By John Stallings
The first grey streaks of dawn appeared and the young fugitive knew he must move on.
He traveled light because he was on the run. As he swung his backpack on, his mind wondered back over the last months. It felt as if he’d been on the road all his life. He knew every back trail, every village, every cave, every gully, and every place a man could hide for a few hours. Such was his life lately. Such had been and would be his life for most of his twenties.
As any man whose home is the road knows there were good days are bad days. Today he didn’t have to concern himself with eating breakfast because there was nothing to eat. As dawn appeared- down the dusty winding road he went; a road that seemed to lead nowhere in particular.
The tattered traveler came to the top of a hill & surveyed the valley below. There sat a small village, rather non-descript; just a few buildings with a large tent in the middle. Hopefully our fugitive might find some food for his empty stomach in this little backwater town.
NOB
The village he is viewing is called Nob. Eighty-five priests of God live here & it’s also home to High Priest Ahimelech and home to the Tabernacle.
The fugitive has run out of options. He didn’t really want to come to this place but as detectives say, “he had a tail.” A mad man was tracking him and he had no choice but to stop in this village & try to get help. He has the “street- cred” to know “you play the hand you’re dealt.”
Though the fugitive basically had a good character, in his present state of affairs he’d lie or do just about anything to stay alive.
This story begins in 1 Samuel 21.
DAVID VERSUS SAUL
The fugitive is young David and he’s being hotly pursued by King Saul. It should not be forgotten that this traveler had been anointed by the prophet Samuel years earlier as the future king of Israel. Now his only royal distinction was—king of the road.
There are few men in the Bible that attract our attention as much as David. He’s mentioned more than any other man in the Bible except Jesus. From the time Goliath’s body hits the ground until he was anointed king, in spite of the mistakes he made and repented in bitter tears, we come to understand why David is the only man in the Word of God who’s called: “A man after God’s own heart.”
It’s important as we look at this story to remember that it’s not irrelevant to our lives. This is a cautionary tale God had recorded for a reason -as we’ll see.
What makes this particular story stab the heart is the fact that David had never done anything to Saul but show him compassion and respect. Saul had gotten his nose out of joint out of jealousy of young David who was Israel’s ‘boy wonder,” and greatly loved by everyone. But as we know, life isn’t always fair; it certainly wasn’t in this instance.
After a meeting with Jonathan, David went straight into the wilderness to begin his years on the LAM. He’s smart enough to know how to pull some strings, or call in a few favors so his first stop will be Nob, to Ahimelech the priest. David and Ahimelech go way back. When Ahimelech answered his door-bell and saw David, he trembled & asked, “Why are you alone? Why is no one with you?”
SITUATIONAL ETHICS
When David entered the desert he had some very real needs. He has no weaponry, no food, no water “no nothing.” Those needs will have to be met if he’s to stay alive. The important thing is, how will David choose to meet those needs? Answer: David resorts to situational ethics meaning--the end justifies the means.
We see it all the time in our day. We see it in our government, in our churches, even our own lives; doing things that hurt other people in the name of expediency.
Now David is going to tell a whopper of a lie. He says to Ahimelech, “The king [Saul] charged me with a certain matter & said to me, -- no one is to know anything about your mission & your instructions.”— David didn’t place all his cards on the table. Or put it another way-David lied.
David was running from Saul, not conducting a secret mission for him. He must have sounded convincing because Ahimelech bought it without question. But it was still a lie. David lied because he was between a rock and a hard place. Saul was trying to kill him. After so long on the road a man gets desperate and he says whatever he has to say to stay alive. David never meant to hurt anyone with his fabrication. Oh- but he did.
“OH WHAT TANGLED WEBS WE WEAVE …..”
David is telling lies that are so preposterous the truth would have sounded better. A small boy was asked to describe what a lie was and he said; “A lie is an abomination unto the Lord, but an ever present help in time of need.” I’m not sure which translations the kid was reading.
THE PLOT THICKENS
Someone else was in Nob that day. A certain someone knows who David is and knows David is telling a lie. His name was Doeg the Edo mite. He was Saul’s head shepherd, - one of Saul’s hired guns. He saw David and David saw him. And Doeg saw Ahimelech give several loaves of consecrated tabernacle bread or- “bread of the presence” to David.
Why did God allow David to see Doeg that day? He knows Doeg will “high-tail” it to Saul and tell him he saw David. Doeg is nothing short of a mercenary and won’t fail to use this information to ingratiate himself with the king. David also knows what that will mean to his old friend Ahimelech. IMHO God allowed this sighting of Doeg to give David another chance to come to his senses and do the right thing here. But alas, David doesn’t do the right thing; he does the quickest thing which is almost always wrong. David cares about no one but himself right now and is probably whistling-“Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen, glory- hallelujah.”
Just before David leaves town he says to Abimelech, “Oh, by the way, you don’t happen to have a sword handy do you? I left mine back at home”? Now David makes an attempt at putting himself into “Oscar’s best actor” contention “by adding, -“……Because the King’s business is urgent.” It turns out that among David’s other talents; he’s also a “drama-king.” He’s acting his brains out. When we tell one lie we usually have to tell another one to prop it up.
Ahimelech replied, “The sword of Goliath whom you killed as a boy in the Valley of Elah is here; it’s wrapped in a cloth behind the ephod. If you want it, take it; there is no sword but that one.” David said, “There is none like it; give it to me.” [1 Samuel 21:9]
David, what’s gotten into you? First you lie then you lie again. Now you’ve taken the sword of Goliath, the giant you defeated-- to fight your battles. David, have you lost your mind? Where is God in all this? When you were just a shepherd boy you faced Goliath & all you needed was one stone from your sling. Now are you going to use the weapon of the man you killed with a rock?
David was wrong when he took the consecrated bread and now he’s wrong again by taking the sword that had been consecrated to the Lord because it stood for Israel’s victory over the Philistines.
Yes, in a sense, David has lost his mind. Another old saying goes, -- “Honesty is the best policy but insanity is the best defense.” If you cut a man off from his friends and family and put him in the wilderness, it does strange things to him. The constant pressure pulls at him until it wears him down. Things he swore he’d never do now don’t seem so bad.
Up to this point in his life David had done everything right. He has been the absolute model of faith, obedience, courage, integrity and devotion to God and to his king. But he is still a very young man who is living a long way from his family and home because he’s a fugitive on the run from King Saul. David needed some stability in his life but for the time being that had gone.
DAVID HAD BECOME USED TO POSITION & POPULARITY
A humble shepherd boy had been promoted to a captain over a thousand in Saul’s army and he had all the popularity that came with that. David had leaned on the support of people but now in this trying hour that support had been dismantled.
David had the support of his wife Michal. He also had the support of Saul’s son Jonathan who loved him more than his own father. Then David had the support of the prophet Samuel who’d taught him about sacrifice, service & worship. Samuel was a significant support to David during his early years.
It’s wonderful to have supports, props & crutches in our lives to help us make it. Praise God if He’s been gracious to you and given you an adequate support network in your life.
BUT DAVID’S SUPPORT SYSTEM HAS BEEN DISMANTLED.
Think of it. Think of all David had lost and how far he’d slipped to now be a desert dweller, begging for sustenance. David had been the greatest battlefield hero his nation had ever known and now he was a fugitive from justice.
David had also lost his popularity, his people and his pride and was now relegated to a distant memory. He’d been removed from the public eye. People assumed Saul would be successful in his attempts to take David’s life. Every person upon whom David had leaned in his life was taken away.
The lowest place a man can come to is the place where he loses his pride. Now all that David had to cling to have been stripped away.
His lies were acts of fear but taking Goliath’s sword was an act of desperation. First there’s fear, then there is a lie, then desperation, but the worst is yet to come.
Fear drove David to lie to Ahimelech. Fear drove him to take Goliath’s sword. Now fear drives him to do the strangest thing he has ever done.
NEXT DAVID GOES TO GATH
Gath? Haven’t we heard that name somewhere? Yes, we have. Gath is in Philistine territory. That means it’s not in Israel; it’s foreign to David. But wait; Gath is also the hometown of Goliath, enemy territory. Why would David do something like this?
It’s hard to know but we can imagine he was thinking, --no one would ever look for him there. -- So now David’s in Gath with Goliath’s people. The man of God is hiding in the enemy’s camp. It was an outright act of spiritual treason. God’s people were to have nothing to do with the Philistines. They were to be separated from the surrounding nations. But David looked around and said, “This looks like the quickest way out.”
