with any male other than their father and brothers. The lack of virginity could be a disgrace and financial liability to her family. The wedding ceremony would take place late in the evening after a time of feasting. Note that late in the evening means the wedding took place at the dawn of the Jewish day. The father of the bride would take his daughter on his arm, and with the wedding party and parade through the streets of town so that everyone could come out and congratulate the bride.
Finally the wedding party would arrive at the home of the groom. The wedding actually took place in the front door of the groom’s house. After the ceremony the bride and groom walked through the streets accompanied by flaming torches. This trip could take hours, many guest would wait along the road and join the wedding party as the procession passed. Attendants would walk with them keeping a canopy over their heads.
Once the couple arrived back at the house of the groom, the groom would carry the bride over the threshold and then stand at the door as the processional party entered the house. All that were to be a part of the festivities had to enter the house before the door was shut. The couple kept open house for a week. They were treated like royalty. They dressed in fancy clothes and many times actually wore crowns on their heads. Whatever they desired was granted. Jesus and his disciples showed up at this wedding by invitation.
Whenever Jesus shows up it is always the breaking of a new day.
CHECK THE GUEST LIST OF YOUR LIFE
If things are to start off right in our lives, or progressively get better Jesus must be invited. In those areas where we find emptiness in our lives we should check the guest list and see if Jesus is there.
It’s Jesus that transforms houses into homes, weddings into marriages, males to men, and females to women. Without Jesus our bright day is dark, our happiest moment is shallow, our lives are mere shells of what they could be. We need to check the guest list and see if we have invited Jesus in those empty and lonely areas.
Many have invited some Hollywood star, or musician to occupy an important place in their life. With others it may be some political cause. You and I need to check the guest list and evaluate who has access in our lives. We need to issue summons of restrictions for some people and things and extend a VIP invitation for JESUS. He wants to come into your situation, but He will not break in. He stands at the door of our hearts and seeks access.
Often we invite everything but the right things into our lives. I challenge you to check the guest list of your life and make sure Jesus is there. This story emphasizes that the disciples were the disciples of Jesus. They were there because of their affiliation and occupation with Jesus.
People miss the celebrations of life because of their lack of connectivity to Jesus. There is coming according to the book of Revelation another wedding celebration and only Jesus and his disciples/children will be there. Have we dedicated ourselves to the discipline of becoming His disciples?
When Jesus is in the house, he brings generous abundant blessing. He brings forgiveness, he brings the gift of the Holy Spirit, he brings purpose and direction for our lives, he brings the best. Jesus said - I have come that they might have abundant life. What a difference it makes when Jesus comes.
Not only should we check the guest list and ensure we have given access to Jesus, but we must ;
RECOGNIZE OUR NEED AND BRING IT TO JESUS
Mary, says to Jesus -they have no wine, -translation, we’re empty, we’re all out.
The Jews didn’t get drunk at these celebrations. Drunkenness was considered a social disgrace and spiritual defilement. But the host could have actually been sued for a breach of hospitality to his guest if there was no libation. This was no minor issue. Mary understood the urgency of the moment and so she comes to Jesus and says, “Son, we’ve got a problem here, and we need your help. The groom’s family is running out of wine.”
There are differences of opinion as the whether the wine Jesus made was fermented or just grape juice. I’ll let you make up your own mind about that. All I’ll say is- I’ll gladly have a glass of anything Jesus makes.
MARY HAS A LITTLE TALK WITH JESUS
Mary is obeying a Biblical principle here. We’re told;
…. in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.- Philippians 4:6
Mary coming to Jesus with such a problem is a portrait of what we need to do when we are running out of spiritual strength and life is getting on our “last nerve.” This is how to respond to empty situations. Mary goes to Jesus and tells him all about it. When we’re empty we shouldn’t hesitate, or cover up. Follow Mary’s example and come clean about the situation.
Mary shows us that if we are serious about our search for solutions to the problem of emptiness we must be real about our situation. This is a prerequisite to the manifestation of God’s power; he requires that before He will show up; we must be willing to call out to Him.
There’s something here that at first blush seems a bit puzzling; Jesus seems to tell his mother off: ‘Woman, what concern is that to you and to me?’ The NIV puts it: ‘Dear woman, why do you involve me?’ ‘My time or hour has not yet come.’ It helps us if we remember that in different cultures people have different customs and speak in different ways.