The greatest temptation when we’re in trouble is to take the quickest way out. You and I can write this next principle down; -- when in trouble, the quickest way out is almost always wrong.” When we go over to the world’s side and compromise our convictions, disaster is soon to follow.
DAVID HAS A MELT-DOWN
Once David realizes he’s been seen and recognized, he plunges headlong into an act of madness. He feared what might happen to him so he –“pretended to be insane in their presence; and while he was in their hands he acted like a madman, making marks on the doors of the gate and letting saliva run down his beard. 1 Sam. 21:13
Have you ever seen someone put on a crazy act, but then you realized if they were sick enough to be that convincing, they in actuality had a “screw loose.” IMHO, you can’t play-act like someone who’s “lost it” without having some level of emotional disturbance, at least for the moment. Can we say Mel Gibson? Keep in mind this is the man who won the greatest military victory in Israel’s’ history, the victory over Goliath and the Philistines, Israel’s arch enemy.
David’s compromise [ostensibly play acting] didn’t work. All it got him was thrown out of Gath. Now he’s back on his own and back on the run. First there is fear, then the lie, then desperation, then compromise and now humiliation.
DAVID WILL SOON BECOME THE CAPTIAN OF CROOKS AND THE DUKE OF DEADBEATS.
Still on the run, David comes to a place called the Cave of Adullam. Chapter 22:1 tells us that his family went to meet him there. Now he’s back in Israel. David has basically reached bottom and is on his way back. Then we’re told that “all those who were in distress or in debt or discontented gathered around him and he became their leader.”
About four hundred men were now with David; the exiled king and his rag-tag army. Every crook and troublemaker came out to join him. David was now the captain of crooks & the duke of deadbeats. As David grew spiritually, these men began to grow & they would one day become his mighty men. In later years his greatest warriors would come from this motley crew.
DAVID FINALLY STARTS TO WALK WITH GOD AGAIN.
Living in a cave changes David and as he changes, his men change. Some parents tell their children --“Don’t do as I do-- do as I say do.” But you and I know that’s never what actually happens. The reality is, in the end our children will do what we do. All David has to do to change these 400 hoodlums huddling in this cave with him is to start doing right & they’ll follow suit. It’s here that David again becomes a force to be reckoned with.
The story should be over but it isn’t, not yet. There are a few loose ends dangling that need to be tied up. Whatever happened to Doeg the Edomite & Ahimelech?
Let’s return to the village of Nob for a moment. Things are quiet, -too quiet. There’s not a sound in that little village of priests. There never was much noise but now all you hear is the wind whistling through the bushes. It’s deathly quiet. Tumbleweeds are rolling around and overhead the vultures are circling. In the hot sun dismembered bodies lie on the ground. They’ve been hacked to death in some kind of execution. Eighty-five priests are dead along with their families. A whole village has been wiped out.
WHAT HAPPENED HERE? WHO DID THIS?
Doeg the Edomite told Saul that he had seen Ahimelech give the sacred bread to David. Keep in mind; Ahimelech believed David’s lie that he was on a mission for King Saul. He’d acted out of patriotism but Saul called him out and accused him of treason for aiding and abetting David, a fugitive. Ahimelech had no way of knowing David had told him a lie but he will now pay with his life. When Saul ordered the priests killed, his own soldiers wouldn’t do it because the priests were servants of the Lord.
But Doeg was an Edomite, a foreigner and a lackey for Saul and priests meant nothing to him. So the whole village was wiped out. Only one man lived to tell the story and his name was Abiather. Somehow he found David and told him what happened at Nob. David’s reaction in 1 Sam. 22:22 is, ---That day when Doeg the Edomite was there I knew he would be sure to tell Saul. I am responsible for the death of your father’s whole family.
David thought he could get away with the lies and the charade but he couldn’t and didn’t. He knew Doeg was there and he knew he’d tell Saul but he was so wrapped up in himself and his own problems that he acted out of self-interest and didn’t level with Ahimeleck.
Who killed the priests of Nob? Who is really responsible for the tragedy? Not Doeg, not Saul- but David. David’s hands were dripping with the blood of the innocent people of Nob.
LOOK AT THE MALIGNANT GROWTH OF SIN
First there is selfishness, then fear, then desperation, then compromise, then humiliation and finally disaster. The saddest part of the story is that David never intended for things to end up like this. Not in a million years. He lied to get food and it seemed justifiable at the time. Most of us would have done the same thing.
If David had stopped to think, if he’d even dreamed of such a thing he’d never have told the lie. But he didn’t think. He didn’t dream, he just lied.
NO ONE EVER GETS AWAY WITH SIN
Numbers 32: 23 says, -- Be sure your sin will find you out. Galatians 6:7 says…….a man reaps what he sows. The chickens always come home to roost and the skeletons always eventually come out of the closet.
This story is so powerful because many of us are like David. We cut corners morally and ethically, we make excuses for our small sins and under pressure we do things we shouldn’t do. All the while we’re like fugitives, running, hiding always looking over our shoulder, hoping against hope we won’t get caught today.
GOD’S SEVERE MERCY
But even though David committed such horrendous sins he’s still God’s man and God is going to use him. This brings up the question; couldn’t God have supplied David’s need for food so that he didn’t have to bother Ahimelech in the first place? The answer is yes.
Why did God allow David to disobey knowing that a whole village would be wiped out in the process? It’s not possible for us to fully understand God’s ways but this much we know; God allowed this so that David would humble himself and realize that left to himself he’d ruin his own life. Sadly this is a case of severe mercy because a city was destroyed in order for the lesson to be learned.
As we’ve already said, we can lean on many things in this world. Some people lean on a pill, some on a needle & some on a bottle. What are you leaning on today?
Are you leaning on a spiritual spouse who prays for you? Are you leaning on people or things more than you trust in the Lord?
Is your support system keeping you from looking to God for the real support you need? Every plank in my support system can fail but God will never fail me.
God is famous for dismantling men’s support systems and the process is painful, but it helps us to learn to lean on Him-- and Him alone.
When at last David got back to his own country on his own turf, resting safely in the cave of Adullum, reflecting on the events in Gath, he wrote Psalm 34. If you check, you’ll see the inscription at the top of the chapter--“When David feigned madness before Ahimelech.”
There in the cave of Adullam, gradually God restored David to his spiritual roots. In Adullam David wrote Psalm 34, one of the classic descriptions of true spirituality;
I will bless the Lord at all times;
His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
My soul shall make its boast in the Lord;
The humble shall hear it & rejoice.
O magnify the Lord with me,
And let us exalt His name together.
Then David refers to the specific events of his deliverance;
I sought the Lord & He answered me,
And delivered me from all my fears.
They looked to Him & were radiant,
And their faces shall never be ashamed.
THIS POOR MAN cried & the Lord heard him,
And saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him,
And rescues them.
This brings me to the final point in this story: When we sin, someone is going to have to pay the price. In this case an entire village of innocent people paid the price.
The one overarching quality David possessed that made him a –Man after God’s own heart- was his willingness to repent. Saul on the other hand didn’t seem to ever be able to do it. The javelin he threw at David started the manhunt that lasted nearly ten years. But in a sense, that javelin never stopped traveling & years later it found Saul & pierced his heart on Mount Gilboa.
The good news of the gospel is that God specializes in forgiving sinners.
Whenever we’re ready to turn for home, the Heavenly Father will meet us on the way.
Blessings,
John
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Passing The Buck
By John Stallings
A baseball team was having problems with their center-fielder.
Smith played the position but it seemed every fly-ball that came his way he’d get his glove on it but couldn’t catch it. During one game this was happening repeatedly.
Finally the coach took Smith out and put in a very good center-fielder named Jones. Jones ran out into center field with his game face on and a great show of confidence as if to say, there’ll be no more errors today. Low and behold, every fly ball that came toward Jones was dropped- to his utter embarrassment.
After a few more misses by Jones the coach had to remove him because he wasn’t doing any better than Smith. So out to center field runs the newbie, a man named Clark. Now things would pick up. To the utter astonishment of the fans, every single fly ball that went out to Clark went right through his glove just as it had Jones and Smiths.’ The coach went out to talk to Clark saying that if he didn’t stop making errors, he’d have to replace him as he did the others.
The very next fly ball that came to Clark was dropped. He stormed off the field in total disgust and was heard to say as he walked along the sidelines, “those guys have got center field so messed up nobody could play it now.”
I did a little research on the meaning and origins of the term “buck-passing.” As I understand it the odd expression appears to have come from the old days during card games where passing the buck was actually buckshot. A token was used in a game to show who was next to deal---a bit of buckshot. In order to designate who had responsibility for dealing next, you would literally pass the buckshot. This was later shortened to buck. Over time, the phrase “passing the buck” came to mean that you pass responsibility onto someone or something else.
How often in an average day do we hear, “You did it” “you caused it”- "Don’t look at me’-“you’re to blame” “I did nothing wrong”- “I’m innocent.” We do this almost as a natural reflex. Blame is so easy to dish out, isn’t it?
In the last few weeks of watching the news I’ve heard the term used dozens of times by politicians, most recently by the president. Speaking of presidents; you’ve most likely heard that President Harry Truman was famous for keeping a small plague on his desk reading “The Buck Stops Here.”
In the few months of the oil gush, we’ve seen and heard the buck passed numbers of times. There are more versions of “The dog ate my homework” than I ever knew existed. President Reagan kept a plaque on his desk saying, “There is no limit to what you can accomplish if you don’t care who gets the credit.” It seems to me our present leaders could have one that read, “There’s no limit to the credit you can get if you don’t care who did the accomplishing.”
We see buck-passing in smokers with self-imposed addictions attempting to get millions from tobacco companies by shifting the blame for their habit, obviously unable to read the ominous warnings from The Surgeon General on each pack.
We see it in public officials every time they pass the blame for some failure to their predecessors.
THE BLAME GAME
Passing the buck happens when you blame other people for your problems. It’s a way of explaining why life hasn’t worked out the way you would like. You’ve been treated unfairly; you’ve ended up on the short end of the stick; you’ve been dealt a lousy hand of cards. You’re a victim. And that’s how you get through life—by blaming other people for the bad things that happen to you.
If you’re late turning in a report at work, that’s easy. You just say, “I would have turned it in earlier but Frank was late getting the statistics to me.”
If you lose your job, it’s because the boss was unreasonable, he didn’t understand you, he had it in for you, and he hated you from the moment you walked into the office.
—If you didn’t keep a promise, it’s because you were too busy doing other things.
—If you failed to do your homework, it’s because your roommate borrowed the textbook and wouldn’t give it back.
—If you lost your temper, it’s because “they” provoked you.
- If a relationship ended, it couldn’t have been your fault. Of course not. You are a nice person.
The other person was a creep. That’s all there is to it.
Sound familiar? It ought to. Most of us know all too well about being a victim. Years ago we learned the victim’s battle cry—"It’s not my fault.” We’re not always sure whose fault it is, but we know it’s not our fault.
Who me? Couldn’t be. Impossible. Unthinkable.
But if it’s not us, it must be somebody else. Maybe it’s Jones or Smith. Our parents, possibly. It’s popular to blame parents nowadays for every kind of psychological illness. If it’s not our parents, then it’s probably our brothers or sisters. They never treated us right. We were always overlooked. But if not our parents, the world is still full of candidates.
It could be our grandparents who messed us up. Or maybe it was the friends we ran around with in high school. Maybe we ran with the wrong crowd and they corrupted us, or maybe we ran with the good crowd and we ended up too good for our own good. Of course, you can always blame your husband. After all, he’s probably just a bone-head. Or you can blame your wife. She’s far from perfect. Or maybe it’s the people where you work.
ADAM AND EVE – CLASSIC BUCK-PASSERS
There’s a reason why we’re so good at the blame game. We make excuses because excuse-making is in our family tree. It’s in our spiritual bloodstream. When we pass the buck, we’re only doing what our ancestors did.
Let’s roll the tape backwards to the Garden of Eden. Let’s focus our lens right after Adam and Eve have eaten the forbidden fruit. To the untrained eye, it still looks like paradise. Adam has just eaten the fruit and a silly, guilty grin slides across his face. He knows he’s done something wrong, but he has no idea what is about to happen next.
It happens so fast. He looks at Eve and notices something he never saw before. She doesn’t have any clothes on. That’s a shock to him. Then he looks down. He’s naked too. The thought crosses his mind, “We better cover ourselves up.”
But where did that thought come from? It came from a mind that has just had its first encounter with sin. Adam and Eve never wore clothes before because they never knew they were naked. The shame of nakedness is the first result of the fall.
Sin first brings shame. And with shame comes the disgrace of being uncovered. Then a strange sound of footsteps. Who could it be? It’s the Lord walking in the garden in the cool of the day.
Instinctively [and I used that word carefully] Adam and Eve hide themselves. Why? Who told them to hide? No one had to tell them anything. Their guilty consciences condemned them. Disobedience is now bearing its bitter fruit. Where once they enjoyed unbroken fellowship with God, - now sin has separated them from their Creator. Hiding from God is the second result of the fall.
But now the truth is about to come out. When God calls out for Adam, the man answers, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.” There was no shame in nakedness as long as there was nothing to hide, but once sin entered the picture, Adam could not face God uncovered.
Then the question, “Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat of?” And the answer, -“The woman that you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”
That’s a classic piece of buck-passing. Blame it on the woman and if that doesn’t work, blame it on God. Minimize your guilt by making the others look bad.
But the story still isn’t over. God turns to Eve and asks her, “What is this you have done?” Listen to her answer: “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
Do you know what’s so tricky about those two answers? Technically, Adam and Eve both told the truth. Adam told the truth when he said Eve gave him the fruit. Eve told the truth when she said the serpent deceived her. But both of them were making excuses as a means of avoiding personal responsibility. As long as Adam could blame Eve, he didn’t look so bad. And as long as Eve could blame the serpent, she looks like an innocent victim.
That explains many things. First, it tells us that the tendency to blame others is deeply ingrained in human nature. Second, it tells us that left to ourselves; we will do anything to avoid taking personal responsibility for our actions. Third, it tells us that blaming others is often nothing more than a subtle twisting of the truth in order to take the heat off of ourselves. Fourth, it tells us that without a deep working of the grace of God within us, we will do exactly what Adam and
Eve did.
CHEATING HEARTS
Jeremiah wrote in 17:9, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and beyond cure. Who can understand it.”
We are by nature so deceitful that we will do anything say anything to avoid admitting the truth about ourselves. And we will do anything to avoid taking personal responsibility for our actions.
We live in a society which teaches us to blame other people for our problems. And we go along with it because blaming others is in our spiritual bloodstream. Passing the buck is part of our inherited sin nature. Adam was the first buck-passer; Eve was the second. But they weren’t the last. After thousands of years, we’ve learned our lessons well.
THE MAN AT THE POOL OF BETHESDA
There’s a wonderful story in John 5 that brings this issue to the surface. Jesus had come to Jerusalem during one of the yearly feasts. Thousands of pilgrims were there from throughout Israel. While he was there, he paid a visit to a place called Bethesda, “the house of mercy.” It was a pool near the Sheep Gate in the northeastern section of the city. Five porches were built by the pool. It was the Jewish Lourdes of that day. The Jews believed that an angel would come and periodically stir the waters. The first person to enter the water after it had been stirred would be healed of his diseases.
So hundreds of sick and infirm people gathered around the pool, waiting and hoping for the water to be stirred. On the day that Jesus passed by, he met a man who had been an invalid for 38 years. When He found out how long the man had been paralyzed, He asked only one question, “Do you want to be well?”
On the surface it seems to be a bizarre question. Why else would the man be there? Of course he wanted to be well. Was Jesus insulting his intelligence? No, not at all. He was asking a very serious question. He was asking because it was entirely possible that the man did not want to get well.
The man answers this way: “Do I want to be healed? That’s a crazy question. Why do you think I’m here? You must be new here. You don’t understand the problem. Every time the water is stirred, somebody else beats me to the water. No one will ever help me. They just push me out of the way.” Have you ever heard a sadder story? Ain’t it a shame?”
I think Jesus is probing at the level of the will. He’s saying, “Stop blaming others for your problems. I have the power to make you well. But I won’t exercise my power until you decide you want to be well. If I make you well, you can’t sit here and gossip all day. If I make you well, you can’t be a beggar anymore. If I make you well, you can’t use your illness to get special treatment at home. If I make you well, you won’t get all that sympathy anymore. There’s a price to be paid for being well. Do you want to pay it?”
Jesus is saying, “Do you really want to be changed?” If the answer is yes, then miracles can take place. If the answer is no, then even Jesus cannot help you.