In the culture that Jesus lived, it was in no way rude to address a person as woman, although we would think it rather rude. That’s why NIV makes it ‘Dear woman’. Jesus was not rude to his mother, but rather what he was saying to her was ‘My main purpose in life from now on is not solving all the practical problems of my family and friends. God has given me another task to do, and the time for that has not yet come.’
Jesus basically came to do two things; to teach and preach to the “house of Israel” then to address himself to the mission of dying for the sins of the whole world. Remember, he lectured the Syro-Phoenician woman about this. Then he went ahead and granted her request anyway. His mercy constrained Him to reach through dispensational walls if necessary to help people.
Though we realize that Jesus is concerned with greater issues than just our minute problems and difficulties, that’s no reason to stop bringing to Him our requests and concerns and putting our trust in him. Mary heard what he said but she still persisted in her faith and trust, knowing Jesus was going to make something good happen. She says to the servants, ‘do whatever he tells you.’ That is always very good advice for anyone,
DO WHAT JESUS TELLS YOU TO DO
There were six large water pots available that had been used for Jewish Rites of purification, but Jesus pressed them into a different use.
Jesus took 180 gallons of Jewish laws, the rituals of purification, and transformed them into 180 gallons of grace. Jesus took 180 gallons of guilt, 180 gallons of laws, laws and more laws, 180 gallons of “don’t do this and don’t do that,” 180 gallons of laws that numbered more than 600 regulations. Jesus then transformed these religious regulations into a new religion, a new wine that would burst old wine skins. Jesus transformed the old religion into the new religion.
There is enough grace here for a whole city, enough grace for a whole state, enough grace for the whole wide world. From God’s fullness of grace, right up to the brim, we all have received grace upon grace upon grace. I love that line in the text where the vats are filled up right to the brim, right up to the top of the lip of the vessel.
THE DANGER OF EMPTINESS –SEVEN MORE DEVILS
Let’s look at another example of emptiness.
Jesus said,
“When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he goes through dry places, seeking rest; and finding none, he says, I will return to the house from which I came. And when he comes, he finds it swept and put in order. Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there, and the last state of that man is worse than the first.”
This is the story of a demoniac who suffered a relapse. The man was demon possessed, and by the power of God the demon was cast out of his body. A demon is a fallen angel. But after the demon was cast out of him, the man did not repent of his sins, improve his life or make any changes in his life. Again, an empty life is a recipe for disaster.
When the demon came back and found the man's heart and life empty he entered the man's body again and brought seven more demons with him more wicked than himself. Jesus said the last state of that man was worse than the first. The chief lesson in this passage is the danger of emptiness of good in a person's life after God has cast evil out of his life.
There are two profound truths in this passage. One is that unless our minds are possessed of good, they will be possessed of evil. The other valuable truth is that evil once removed from our lives can return to our lives, and as a result, we will be far worse than ever were before. This story is about far more than a demon possessed man, for Jesus said the same thing that happened to this man could happen to most of the nation of Israel. In Matthew's account of this story Jesus said,
“So it will also be with this wicked generation”(Matthew 12: 45
When a demon returns to a life after being put out and he finds man's heart bad and empty of good, he’s even better suited for that man than before. He had not repented of his sinful life, and therefore was a very fit dwelling place for a demon. Some people today, after God has forgiven them of their sin, refuse to correct their lives and grow in grace, fall into a worse condition than before they became Christians.
Judas Iscariot is a perfect example of that. Jesus spoke of people whose last state became worse than their first state. As the demon possessed man had a relapse, many Christians have had relapses into sinful living.Then Jesus made an application of this teaching to the entire Jewish nation by saying, “Even so shall it be also to this evil generation.”(Matthew 12:45).
The last years of Jerusalem before the Romans destroyed it were years of wickedness. Their condition was evil when Christ walked among them, but by 70 A.D. they were in worse condition than when Jesus walked their streets. What Jesus is saying here is that the nation would be worse off for having known Him and rejecting His teachings. His teachings could have changed their lives and made them righteous and holy in God's sight.
What all this amounts to is a serious warning about negative improvement only. To receive forgiveness for sins of the past life, but make no positive course correction and improvement in our lives puts us in a most dangerous condition. This is quite common in Christianity. People get rid of their sins, but then make little or no improvement in their character. At conversion the character of Christ is not transferred to us in some mysterious way as a gift.