As I wrote in a recent blog, change is scary. It takes a lot of faith to truly want Jesus to change you. Sometimes it’s easier to stay the way you are.
The Son of God won’t barge into your life unless you invite him in. He will not change you unless you want to be changed.
THE “POOR ME” ATTITUDE
The man at the pool was indulging in self-pity.
How do you spot a person with a “poor me” attitude? There are several signs:
•They endlessly repeat how others have mistreated them.
•They view the world as hostile and unfair to them.
•They are “beachcombers of misery” who see each grievance as a treasure to add to their collection.
•They have a hidden need to feel bad. Many have enjoyed bad health for years.
•They live by the childish notion that life should always be fair to them.
•They find it very difficult to forgive others because forgiveness is a sign of weakness.
•They have a competitive view of life in which others are always winning at their expense.
•They have difficulty maintaining close friendships because they eventually turn on their close friends.
•They see themselves as permanent victims.
•They tend to be pessimists, always anticipating the worst possible outcome in every situation. Their pessimism becomes a form of self-fulfilling prophecy.
•They destroy their closest relationships because they have difficulty trusting other people.
It’s hard to break the poor-me attitude because people derive a kind of perverse satisfaction from it. However- the cost is high for the “poor me” folk.
They pay for that pleasure by forfeiting the hope of happiness. Only when we ask whether the price tag is too steep does change become possible.
Have you given up the hope of happiness? Perhaps you feel like the man lying beside the pool for 38 years. “There’s no hope for me. Things will never change. Somebody else will always get there first.”
If you feel that way, then let me ask the question Jesus asked: Do you want to be healed? That’s the first step in a new life. Do you want Jesus Christ to come into your life and change you?
Only God Gives Us Hope
Some people have felt like losers for years and years. When they tally up the score, they always seem to be losing by four touchdowns.
Here is the gospel: In Jesus Christ you are already a winner! That’s what grace is all about. He takes perpetual losers and he transforms them into eternal winners. He takes people who have no hope and he gives them a hope and a future. He takes people who are down on their luck and makes them recipients of sovereign grace.
Here is the proof that you are at last beginning to grow in your spiritual life:
—You no longer need to defend yourself.
—You no longer have to blame others for your problems.
—You don’t have to win every time.
Are you tempted to blame others for your problems? Are you tempted to take the dirt of your failures and throw it on them? Don’t do it. All you’ll do is make them dirty. You won’t make yourself clean. You can’t get rid of the dirt by throwing it on someone else.
If you are willing to accept responsibility for your own life, God is willing to come in and do his work in your life. He can redeem your failures and your mistakes. He can turn the dirt into compost. And from the fertilizer of your failure, a new life can grow.
He can do that. That’s what grace is all about.
But you’ve got to stop throwing your stuff on other people. You’ve got to finally say, “This dirt is mine.” When you do, the work of redemption begins. And when at last God has done his work, something beautiful will begin to blossom out of the soil of your bitter mistakes.
AHAB AND THE PROPHET ELIJAH
In 1 Kings 18:17 king Ahab told the prophet Elijah, when speaking of the drought that Elijah had pronounced, -
“You are the man who troubles Israel.” Elijah answered right back telling the king the truth, “No, you’re the one who troubles Israel.”
SARAH
You will remember that Sarah persuaded Abram to sleep with Hagar but she immediately passed the buck to her husband when things didn’t turn out as she’d planned.
ESAU
You will also remember Esau who carelessly sells his birthright for a bowl of bean soup demonstrating his contempt for his birthright then turns around and bitterly accuses Jacob of stealing it.
AARON
The first high priest of Israel passed the buck to the people when Moses confronted him about forging the molten calf. He told Moses, “Don’t get mad at me—you know these people.” Aaron denied all culpability in making the idol from melted gold, when he was largely responsible.
Like some names we’ve already called, Aaron was quick to take credit for things done properly but lightening quick to shift the blame when things ran amok. So the beat goes on.
KING SAUL
When King Saul was confronted by Samuel about why he didn’t obey God and totally destroy the Amalekites animals and all, he blamed the people.
PILATE
When Pilate saw that he couldn’t keep the mob under control he washed his hands in front of the multitude and said, “I am innocent of the blood of this just person.”
BLAMING THE DEVIL
The late comedian Flip Wilson had a famous line, “The devil made me do it.”
The devil is an awesome foe but you and I know the devil can’t force Christians to do something they don’t want to do.
Listen to Proverbs 28:13;
He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.
Let me make one last suggestion here. Look in the mirror. This a good place to start. Are you a blamer? The answer is probably yes because as we’ve said, that’s part of Original Sin we inherited from Adam and Eve. The better question is probably-in what ways do I use blame as an excuse for not accepting responsibility?
If you and I want the blessings of God on our lives, we must mentally place a sign on the desk of our hearts reading, “The Buck Stops here.” After that we must stand solidly behind it and put it to work in our Christian walk.
When this happens we’ll begin to take quantum steps toward Christian growth.
Blessings,
John
A baseball team was having problems with their center-fielder.
Smith played the position but it seemed every fly-ball that came his way he’d get his glove on it but couldn’t catch it. During one game this was happening repeatedly.
Finally the coach took Smith out and put in a very good center-fielder named Jones. Jones ran out into center field with his game face on and a great show of confidence as if to say, there’ll be no more errors today. Low and behold, every fly ball that came toward Jones was dropped- to his utter embarrassment.
After a few more misses by Jones the coach had to remove him because he wasn’t doing any better than Smith. So out to center field runs the newbie, a man named Clark. Now things would pick up. To the utter astonishment of the fans, every single fly ball that went out to Clark went right through his glove just as it had Jones and Smiths.’ The coach went out to talk to Clark saying that if he didn’t stop making errors, he’d have to replace him as he did the others.
The very next fly ball that came to Clark was dropped. He stormed off the field in total disgust and was heard to say as he walked along the sidelines, “those guys have got center field so messed up nobody could play it now.”
I did a little research on the meaning and origins of the term “buck-passing.” As I understand it the odd expression appears to have come from the old days during card games where passing the buck was actually buckshot. A token was used in a game to show who was next to deal---a bit of buckshot. In order to designate who had responsibility for dealing next, you would literally pass the buckshot. This was later shortened to buck. Over time, the phrase “passing the buck” came to mean that you pass responsibility onto someone or something else.
How often in an average day do we hear, “You did it” “you caused it”- "Don’t look at me’-“you’re to blame” “I did nothing wrong”- “I’m innocent.” We do this almost as a natural reflex. Blame is so easy to dish out, isn’t it?
In the last few weeks of watching the news I’ve heard the term used dozens of times by politicians, most recently by the president. Speaking of presidents; you’ve most likely heard that President Harry Truman was famous for keeping a small plague on his desk reading “The Buck Stops Here.”
In the few months of the oil gush, we’ve seen and heard the buck passed numbers of times. There are more versions of “The dog ate my homework” than I ever knew existed. President Reagan kept a plaque on his desk saying, “There is no limit to what you can accomplish if you don’t care who gets the credit.” It seems to me our present leaders could have one that read, “There’s no limit to the credit you can get if you don’t care who did the accomplishing.”
We see buck-passing in smokers with self-imposed addictions attempting to get millions from tobacco companies by shifting the blame for their habit, obviously unable to read the ominous warnings from The Surgeon General on each pack.
We see it in public officials every time they pass the blame for some failure to their predecessors.
THE BLAME GAME
Passing the buck happens when you blame other people for your problems. It’s a way of explaining why life hasn’t worked out the way you would like. You’ve been treated unfairly; you’ve ended up on the short end of the stick; you’ve been dealt a lousy hand of cards. You’re a victim. And that’s how you get through life—by blaming other people for the bad things that happen to you.
If you’re late turning in a report at work, that’s easy. You just say, “I would have turned it in earlier but Frank was late getting the statistics to me.”
If you lose your job, it’s because the boss was unreasonable, he didn’t understand you, he had it in for you, and he hated you from the moment you walked into the office.
—If you didn’t keep a promise, it’s because you were too busy doing other things.
—If you failed to do your homework, it’s because your roommate borrowed the textbook and wouldn’t give it back.
—If you lost your temper, it’s because “they” provoked you.
- If a relationship ended, it couldn’t have been your fault. Of course not. You are a nice person.
The other person was a creep. That’s all there is to it.
Sound familiar? It ought to. Most of us know all too well about being a victim. Years ago we learned the victim’s battle cry—"It’s not my fault.” We’re not always sure whose fault it is, but we know it’s not our fault.
Who me? Couldn’t be. Impossible. Unthinkable.
But if it’s not us, it must be somebody else. Maybe it’s Jones or Smith. Our parents, possibly. It’s popular to blame parents nowadays for every kind of psychological illness. If it’s not our parents, then it’s probably our brothers or sisters. They never treated us right. We were always overlooked. But if not our parents, the world is still full of candidates.
It could be our grandparents who messed us up. Or maybe it was the friends we ran around with in high school. Maybe we ran with the wrong crowd and they corrupted us, or maybe we ran with the good crowd and we ended up too good for our own good. Of course, you can always blame your husband. After all, he’s probably just a bone-head. Or you can blame your wife. She’s far from perfect. Or maybe it’s the people where you work.
ADAM AND EVE – CLASSIC BUCK-PASSERS
There’s a reason why we’re so good at the blame game. We make excuses because excuse-making is in our family tree. It’s in our spiritual bloodstream. When we pass the buck, we’re only doing what our ancestors did.
Let’s roll the tape backwards to the Garden of Eden. Let’s focus our lens right after Adam and Eve have eaten the forbidden fruit. To the untrained eye, it still looks like paradise. Adam has just eaten the fruit and a silly, guilty grin slides across his face. He knows he’s done something wrong, but he has no idea what is about to happen next.
It happens so fast. He looks at Eve and notices something he never saw before. She doesn’t have any clothes on. That’s a shock to him. Then he looks down. He’s naked too. The thought crosses his mind, “We better cover ourselves up.”
But where did that thought come from? It came from a mind that has just had its first encounter with sin. Adam and Eve never wore clothes before because they never knew they were naked. The shame of nakedness is the first result of the fall.
Sin first brings shame. And with shame comes the disgrace of being uncovered. Then a strange sound of footsteps. Who could it be? It’s the Lord walking in the garden in the cool of the day.
Instinctively [and I used that word carefully] Adam and Eve hide themselves. Why? Who told them to hide? No one had to tell them anything. Their guilty consciences condemned them. Disobedience is now bearing its bitter fruit. Where once they enjoyed unbroken fellowship with God, - now sin has separated them from their Creator. Hiding from God is the second result of the fall.
But now the truth is about to come out. When God calls out for Adam, the man answers, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.” There was no shame in nakedness as long as there was nothing to hide, but once sin entered the picture, Adam could not face God uncovered.
Then the question, “Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat of?” And the answer, -“The woman that you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”
That’s a classic piece of buck-passing. Blame it on the woman and if that doesn’t work, blame it on God. Minimize your guilt by making the others look bad.
But the story still isn’t over. God turns to Eve and asks her, “What is this you have done?” Listen to her answer: “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
Do you know what’s so tricky about those two answers? Technically, Adam and Eve both told the truth. Adam told the truth when he said Eve gave him the fruit. Eve told the truth when she said the serpent deceived her. But both of them were making excuses as a means of avoiding personal responsibility. As long as Adam could blame Eve, he didn’t look so bad. And as long as Eve could blame the serpent, she looks like an innocent victim.
That explains many things. First, it tells us that the tendency to blame others is deeply ingrained in human nature. Second, it tells us that left to ourselves; we will do anything to avoid taking personal responsibility for our actions. Third, it tells us that blaming others is often nothing more than a subtle twisting of the truth in order to take the heat off of ourselves. Fourth, it tells us that without a deep working of the grace of God within us, we will do exactly what Adam and
Eve did.
CHEATING HEARTS
Jeremiah wrote in 17:9, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and beyond cure. Who can understand it.”
We are by nature so deceitful that we will do anything say anything to avoid admitting the truth about ourselves. And we will do anything to avoid taking personal responsibility for our actions.
We live in a society which teaches us to blame other people for our problems. And we go along with it because blaming others is in our spiritual bloodstream. Passing the buck is part of our inherited sin nature. Adam was the first buck-passer; Eve was the second. But they weren’t the last. After thousands of years, we’ve learned our lessons well.
THE MAN AT THE POOL OF BETHESDA
There’s a wonderful story in John 5 that brings this issue to the surface. Jesus had come to Jerusalem during one of the yearly feasts. Thousands of pilgrims were there from throughout Israel. While he was there, he paid a visit to a place called Bethesda, “the house of mercy.” It was a pool near the Sheep Gate in the northeastern section of the city. Five porches were built by the pool. It was the Jewish Lourdes of that day. The Jews believed that an angel would come and periodically stir the waters. The first person to enter the water after it had been stirred would be healed of his diseases.
So hundreds of sick and infirm people gathered around the pool, waiting and hoping for the water to be stirred. On the day that Jesus passed by, he met a man who had been an invalid for 38 years. When He found out how long the man had been paralyzed, He asked only one question, “Do you want to be well?”
On the surface it seems to be a bizarre question. Why else would the man be there? Of course he wanted to be well. Was Jesus insulting his intelligence? No, not at all. He was asking a very serious question. He was asking because it was entirely possible that the man did not want to get well.
The man answers this way: “Do I want to be healed? That’s a crazy question. Why do you think I’m here? You must be new here. You don’t understand the problem. Every time the water is stirred, somebody else beats me to the water. No one will ever help me. They just push me out of the way.” Have you ever heard a sadder story? Ain’t it a shame?”
I think Jesus is probing at the level of the will. He’s saying, “Stop blaming others for your problems. I have the power to make you well. But I won’t exercise my power until you decide you want to be well. If I make you well, you can’t sit here and gossip all day. If I make you well, you can’t be a beggar anymore. If I make you well, you can’t use your illness to get special treatment at home. If I make you well, you won’t get all that sympathy anymore. There’s a price to be paid for being well. Do you want to pay it?”
Jesus is saying, “Do you really want to be changed?” If the answer is yes, then miracles can take place. If the answer is no, then even Jesus cannot help you.
As I wrote in a recent blog, change is scary. It takes a lot of faith to truly want Jesus to change you. Sometimes it’s easier to stay the way you are.
The Son of God won’t barge into your life unless you invite him in. He will not change you unless you want to be changed.
THE “POOR ME” ATTITUDE
The man at the pool was indulging in self-pity.
How do you spot a person with a “poor me” attitude? There are several signs:
•They endlessly repeat how others have mistreated them.
•They view the world as hostile and unfair to them.
•They are “beachcombers of misery” who see each grievance as a treasure to add to their collection.
•They have a hidden need to feel bad. Many have enjoyed bad health for years.
•They live by the childish notion that life should always be fair to them.
•They find it very difficult to forgive others because forgiveness is a sign of weakness.
•They have a competitive view of life in which others are always winning at their expense.
•They have difficulty maintaining close friendships because they eventually turn on their close friends.
•They see themselves as permanent victims.
•They tend to be pessimists, always anticipating the worst possible outcome in every situation. Their pessimism becomes a form of self-fulfilling prophecy.
•They destroy their closest relationships because they have difficulty trusting other people.
It’s hard to break the poor-me attitude because people derive a kind of perverse satisfaction from it. However- the cost is high for the “poor me” folk.
They pay for that pleasure by forfeiting the hope of happiness. Only when we ask whether the price tag is too steep does change become possible.
Have you given up the hope of happiness? Perhaps you feel like the man lying beside the pool for 38 years. “There’s no hope for me. Things will never change. Somebody else will always get there first.”
If you feel that way, then let me ask the question Jesus asked: Do you want to be healed? That’s the first step in a new life. Do you want Jesus Christ to come into your life and change you?
Only God Gives Us Hope
Some people have felt like losers for years and years. When they tally up the score, they always seem to be losing by four touchdowns.
Here is the gospel: In Jesus Christ you are already a winner! That’s what grace is all about. He takes perpetual losers and he transforms them into eternal winners. He takes people who have no hope and he gives them a hope and a future. He takes people who are down on their luck and makes them recipients of sovereign grace.
Here is the proof that you are at last beginning to grow in your spiritual life:
—You no longer need to defend yourself.
—You no longer have to blame others for your problems.
—You don’t have to win every time.
Are you tempted to blame others for your problems? Are you tempted to take the dirt of your failures and throw it on them? Don’t do it. All you’ll do is make them dirty. You won’t make yourself clean. You can’t get rid of the dirt by throwing it on someone else.
If you are willing to accept responsibility for your own life, God is willing to come in and do his work in your life. He can redeem your failures and your mistakes. He can turn the dirt into compost. And from the fertilizer of your failure, a new life can grow.