The only righteous people are those who practice righteousness. We must correct the mistakes of the past; and we must develop a Christian character. God won’t do that for us. We must do the repenting and the changing. We must overcome evil in our lives; and Christ will not do that for us. He cleanses our heart from evil at the new birth, but we can leave our hearts empty; if we choose. But if we do so evil will return to us. As a result we will be worse than were before we became Christians. Jesus framed these words so as to include the entire Jewish nation when Jesus lived.
Those listeners to whom He was speaking were fitting representatives of most all people in Israel who rejected Jesus as their Messiah. The words of the Lord in Luke 11:26, “the last state of that man is worse than the first,” are quoted by Peter.
The apostle Peter applied these words to Christians in 2 Peter 2:20,
“For if, after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the latter end is worse for them than the beginning. For it would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered to them. But it has happened to them according to the proverb: A dog returns to his own vomit and a sow having washed to her wallowing in the mire.”
Can you imagine such words spoken to Christians who were once cleansed of an evil life, and then returned to their old evil way of life and enjoyed it? Peter referred to many who became immoral and false teachers and caused pollution in the church. This is exactly what happened to some who had been healed of demon possession, and Jesus says this same condition can occur in people who have never been demon possessed. When God cleanses our lives by the truth, and we continue to live an impenitent and unrighteous life, we are worse off than we were before we became Christians. Jesus applied this teaching to the entire nation of Israel, and it equally applies to you and me. Another step for dealing with emptiness is;
CONSULT A SPECIALIST
If your life seems empty and tasteless, don’t try to fill it with some substance or some exotic location. You can travel the world looking for meaning and when you return home and put your hand on the doorknob, the same old emptiness will be there. If you tried to do it without the Lord you’ll say- “been there, done that, now what?”
Mary not only acknowledges the crisis, and verbalizes the deductive conclusions of her rational comprehension, but she demonstrates to us; it’s not so important that we have problems, but what we do with the problems.
Mary recommends to us that when we have problems, we should CONSULT A SPECIALIST.
Too many turn to sister Cleo, and palm readers, fortunetellers and other forms of spiritual witchcraft. Mary says to us; when we are empty, it’s not Taurus the bull, or Pisces the Fish or the Gemini Twins that will help us, -we need someone who specializes in making a way out of no way. If your car were broken, you would seek a specialist. If your vision were failing you would consult a specialist. Mary takes her problem to Jesus.
We have to take our hurts and brokenness to someone that specializes in meeting human need.
As an old song says;
“Got any rivers you think are uncrossable. Got any mountains you can’t tunnel through?” God specializes in things thought impossible. And He can do what no other power can do."
Forgive me for waxing ancient here but there’s another old song I seldom hear these days. If I knew the author I’d gladly give credit;
Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus,
He is a friend that’s well known,
We’ve no other such a friend or brother,
Tell it to Jesus alone.
Blessings,
John
If you could do anything you wanted, go anywhere you chose, buy anything that appealed to you - would you be happy?
There was such a man. He was a powerful, wise, respected, wealthy man. He was able to do anything he wanted because he was the king, the absolute monarch of his nation. He had all the options imaginable in life because he was unbelievably wealthy.
He wrote three books. One when he was young and head- over- hills in love, -The Song of Solomon. Book number two was written when he was a little older, the greatest book on successful practical living ever written, The Book of Proverbs.
The last book he wrote is simply the testimony of a burned out life, despondent, weary and hopeless. The first paragraphs of Ecclesiastes are anything but inspiring.
Listen to verses one and two:
"The words of the teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem: 'Meaningless! Meaningless!' says the teacher. 'Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless."-
What a way to start a book. This book screams…“Been There, Done That, Now What?"
Of any place he wanted to go under the sun, Solomon could say, "Been there." Of any lifestyle or act of pleasure or fulfillment, Solomon could say, "Done that." Having been there and done that and finding it meaningless,he asked, "Now what?"
It’s not enough to say "Solomon, you ought to go to church." Solomon went to church. In fact, Solomon built the Temple. Further, Solomon preached and taught in the church. Verse one calls him, "the teacher." In other places he is called, "the preacher." He asked for and got wisdom which comes from God and he taught it in the Proverbs and preached it in the temple, but he lived by the wisdom which came from his own mind.
He indeed became rich, powerful, respected and EMPTY.
Let’s be real. Just as in the case of Solomon, our life can be empty. Perhaps in spite of all the glitter and glamour; deep beneath the surface lays an empty reservoir of lost dreams and hopes. Void and lack plague our lives and prohibit our pursuits of fulfillment and satisfaction.