He can do that. That’s what grace is all about.
But you’ve got to stop throwing your stuff on other people. You’ve got to finally say, “This dirt is mine.” When you do, the work of redemption begins. And when at last God has done his work, something beautiful will begin to blossom out of the soil of your bitter mistakes.
AHAB AND THE PROPHET ELIJAH
In 1 Kings 18:17 king Ahab told the prophet Elijah, when speaking of the drought that Elijah had pronounced, -
“You are the man who troubles Israel.” Elijah answered right back telling the king the truth, “No, you’re the one who troubles Israel.”
SARAH
You will remember that Sarah persuaded Abram to sleep with Hagar but she immediately passed the buck to her husband when things didn’t turn out as she’d planned.
ESAU
You will also remember Esau who carelessly sells his birthright for a bowl of bean soup demonstrating his contempt for his birthright then turns around and bitterly accuses Jacob of stealing it.
AARON
The first high priest of Israel passed the buck to the people when Moses confronted him about forging the molten calf. He told Moses, “Don’t get mad at me—you know these people.” Aaron denied all culpability in making the idol from melted gold, when he was largely responsible.
Like some names we’ve already called, Aaron was quick to take credit for things done properly but lightening quick to shift the blame when things ran amok. So the beat goes on.
KING SAUL
When King Saul was confronted by Samuel about why he didn’t obey God and totally destroy the Amalekites animals and all, he blamed the people.
PILATE
When Pilate saw that he couldn’t keep the mob under control he washed his hands in front of the multitude and said, “I am innocent of the blood of this just person.”
BLAMING THE DEVIL
The late comedian Flip Wilson had a famous line, “The devil made me do it.”
The devil is an awesome foe but you and I know the devil can’t force Christians to do something they don’t want to do.
Listen to Proverbs 28:13;
He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.
Let me make one last suggestion here. Look in the mirror. This a good place to start. Are you a blamer? The answer is probably yes because as we’ve said, that’s part of Original Sin we inherited from Adam and Eve. The better question is probably-in what ways do I use blame as an excuse for not accepting responsibility?
If you and I want the blessings of God on our lives, we must mentally place a sign on the desk of our hearts reading, “The Buck Stops here.” After that we must stand solidly behind it and put it to work in our Christian walk.
When this happens we’ll begin to take quantum steps toward Christian growth.
Blessings,
John
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Whining And Dining
By John Stallings
……And the Lord spake unto Moses saying, I have heard the murmurings of the Children of Israel…Exodus 16:11-12
Do all things without complaining & disputing…Phil.2:14
Welcome to the fine art of whining.
Most of us, no matter what profession we’re in, constantly get our fill of whining. Pastors, teachers, restaurant owners, sales people, politicians, parents, you name it, all get more than their share of whining. At Malls, restaurants, book stores church and almost anywhere else you go, one of the hallmarks of the experience will be children whining and fussing. Its part of the package and we’ve pretty much learned to accept it.
Yesterday, Juda and I flew home from Philadelphia where we attended the wedding of our eldest grandson which was absolutely stunning. It was a joyous occasion and I might add the experience of a lifetime. As we boarded the plane in Philly, the lady in front of us was already in a fight with her baby son. Since she looked at us and smiled I smiled back and quipped; “I guess we’ll learn junior’s name by the time we get to Orlando.” She clearly didn’t get it and kept smiling. My statement was prophetic. She screamed that baby’s name about six-hundred times in the next two hours. I have a special move that would stop behavior like that in a New York minute but I didn’t dare tell the lady about it.
Pastors aren’t exempt from whiners but the one thing they can’t say is, “don’t come whining to me.” I have seen nice church folk sit down to a free meal & complain because the forks were placed on the wrong side of the plates.
People in most walks of life get thick-skinned and learn to ignore the carping and develop the philosophy, “The dogs keep barking but the caravan moves on.”
Most people think happiness is related to money or a relationship. Some think happiness is some sort of “physical shape” or a vacation destination. They truly believe they at all times are one shopping trip from happiness. What is it for you that you think will make you happy? If it’s money, what does that figure look like to you? Is it 10, 15, 50, 100,000 dollars in the bank? Is it when you can pay off all your bills or buy all the clothes, cars or houses you want?
Will it really make you stop grumbling & complaining & make you more delightful & content so that you no longer argue & dispute with others?
QUESTION—WHAT EXTERNAL CIRCUMSTANCE CAN CHANGE YOUR INTERNAL STATE?
Maybe you’ll blow these questions off & answer smugly, “Brother, I’m happy because I have Jesus.” O.K. Fine, after all I was just throwing some questions out there anyway. And here’s why;
81% of us want more than we earn.
94% of us know we’re too materialistic, yet…
89% of us expect to “have it all.”
Per capita we are the richest country in history yet we are also the most depressed people in the history of the world. We are also the most bored & discontent. We have the highest suicide rate, murder rate & committed insane in institutions than any nation. There are almost 100 nations in this world where the average person spends less on themselves per year than we spend on our garbage bags. We have over twice as many Malls as we do high schools. 75% of the people in Malls right now have no real idea why they are there & went for “retail therapy” trying to purchase happiness. That “buzz” will only last 15-20 minutes & then buyer’s remorse sets in.
The average American has over 8 thousand dollars worth of credit card debt. The average American will spend more on themselves for watches & jewelry & clothes than they will spend on education for themselves & their children. Over the last 20 years the number of items in supermarkets has grown by 200%. We work more than any other nation so we can buy more things but we have less time to enjoy the things we worked so hard to get. We are lucky if we get 2 weeks of paid vacation per year, while most Europeans take 1-3 months off for vacation.
The average American parent spends 6 hours of the week shopping & 40 minutes playing with their kids. Our suicide & divorce rate tripled from 1970-1999. Our nation comprises only 4.6% of the world’s population yet we use 40% of the world’s resources. American’s are born consumers & probably the greatest consumption is sex. America spends 32 billion dollars a year on pornography which is more than baseball, basketball & football combined.
Americans are 10 times more depressed & 40 times more violent than we were in the 1950s. We have bought the great lie that possessions & affluence means happiness & freedom. Our consumerism has given rise to horribly unhappy lives & we’ve become slaves to our possessions. In simple terms, we think the more stuff we have the happier we’ll be, & it hasn’t happened.
We’re driven to buy things to make us happy & are so in debt we live in fear of losing things we don’t even own. We can’t rest & enjoy the fruit of our labors because we don’t own the fruit. We can hardly walk through the mall without being stopped by an “opinion pollster” acting as our friend when all he/she wants us to do is tell them how to better sell things to us. I stopped co-operating with them years ago. Buying is bred into us from the first moment we were able to formulate thoughts using everything from cartoons to the backs of cereal boxes.
Discontentment with the way things are is hammered into us & our children. Materialism & thirst for things has led our children to never be happy with what they have. Instead of using our hands on the backsides of unruly kids like our parents did, we too often leave them undisciplined & just work harder to buy them more things.
Discontent has bred impatience which is another mark of our times, along with long lines, rude people, high prices, traffic jams, terrible drivers & crying babies. Road rage & abused & killed babies are byproducts of this kind of impatience. Then some people have a “mid-life crisis.”
What's that all about? A mid-life crisis happens when folk realize there is less life ahead than behind & they haven’t gotten all the “stuff” they’d dreamed of. Spurred by this, many of them then have “one last flaring up before fading out.” Many little red sports cars, & or, face & body work is then sold to them.
PEOPLE BRING THIS CONSUMERISM INTO THE CHURCH.
They want shorter, funnier sermons. They want less theology & they want catchy music. They want more convenient service times. They want to hear less about sin & more teaching on love. Do you get the point?
What we seem to have forgotten is that God doesn’t exist for us, we exist for Him. The church doesn’t exist for us; we exist to be the church. The pastor doesn’t exist to be our fishing buddy. I know it hurts to hear it but the world doesn’t revolve around us. What is needed in the church is for us to be turned away from being consumers to being true worshippers of the living God.
There’s one thing I’ve learned that I can share with you. The more I whine the more negative and miserable I become. Whining and complaining will sooner or later cast you in a sea of negativity that will rob you of energy, enthusiasm, and life itself. It’s just a small step from whining to cynicism. I once heard a definition of a cynic. “A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past; they are prematurely disappointed in the future.” But really, that attitude isn’t too Christian is it?
When I get all whiny, I start to talk about how hopeless everything is and how useless it is to try. However, I always pull myself out of it for the one simple fact; I know that’s not who I am and that’s not where I want to be. I know that if I stay there with the moaning and the groaning, I’m going to hurt myself and everyone around me. Once you’re “ in the soup” of complaining negativity, it doesn’t really matter if you got there by whining about small, imaginary things or real issues, you’re still “In the soup” and are going to be cooked.
WHINING IS CONTAGIOUS
Ask Moses and Aaron. As you know the Israelites got out into the desert and went negative. They had faced down Pharaoh and escaped the Egyptian Armored Divisions. They had walked a super hi-way through the Red sea. Their enemies were in the land God had promised them and they were digging wells for them and building homes and roads for them. But what do they do? They start getting negative and asking, “Are we lost?” They don’t give Moses a plaque with the names of the twelve tribes on it. They don’t offer him a decorative quilt. They don’t even say thank you. They don’t have a thanksgiving service. They say, “The deserts too hot.” “How much further is it?” “I’m hungry”, and so on.
Isn’t it interesting that God hears their complaints. You might think that our great God would turn a deaf ear to their grumblings and whining. You might think that God would be so big that He’d say, “Well, they’re only human, what else is to be expected of them.” But no, God hears it and takes it serious. There are two sides to that. One is the side that God is attentive to his children and hears each cry. The other side, which isn’t such good news, is that God heard these bitter cries and took them serious; as a matter of fact he seems to take it personally.
Then God starts to give them Manna twice a day. I don’t know what manna is but I like to think of it as cinnamon-buns served with boiling hot coffee. But what do they do? Do they praise God from whom all blessings flow? No, they whine. They’re eating, they’re full, they’re feasting on the riches of Gods grace, but they’re whining and dining at the same time.
The problem now becomes, there’s only so much you can do with manna.
• Fried manna
• Boiled manna
• Baked manna
• Manna fritters
• Manna and banana
• Manna scampi
• Manna etouffe’
Then the Israelites starting wanting meat to eat; they whined so much that God finally said; O.K you want meat to eat? I’ll give you meat until it comes out your noses. Really! You can look it up. God puts them on the Adkins diet, all meat.
Do you want me to tell you what this looks like to me? It looks like God has His limits. He has a place He comes to where He says, “Get a grip & put your problems into perspective.”
IF SOMETHING IS BOTHERING YOU SO BAD YOU’VE STARTED GOING ON AND ON ABOUT IT, ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS.
• Ask yourself if the thing you’re bothered about really matters. If it really matters, you need to do something about it. If it doesn’t, let it go. Before you dump it on a friend, a co-worker or anyone else, ask yourself what’s really bothering you. What is it you’re really unhappy about? More often than not our whines are symptoms of what’s going on inside of us and sometimes it hard to face up to what it really is. Are you talking to the right person? If not, it’s triangulating or gossiping and that’s going to hurt everybody involved. There’s no use whining to someone who can’t do anything about it but get negative with you.
• Realize the effect that your complaint will have on the person you share it with. It takes 10 positive remarks to balance out a single negative one. Is your complaint going to be worth the damage it might do?
• Consider ways you may have contributed to the problem and ways you might help solve it. Consider also that others may have a completely different way of looking at the problem and don’t be offended if they don’t see it your way.
• Finally, be sure you express your problem if you do give voice to it, within a context of mutual respect and concern. Seek to find solutions not punish. Seek solutions that will build toward better relationships later on not leave people frustrated and discouraged. Unity is still the Christians goal and severed relationships are serious in Gods eyes.
• Don’t let a minor complaint become a major division.
EVERY BATTLE ISN’T ARMAGEDDON.
In closing, if you are someone who needs a prayer partner to help you pray something through, that’s not whining.
If you are passionate about some issue, and need to vent, that’s not whining.
If someone has hurt your feelings and you want to talk, talk to them, that’s not whining.
Life is too precious to fritter away on negativity. Our missions are too important to be sacrificed to the nibbling of minnows. We all need positive people to help keep us from becoming negative. We should do that for one another, don’t you think? God is patient with us and we should be patient with one another.
May we never get so thick skinned that we fail to relate to others who may have a burr under their saddle. May we put things into perspective and keep the carping down to a minimum. We have so much more to be grateful for that we do to complain about.
Paul speaks to the complainers in the Philippians 2 & tells them to;
Work out your salvation (not work for our salvation) in fear & trembling. Vr.12
In other words we’re to work out our salvation with fear & trembling without complaining & disputing. The word complaining in the Greek is gongusmos which means guttural grumbling sound when you are disgruntled & frustrated. It’s like someone talking about someone behind your back & under their breath so you can’t quiet hear it. It’s the same kind of grumbling we read about in 1 Corinthians 10:10 that Paul used to describe the Israelites who grumbled & were “destroyed by the destroyer.” 14,700 grumblers were destroyed & not allowed to enter the promise land because Korah & his company murmured against Moses & Aaron & ultimately against God.
God is a loving father who gives us many good things & too often we start to worship these things instead of Him. That’s why we get miserable because when the excitement of these things wears off we want a better one, a bigger one & a faster one. Our goal is to be true worshippers of God. When we worship Him instead of the things He gives us our lives become a wellspring of true joy that ends in happiness instead of disillusion & death.
MAY GOD GIVE US A GRATEFUL SPIRIT SO THAT WE MIGHT SHARE WITH THE WORLD OUR REASON FOR HOPE, OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST.
Blessings,
John
……And the Lord spake unto Moses saying, I have heard the murmurings of the Children of Israel…Exodus 16:11-12
Do all things without complaining & disputing…Phil.2:14
Welcome to the fine art of whining.
Most of us, no matter what profession we’re in, constantly get our fill of whining. Pastors, teachers, restaurant owners, sales people, politicians, parents, you name it, all get more than their share of whining. At Malls, restaurants, book stores church and almost anywhere else you go, one of the hallmarks of the experience will be children whining and fussing. Its part of the package and we’ve pretty much learned to accept it.
Yesterday, Juda and I flew home from Philadelphia where we attended the wedding of our eldest grandson which was absolutely stunning. It was a joyous occasion and I might add the experience of a lifetime. As we boarded the plane in Philly, the lady in front of us was already in a fight with her baby son. Since she looked at us and smiled I smiled back and quipped; “I guess we’ll learn junior’s name by the time we get to Orlando.” She clearly didn’t get it and kept smiling. My statement was prophetic. She screamed that baby’s name about six-hundred times in the next two hours. I have a special move that would stop behavior like that in a New York minute but I didn’t dare tell the lady about it.
Pastors aren’t exempt from whiners but the one thing they can’t say is, “don’t come whining to me.” I have seen nice church folk sit down to a free meal & complain because the forks were placed on the wrong side of the plates.
People in most walks of life get thick-skinned and learn to ignore the carping and develop the philosophy, “The dogs keep barking but the caravan moves on.”
Most people think happiness is related to money or a relationship. Some think happiness is some sort of “physical shape” or a vacation destination. They truly believe they at all times are one shopping trip from happiness. What is it for you that you think will make you happy? If it’s money, what does that figure look like to you? Is it 10, 15, 50, 100,000 dollars in the bank? Is it when you can pay off all your bills or buy all the clothes, cars or houses you want?
Will it really make you stop grumbling & complaining & make you more delightful & content so that you no longer argue & dispute with others?
QUESTION—WHAT EXTERNAL CIRCUMSTANCE CAN CHANGE YOUR INTERNAL STATE?
Maybe you’ll blow these questions off & answer smugly, “Brother, I’m happy because I have Jesus.” O.K. Fine, after all I was just throwing some questions out there anyway. And here’s why;
81% of us want more than we earn.
94% of us know we’re too materialistic, yet…
89% of us expect to “have it all.”
Per capita we are the richest country in history yet we are also the most depressed people in the history of the world. We are also the most bored & discontent. We have the highest suicide rate, murder rate & committed insane in institutions than any nation. There are almost 100 nations in this world where the average person spends less on themselves per year than we spend on our garbage bags. We have over twice as many Malls as we do high schools. 75% of the people in Malls right now have no real idea why they are there & went for “retail therapy” trying to purchase happiness. That “buzz” will only last 15-20 minutes & then buyer’s remorse sets in.