All of us, in spite of our ages, wages, races and ethic identities, have to wrestle with the issue of emptiness. Empty marriages, careers, and even ministries sadly are the norms of our times. Life with all of its commotions and promotions still leave us empty. These are “The days of our lives.”
We pep and step, bling and ching, style and profile yet we are empty. “The butler, the baker, and even the candlestick maker, Lottie and Dottie and everybody” are wrestling with this thing called emptiness! All the subjects, servants and those who are served can’t escape cold harsh winter winds of emptiness. The question that confronts us all today is how do we deal with emptiness in our lives? How do we deal with failing and faulty finances, bankrupt relationships, broken homes and hopes that leave us stranded on an island of suffering and sorrow like Skipper and Gilligan-or Tom Hanks?
EMPTINESS MADE CHRIST’ FIRST MIRACLE NECESSARY.
God does big things in small places. The first miracle of Jesus took place in a place called, Cana of Galilee. Cana was an inconspicuous and obscure little town that lay outside of Nazareth. You talk about the “hinterlands” Cana had no social significance in its day!
However there happened to be a wedding in Cana and Mary the mother of Jesus, and Jesus and his disciples had all been invited to this wedding.
Cultural norms would have us to understand that this was a “peasant” wedding. Otherwise, Mary, of low estate would not have been there. Jesus’ ministry began in a small, and unimportant town.
Weddings then were a lot like weddings now; they were a big deal. The bride from babyhood had been prepared for this moment. For girls in Jewish culture, from the moment they were born, they were never allowed to be alone with any male other than their father and brothers. The lack of virginity could be a disgrace and financial liability to her family. The wedding ceremony would take place late in the evening after a time of feasting. Note that late in the evening means the wedding took place at the dawn of the Jewish day. The father of the bride would take his daughter on his arm, and with the wedding party and parade through the streets of town so that everyone could come out and congratulate the bride.
Finally the wedding party would arrive at the home of the groom. The wedding actually took place in the front door of the groom’s house. After the ceremony the bride and groom walked through the streets accompanied by flaming torches. This trip could take hours, many guest would wait along the road and join the wedding party as the procession passed. Attendants would walk with them keeping a canopy over their heads.
Once the couple arrived back at the house of the groom, the groom would carry the bride over the threshold and then stand at the door as the processional party entered the house. All that were to be a part of the festivities had to enter the house before the door was shut. The couple kept open house for a week. They were treated like royalty. They dressed in fancy clothes and many times actually wore crowns on their heads. Whatever they desired was granted. Jesus and his disciples showed up at this wedding by invitation.
Whenever Jesus shows up it is always the breaking of a new day.
CHECK THE GUEST LIST OF YOUR LIFE
If things are to start off right in our lives, or progressively get better Jesus must be invited. In those areas where we find emptiness in our lives we should check the guest list and see if Jesus is there.
It’s Jesus that transforms houses into homes, weddings into marriages, males to men, and females to women. Without Jesus our bright day is dark, our happiest moment is shallow, our lives are mere shells of what they could be. We need to check the guest list and see if we have invited Jesus in those empty and lonely areas.
Many have invited some Hollywood star, or musician to occupy an important place in their life. With others it may be some political cause. You and I need to check the guest list and evaluate who has access in our lives. We need to issue summons of restrictions for some people and things and extend a VIP invitation for JESUS. He wants to come into your situation, but He will not break in. He stands at the door of our hearts and seeks access.
Often we invite everything but the right things into our lives. I challenge you to check the guest list of your life and make sure Jesus is there. This story emphasizes that the disciples were the disciples of Jesus. They were there because of their affiliation and occupation with Jesus.
People miss the celebrations of life because of their lack of connectivity to Jesus. There is coming according to the book of Revelation another wedding celebration and only Jesus and his disciples/children will be there. Have we dedicated ourselves to the discipline of becoming His disciples?
When Jesus is in the house, he brings generous abundant blessing. He brings forgiveness, he brings the gift of the Holy Spirit, he brings purpose and direction for our lives, he brings the best. Jesus said - I have come that they might have abundant life. What a difference it makes when Jesus comes.
Not only should we check the guest list and ensure we have given access to Jesus, but we must ;
RECOGNIZE OUR NEED AND BRING IT TO JESUS
Mary, says to Jesus -they have no wine, -translation, we’re empty, we’re all out.