The average American has over 8 thousand dollars worth of credit card debt. The average American will spend more on themselves for watches & jewelry & clothes than they will spend on education for themselves & their children. Over the last 20 years the number of items in supermarkets has grown by 200%. We work more than any other nation so we can buy more things but we have less time to enjoy the things we worked so hard to get. We are lucky if we get 2 weeks of paid vacation per year, while most Europeans take 1-3 months off for vacation.
The average American parent spends 6 hours of the week shopping & 40 minutes playing with their kids. Our suicide & divorce rate tripled from 1970-1999. Our nation comprises only 4.6% of the world’s population yet we use 40% of the world’s resources. American’s are born consumers & probably the greatest consumption is sex. America spends 32 billion dollars a year on pornography which is more than baseball, basketball & football combined.
Americans are 10 times more depressed & 40 times more violent than we were in the 1950s. We have bought the great lie that possessions & affluence means happiness & freedom. Our consumerism has given rise to horribly unhappy lives & we’ve become slaves to our possessions. In simple terms, we think the more stuff we have the happier we’ll be, & it hasn’t happened.
We’re driven to buy things to make us happy & are so in debt we live in fear of losing things we don’t even own. We can’t rest & enjoy the fruit of our labors because we don’t own the fruit. We can hardly walk through the mall without being stopped by an “opinion pollster” acting as our friend when all he/she wants us to do is tell them how to better sell things to us. I stopped co-operating with them years ago. Buying is bred into us from the first moment we were able to formulate thoughts using everything from cartoons to the backs of cereal boxes.
Discontentment with the way things are is hammered into us & our children. Materialism & thirst for things has led our children to never be happy with what they have. Instead of using our hands on the backsides of unruly kids like our parents did, we too often leave them undisciplined & just work harder to buy them more things.
Discontent has bred impatience which is another mark of our times, along with long lines, rude people, high prices, traffic jams, terrible drivers & crying babies. Road rage & abused & killed babies are byproducts of this kind of impatience. Then some people have a “mid-life crisis.”
What's that all about? A mid-life crisis happens when folk realize there is less life ahead than behind & they haven’t gotten all the “stuff” they’d dreamed of. Spurred by this, many of them then have “one last flaring up before fading out.” Many little red sports cars, & or, face & body work is then sold to them.
PEOPLE BRING THIS CONSUMERISM INTO THE CHURCH.
They want shorter, funnier sermons. They want less theology & they want catchy music. They want more convenient service times. They want to hear less about sin & more teaching on love. Do you get the point?
What we seem to have forgotten is that God doesn’t exist for us, we exist for Him. The church doesn’t exist for us; we exist to be the church. The pastor doesn’t exist to be our fishing buddy. I know it hurts to hear it but the world doesn’t revolve around us. What is needed in the church is for us to be turned away from being consumers to being true worshippers of the living God.
There’s one thing I’ve learned that I can share with you. The more I whine the more negative and miserable I become. Whining and complaining will sooner or later cast you in a sea of negativity that will rob you of energy, enthusiasm, and life itself. It’s just a small step from whining to cynicism. I once heard a definition of a cynic. “A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past; they are prematurely disappointed in the future.” But really, that attitude isn’t too Christian is it?
When I get all whiny, I start to talk about how hopeless everything is and how useless it is to try. However, I always pull myself out of it for the one simple fact; I know that’s not who I am and that’s not where I want to be. I know that if I stay there with the moaning and the groaning, I’m going to hurt myself and everyone around me. Once you’re “ in the soup” of complaining negativity, it doesn’t really matter if you got there by whining about small, imaginary things or real issues, you’re still “In the soup” and are going to be cooked.
WHINING IS CONTAGIOUS
Ask Moses and Aaron. As you know the Israelites got out into the desert and went negative. They had faced down Pharaoh and escaped the Egyptian Armored Divisions. They had walked a super hi-way through the Red sea. Their enemies were in the land God had promised them and they were digging wells for them and building homes and roads for them. But what do they do? They start getting negative and asking, “Are we lost?” They don’t give Moses a plaque with the names of the twelve tribes on it. They don’t offer him a decorative quilt. They don’t even say thank you. They don’t have a thanksgiving service. They say, “The deserts too hot.” “How much further is it?” “I’m hungry”, and so on.
Isn’t it interesting that God hears their complaints. You might think that our great God would turn a deaf ear to their grumblings and whining. You might think that God would be so big that He’d say, “Well, they’re only human, what else is to be expected of them.” But no, God hears it and takes it serious. There are two sides to that. One is the side that God is attentive to his children and hears each cry. The other side, which isn’t such good news, is that God heard these bitter cries and took them serious; as a matter of fact he seems to take it personally.
Then God starts to give them Manna twice a day. I don’t know what manna is but I like to think of it as cinnamon-buns served with boiling hot coffee. But what do they do? Do they praise God from whom all blessings flow? No, they whine. They’re eating, they’re full, they’re feasting on the riches of Gods grace, but they’re whining and dining at the same time.
The problem now becomes, there’s only so much you can do with manna.
• Fried manna
• Boiled manna
• Baked manna
• Manna fritters
• Manna and banana
• Manna scampi
• Manna etouffe’
Then the Israelites starting wanting meat to eat; they whined so much that God finally said; O.K you want meat to eat? I’ll give you meat until it comes out your noses. Really! You can look it up. God puts them on the Adkins diet, all meat.
Do you want me to tell you what this looks like to me? It looks like God has His limits. He has a place He comes to where He says, “Get a grip & put your problems into perspective.”
IF SOMETHING IS BOTHERING YOU SO BAD YOU’VE STARTED GOING ON AND ON ABOUT IT, ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS.
• Ask yourself if the thing you’re bothered about really matters. If it really matters, you need to do something about it. If it doesn’t, let it go. Before you dump it on a friend, a co-worker or anyone else, ask yourself what’s really bothering you. What is it you’re really unhappy about? More often than not our whines are symptoms of what’s going on inside of us and sometimes it hard to face up to what it really is. Are you talking to the right person? If not, it’s triangulating or gossiping and that’s going to hurt everybody involved. There’s no use whining to someone who can’t do anything about it but get negative with you.
• Realize the effect that your complaint will have on the person you share it with. It takes 10 positive remarks to balance out a single negative one. Is your complaint going to be worth the damage it might do?
• Consider ways you may have contributed to the problem and ways you might help solve it. Consider also that others may have a completely different way of looking at the problem and don’t be offended if they don’t see it your way.
• Finally, be sure you express your problem if you do give voice to it, within a context of mutual respect and concern. Seek to find solutions not punish. Seek solutions that will build toward better relationships later on not leave people frustrated and discouraged. Unity is still the Christians goal and severed relationships are serious in Gods eyes.
• Don’t let a minor complaint become a major division.
EVERY BATTLE ISN’T ARMAGEDDON.
In closing, if you are someone who needs a prayer partner to help you pray something through, that’s not whining.
If you are passionate about some issue, and need to vent, that’s not whining.
If someone has hurt your feelings and you want to talk, talk to them, that’s not whining.
Life is too precious to fritter away on negativity. Our missions are too important to be sacrificed to the nibbling of minnows. We all need positive people to help keep us from becoming negative. We should do that for one another, don’t you think? God is patient with us and we should be patient with one another.
May we never get so thick skinned that we fail to relate to others who may have a burr under their saddle. May we put things into perspective and keep the carping down to a minimum. We have so much more to be grateful for that we do to complain about.
Paul speaks to the complainers in the Philippians 2 & tells them to;
Work out your salvation (not work for our salvation) in fear & trembling. Vr.12
In other words we’re to work out our salvation with fear & trembling without complaining & disputing. The word complaining in the Greek is gongusmos which means guttural grumbling sound when you are disgruntled & frustrated. It’s like someone talking about someone behind your back & under their breath so you can’t quiet hear it. It’s the same kind of grumbling we read about in 1 Corinthians 10:10 that Paul used to describe the Israelites who grumbled & were “destroyed by the destroyer.” 14,700 grumblers were destroyed & not allowed to enter the promise land because Korah & his company murmured against Moses & Aaron & ultimately against God.
God is a loving father who gives us many good things & too often we start to worship these things instead of Him. That’s why we get miserable because when the excitement of these things wears off we want a better one, a bigger one & a faster one. Our goal is to be true worshippers of God. When we worship Him instead of the things He gives us our lives become a wellspring of true joy that ends in happiness instead of disillusion & death.
MAY GOD GIVE US A GRATEFUL SPIRIT SO THAT WE MIGHT SHARE WITH THE WORLD OUR REASON FOR HOPE, OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST.
Blessings,
John
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