The Jews didn’t get drunk at these celebrations. Drunkenness was considered a social disgrace and spiritual defilement. But the host could have actually been sued for a breach of hospitality to his guest if there was no libation. This was no minor issue. Mary understood the urgency of the moment and so she comes to Jesus and says, “Son, we’ve got a problem here, and we need your help. The groom’s family is running out of wine.”
There are differences of opinion as the whether the wine Jesus made was fermented or just grape juice. I’ll let you make up your own mind about that. All I’ll say is- I’ll gladly have a glass of anything Jesus makes.
MARY HAS A LITTLE TALK WITH JESUS
Mary is obeying a Biblical principle here. We’re told;
…. in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.- Philippians 4:6
Mary coming to Jesus with such a problem is a portrait of what we need to do when we are running out of spiritual strength and life is getting on our “last nerve.” This is how to respond to empty situations. Mary goes to Jesus and tells him all about it. When we’re empty we shouldn’t hesitate, or cover up. Follow Mary’s example and come clean about the situation.
Mary shows us that if we are serious about our search for solutions to the problem of emptiness we must be real about our situation. This is a prerequisite to the manifestation of God’s power; he requires that before He will show up; we must be willing to call out to Him.
There’s something here that at first blush seems a bit puzzling; Jesus seems to tell his mother off: ‘Woman, what concern is that to you and to me?’ The NIV puts it: ‘Dear woman, why do you involve me?’ ‘My time or hour has not yet come.’ It helps us if we remember that in different cultures people have different customs and speak in different ways.
In the culture that Jesus lived, it was in no way rude to address a person as woman, although we would think it rather rude. That’s why NIV makes it ‘Dear woman’. Jesus was not rude to his mother, but rather what he was saying to her was ‘My main purpose in life from now on is not solving all the practical problems of my family and friends. God has given me another task to do, and the time for that has not yet come.’
Jesus basically came to do two things; to teach and preach to the “house of Israel” then to address himself to the mission of dying for the sins of the whole world. Remember, he lectured the Syro-Phoenician woman about this. Then he went ahead and granted her request anyway. His mercy constrained Him to reach through dispensational walls if necessary to help people.
Though we realize that Jesus is concerned with greater issues than just our minute problems and difficulties, that’s no reason to stop bringing to Him our requests and concerns and putting our trust in him. Mary heard what he said but she still persisted in her faith and trust, knowing Jesus was going to make something good happen. She says to the servants, ‘do whatever he tells you.’ That is always very good advice for anyone,
DO WHAT JESUS TELLS YOU TO DO
There were six large water pots available that had been used for Jewish Rites of purification, but Jesus pressed them into a different use.
Jesus took 180 gallons of Jewish laws, the rituals of purification, and transformed them into 180 gallons of grace. Jesus took 180 gallons of guilt, 180 gallons of laws, laws and more laws, 180 gallons of “don’t do this and don’t do that,” 180 gallons of laws that numbered more than 600 regulations. Jesus then transformed these religious regulations into a new religion, a new wine that would burst old wine skins. Jesus transformed the old religion into the new religion.
There is enough grace here for a whole city, enough grace for a whole state, enough grace for the whole wide world. From God’s fullness of grace, right up to the brim, we all have received grace upon grace upon grace. I love that line in the text where the vats are filled up right to the brim, right up to the top of the lip of the vessel.
THE DANGER OF EMPTINESS –SEVEN MORE DEVILS
Let’s look at another example of emptiness.
Jesus said,
“When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he goes through dry places, seeking rest; and finding none, he says, I will return to the house from which I came. And when he comes, he finds it swept and put in order. Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there, and the last state of that man is worse than the first.”
This is the story of a demoniac who suffered a relapse. The man was demon possessed, and by the power of God the demon was cast out of his body. A demon is a fallen angel. But after the demon was cast out of him, the man did not repent of his sins, improve his life or make any changes in his life. Again, an empty life is a recipe for disaster.
When the demon came back and found the man's heart and life empty he entered the man's body again and brought seven more demons with him more wicked than himself. Jesus said the last state of that man was worse than the first. The chief lesson in this passage is the danger of emptiness of good in a person's life after God has cast evil out of his life.
There are two profound truths in this passage. One is that unless our minds are possessed of good, they will be possessed of evil. The other valuable truth is that evil once removed from our lives can return to our lives, and as a result, we will be far worse than ever were before. This story is about far more than a demon possessed man, for Jesus said the same thing that happened to this man could happen to most of the nation of Israel. In Matthew's account of this story Jesus said,
“So it will also be with this wicked generation”(Matthew 12: 45
When a demon returns to a life after being put out and he finds man's heart bad and empty of good, he’s even better suited for that man than before. He had not repented of his sinful life, and therefore was a very fit dwelling place for a demon. Some people today, after God has forgiven them of their sin, refuse to correct their lives and grow in grace, fall into a worse condition than before they became Christians.
Judas Iscariot is a perfect example of that. Jesus spoke of people whose last state became worse than their first state. As the demon possessed man had a relapse, many Christians have had relapses into sinful living.Then Jesus made an application of this teaching to the entire Jewish nation by saying, “Even so shall it be also to this evil generation.”(Matthew 12:45).
The last years of Jerusalem before the Romans destroyed it were years of wickedness. Their condition was evil when Christ walked among them, but by 70 A.D. they were in worse condition than when Jesus walked their streets. What Jesus is saying here is that the nation would be worse off for having known Him and rejecting His teachings. His teachings could have changed their lives and made them righteous and holy in God's sight.
What all this amounts to is a serious warning about negative improvement only. To receive forgiveness for sins of the past life, but make no positive course correction and improvement in our lives puts us in a most dangerous condition. This is quite common in Christianity. People get rid of their sins, but then make little or no improvement in their character. At conversion the character of Christ is not transferred to us in some mysterious way as a gift.
The only righteous people are those who practice righteousness. We must correct the mistakes of the past; and we must develop a Christian character. God won’t do that for us. We must do the repenting and the changing. We must overcome evil in our lives; and Christ will not do that for us. He cleanses our heart from evil at the new birth, but we can leave our hearts empty; if we choose. But if we do so evil will return to us. As a result we will be worse than were before we became Christians. Jesus framed these words so as to include the entire Jewish nation when Jesus lived.
Those listeners to whom He was speaking were fitting representatives of most all people in Israel who rejected Jesus as their Messiah. The words of the Lord in Luke 11:26, “the last state of that man is worse than the first,” are quoted by Peter.
The apostle Peter applied these words to Christians in 2 Peter 2:20,
“For if, after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the latter end is worse for them than the beginning. For it would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered to them. But it has happened to them according to the proverb: A dog returns to his own vomit and a sow having washed to her wallowing in the mire.”
Can you imagine such words spoken to Christians who were once cleansed of an evil life, and then returned to their old evil way of life and enjoyed it? Peter referred to many who became immoral and false teachers and caused pollution in the church. This is exactly what happened to some who had been healed of demon possession, and Jesus says this same condition can occur in people who have never been demon possessed. When God cleanses our lives by the truth, and we continue to live an impenitent and unrighteous life, we are worse off than we were before we became Christians. Jesus applied this teaching to the entire nation of Israel, and it equally applies to you and me. Another step for dealing with emptiness is;
CONSULT A SPECIALIST
If your life seems empty and tasteless, don’t try to fill it with some substance or some exotic location. You can travel the world looking for meaning and when you return home and put your hand on the doorknob, the same old emptiness will be there. If you tried to do it without the Lord you’ll say- “been there, done that, now what?”
Mary not only acknowledges the crisis, and verbalizes the deductive conclusions of her rational comprehension, but she demonstrates to us; it’s not so important that we have problems, but what we do with the problems.
Mary recommends to us that when we have problems, we should CONSULT A SPECIALIST.
Too many turn to sister Cleo, and palm readers, fortunetellers and other forms of spiritual witchcraft. Mary says to us; when we are empty, it’s not Taurus the bull, or Pisces the Fish or the Gemini Twins that will help us, -we need someone who specializes in making a way out of no way. If your car were broken, you would seek a specialist. If your vision were failing you would consult a specialist. Mary takes her problem to Jesus.
We have to take our hurts and brokenness to someone that specializes in meeting human need.
As an old song says;
“Got any rivers you think are uncrossable. Got any mountains you can’t tunnel through?” God specializes in things thought impossible. And He can do what no other power can do."
Forgive me for waxing ancient here but there’s another old song I seldom hear these days. If I knew the author I’d gladly give credit;
Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus,
He is a friend that’s well known,
We’ve no other such a friend or brother,
Tell it to Jesus alone.
Blessings,
John
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